there was a time in my life
when sadness was a habit.
an inevitable spiral.
it was never not there.
until it wasn’t,
and healing came
like sunlight through
a crack in the clouds.
but every now and then
i get flashbacks
and feel myself falling back
into my inevitable spiral.
and it feels oh so good.
and it feels oh so natural.
old habits die hard.
old sadness lives on.

- p. winter

I've wasted it all
Nothing to spare besides these memories
Happy ones are the rarest to spare the least
All l see now is the down-spiral of despair

It's been months since I've been happy
The curvature beginning to unfold
Then abruptly coming to a halt
I wish l could say why it occurred..

I've received limited time
Only to do nothing with it
To change myself to become happy
But only to waste it and be neutral

It'll be fixed one day
But today is the day l reminisce
On the ways I've wasted my time
"Cheers", to the singular thing l wish to have more of.