I don’t know what else to do
I feel like I’m losing my grip
Clinging on to your shirt as it slowly rips
And you slip, from my grasp
To the demons that are dragging you
Away from me, away from you
Away from all that we’ve built and all that we know
And if I could I would throw myself in your path
To keep you, please don’t go
With one foot in now, the other in fear
Don’t give in to the vandella
Slowly stealing your mind and your soul
I need you here.

An empty house
An empty bed
An empty heart
An empty head
An empty soul
An empty night
An empty will
An empty light
An empty pillow
And for all I can see
An empty life
An empty me

My heart is beating like a hammer
Blood rushing in my ears
A screaming in my head
Can you hear it too?
It's the sound of my worst fears
Coming true
And with eyes full of tears
I can barely see
The door as you walk through
And out of my life
Out of the me and you

I once knew a girl with a hole in her heart
She was pretty and youthful, **** and smart
And when the offers of love came
They whistled straight through
Clear through the middle
No chance love could start

She often took lovers, beguiled and entrapped
No chance to get close, their time there was capped
Lust turns to love
But just for one party
Next man approaching
A sad lover lapped

Late twenties, proposals, they came thick and fast
She laughed in the face of each one that asked
Unable to give more
Than a month or two
Though sometimes regretting
The role that was cast

Then one day, unexpected, a true love appeared
She knew it was different the moment he neared
With her iciness melted
The hole slowly filled
Now able to love
Unsure why she had feared

She gave all she had, her emotions awoken
Not expecting he'd go, the reasons  unspoken
The pain when he left
Was too much to bear
A heart was made whole
Only then to be broken

On the escape from Paddington station
Up the ***** to Praed Street
I enter the daily wall of smoke
Rushing into my lungs
Choking a little life out of me
Until I emerge the other side
And run for my bus

Approaching the office, dragging my feet
The smart revolving doors
Lined by little puffs of smoke
Strategy defined on *** packets
Secret discussions I'll never know
My expensive perfume replaced with a new one
As I enter the lift

It's safe in the pub, if a little chilly
The air is clear, despite the odour of stale beer
But it's warm outside, where the smokers sit
And I'm jealous of their fun
I watch them laughing, sunglasses on
I too, could soak up the sun
But I think I'll stay in here

When you grow used to my body
will you crave another?
Will your eyes no longer find awe
if I slowly undress
in the curve of my waist,
and will your caress
of my smooth skin
no longer be an instinct
but instead perfunctory
Will the endless nights of passion
be replaced with snores
as your mind
and your body bores
of what is always there
Or will our love run deep,
enough to keep
The interest, the care
With new layers of desire
unfolding
Mutual understanding
The moulding
of a connection and a strength
that runs in us, and round us and through us
so that no matter what comes our way
no other could evoke
a need to stray.

Let's go for a walk
and leave this prison
thick with the harsh words and pain
that has  been absorbed
in to the walls and the carpets
and every inch of this house,
heavy and oozing,
dripping on to us,
coating every thought.
Choking and smothering
so that no word can leave our mouths
without barbs
meant to snag and hurt.
We cannot stay here.
We cannot talk here.
Let's go for a walk
to fill our lungs
with sweet fresh air
and let the chill of the night
clear our minds.
And our hearts, if we will let it