It started early
Before he had a say
It melted into him
Like his blood, he is broken

I mean, he’s beautiful - angelic,
But he doesn’t have his scars.

This guy is educated and funny,
But he doesn’t have his hands.

He’s peaceful, confident
But he doesn’t have his smirk.

He’s strong and will care,
But I can’t hold his hand.

The new man is happy and clear,
But I need his uncertainty.

I'm lonely and you're nice.
Let's go on a first date,
Then a second,
Quick weekend away,
Meet my family,
Wear matching Christmas jumpers,
I'll be your sisters bridesmaid and you'll paint my **** house
Get married,
Have kids,
Love them,
Grow apart,
Blame them,
Blame eachother,
Be lonely,
Think somebody else is nice,
Be lonely with them instead,
Pine for eachother,
Die,
Be buried apart.
Ya me too.

I dream I plan I wonder
To keep warm at night
Another hour passes
Rest is a losing fight.

I've got pride in my hope
I revel in my plans
Cause when I'm faced with darkness
I can mould it with my hands

People laugh at us dreamers
They want to drag us into reality
But hold tight onto your sparkle
As sparkle breeds jealousy

What to do with this strange mind,
It does not relax it does not unwind,
It is not content until it is fed,
It's craving gets vicious when put to bed.

Over the hill and far away
Is where the make believe must play
The dreamers, inventors
The wishers and tempters.

How high such a hill
Should rise from the ground
And oh what a cackle
Has come from its crowd.

What glee and temptation
And lacking contemplation
Has thrown out such an awful menace
And now we, the outsiders do the penance.

Out of sight and out of mind
Has a one sided hangover I find.

Here we are another promise
Me and my friend me
Never to return again, although
His marks you clearly see

His handprints still blue with passion
Cover my body like lakes
Make those outside our island presume to be mistake

But in my cage with warning
I tear and itch with want
Those blueprints that I suffer
To always be my haunt

The cable that inhales me
Will never slack the line
As the holder of the the string
Is not his hand but mine

Be still my beating heart
Is easier to say
Than to be the one with the heart
That's  beating to keep at bay

The time mending all wounds
Would want to hurry on
Lying here waiting
For this pain to be gone

Sleeping doesn't work
I never fall into it
My head stays heavy
All the while its having a fit

C'mon now it's not that bad
Toughen up you're grown now
Just gimme a minute
I'll soon raise a brow

His hand his arm his face his mouth
Is tainted now by her
Her hand her arm her face her mouth
He'll probably prefer

You now must never forget
How this has made you feel
Your heart must now shut out
The skin you want to peel

Never forget how low you are
Never forget the pain
Cause once you see his hands again
From grasping them refrain

They're not the hands to connect inside
They're not the ones to mend
They're not the arms to fall into
They're not the arms of your friend

Never forget the blood
That rushed inside your head
When he told you what he did
You need this to remember to forget

Me and them
Them and me
Seems simple
Im cowardly

Just go say hi
Just start to smile
I will, I promise
Just in a while

Check the time
Now pretend to text
Its me I know it
Im needed next

All the topics
They're all taken
Eye contact
No Im mistaken

I try to write an epic poem
But all that comes when my soul breaks
Is seeing you wrapped up in blankets
Waiting upon your heartbreak

Routinely expecting false hope, false  courage
False everything that we all hold dear
For somebody else to say we're stupid
For holding hope in our our thoughts so clear

I try to write an epic poem
That will resinate with the masses beyond
But all that will happen, from here and now
Is that we will wait, not in ocean but pond.

Being there, just sitting
Makes you important.
A slight tilt of your chin,
Makes it all safe.
A shrug makes it go away
And your arms make me stay.

I'll lift my chin,
I'll open my arms,
I'll wait and listen,
I'll make it okay.

My eyes will be heavy,
My body lay still,
The pain in my chest
Douses flames with my will.

You do not know
Of that I've made sure
So your image of me
Remains untainted and pure.

If you tore me apart
And looked from inside
You'd see pain and disgust
Embarrassment and pride

So please leave me be

Familiar empty feeling has now changed to be a comfort,
Routine will always get me by.
This self indulgent feeling can not go for any longer
Ive always been too proud to cry.

But not right now, Ive got no time as I get ready for the day
Put on my socks, my shoes, my smile
Always been my saving grace.