What does it matter anymore,
That I'm so caught up in two malicious girls,
I will be heading far far away in a jiffy,
Experiencing a whole new world.
And prom?
Is so overrated,
Only the happiest of them go,
Without ever being hated...
I've learned too many lessons in life,
That my broken heart can take,
So let me run far away.
Oh, the everlasting memories I'd make!
Why is there so much hatred amongst us?!
And why can't there be sanity and peace amongst all,
Why does it have to be a battle every time,
I get up and knowingly fall.

As the golden sun sets,
My eyes tear and sparkle with joy,
The burning torture of the day; gone,
And now the white light to enjoy.
I sit at the stroke of midnight,
Eyeing beautiful lights up in the night sky,
Thousands; millions enraptured my acceptance,
Watching is a privilege, yet not to fly.
There is more to be seen,
For tiny stars are resting above me,
They call on me as to do a favor,
I am to count these stars,
Everyone I see.
Yet the beauty gets more intense,
Of newer, bigger stars forming,
Yet my ears follow another sound,
There becomes grayness for storming!
Stars faded one by one,
Some vanished in a row,
For this was no joke,
Nor any show!
The most widely known star,
Burned the cloud,
For whatever tiny stars were left cheered,
The night seemed so proud.

Just stop trying to be someone who you’re not,
Because evidently, it hurts a lot.
Stop the staring and wishing to be someone that’s not you,
All the unwanted thoughts passing through.
A head filled with endless wants and needs,
Desire for illusions; my helpless heart bleeds.
Stop all the complaining and fuss,
With all the fights, who’s to trust?
You are not inferior to any of thee,
But through those faded pupils, can you see?
Do you notice the world around you?
Or are you too oblivious, so lost, so blue?
Just get over your interrogating feelings of doubt,
Strive beyond your abilities; go all out.
Know what to expect from your actions,
Superior or inferior; the omnipotent fraction.
Simply love yourself and only you,
Forget the haters with nothing better to do.
Handle life’s challenges in a way; a unified manner,
Instead of debating who is tanner.
Live for the moment and appreciate all the love,
You have always received near and above.
Stop fooling with your mind,
Sobbing away till clearly blind.
Let yourself know we all think differently through everything,
That without you it’d be lifeless; all the personality you bring.
We all have the power to try,
Maybe then our minds won’t die.
Try something riveting and new,
Something you are proud to call you.
Stop trying to love thee,
A fool, a coward you would be.
Love yourself above all,
But care for others, and proudly stand tall.
Yes, I said love and not hate,
Break past the open gate.
Express yourself for what you want,
Easing of tensions by détente.
Stop all the excuses and lying,
The unreal attitude you have; the fake crying.
Trapped in portieres,
All the feelings of distrust, how unfair!
So let’s close the portieres of guilt,
And cover up with a nice, warm quilt.
A good night’s rest will do the trick,
For a poor one who’s psychologically sick.
It will help alleviate the pain,
To feel some comfort once again.
Stop hurting yourself and feeling down,
That ashamed, guilty timid frown.
You will learn to love,
And give those unjust feelings a great shove.
So go have fun and smile wide,
Because no matter what, when, where, or why…
Everybody is on your side.

“Help, help!”
Cried a boy in the wings,
A broken heart cannot be fixed,
He pleases he sings.
But he’s left without a clue,
A reason why he’s next to go,
His father takes out his whip,
The boy already knows.
He takes a gander at the long, black whip,
Struggling to make away,
But he’s trapped in his fear and mental agony,
In his father’s den, he stays.
On the count of one,
He stares at him with interrogating eyes,
On the count of two,
He says his last goodbyes,
On the count of three,
He’s no longer here,
His soul peacefully rests with God,
As he sheds one last tear.

I stare out into space,
With too solemn a face.
Envisioning the deceased adjacent to me,
Three pods in a pea.
But they suddenly became relentless and attached,
But still so beautifully matched.
They were clinging onto my neck,
As it gradually became a wreck.
I could no longer see and my face was pale,
Such omniscient spirits and yet me, so frail.
Endless caressing of my face,
Oh, such a disgrace!
I ended up in a place of pure white,
Where there were no longer spirits of the night.

I heard a cry from deep inside,
That told me I had regret.
For the most uplifting person,
And the most considerate yet.
I assumed her to be relentless,
Constant late night calls after ten,
Sleeping with only one eye open,
The ranting and raving in the downstairs den.
But I was irrational and overly critical,
Oblivious to the trauma she endured,
I feel of a shadow to her now,
With still much to explore.
In my younger days,
I’d recognize her at every event I had,
Despite her pain,
She seemed to have always been glad.
Glad she had the opportunity to see me,
Always willing to help me too,
Long walks to the pond,
Her whole life I’d misconstrued.
I wish I could’ve done more,
To help such a creative woman like you,
But I’m ending this poem now,
With these last five words, “Grandma, I truly love you.”

Dear Myself,
I stood atop a hill far from glory,
Wasted away with an everlasting story
I sat and pondered about the meaning of life,
Been through endless pain, anxiety and strife.
I stood atop a hill in my own struggles,
Falling over deeply, in my own puddles.
So I stood atop a hill baffled and afraid,
Of a complicated life I have so beautifully changed.

“Endless Questions”
I don’t quite understand what is happening,
What? What? What?
What did you say?
Where are you?
Words that are tedious,
And last till eternity,
There is no better question,
Than the question of uncertainty.

Two Men,
Traveled into the forest,
Very foolish and wise,
When they came across,
A shoe,
With many lies.
Peter asked Harry,
What they shall do,
They had found an old,
And broken shoe.
When suddenly,
The shoe came alive,
It had gown thick,
And sturdy eyes.
The men were so frightened,
Yet so eager and suspenseful,
They were willing
To know more,
About this little ripped sore.
The shoe opened its mouth,
And only said 3 words,
Fly with birds.
These men were confused,
Very clueless and dumb,
Peter had aimed for a target,
Then spit out his gum.
The shoe spoke again,
“Fly with birds”,
Yet only a fool,
Would follow that,
But they were nerds.
The men ran together; frightened,
Holding the shoe,
They knew what was happening,
They really, really knew.
The men were now lost,
So sorrow and blue,
What was that strong stench?
Could it be the shoe?
At that very moment,
The shoe flied up,
To the birds,
And when he landed with them,
He said, “Hey nerds”.
The men were fooled,
By a clever shoe,
Who knew he’s fly free,
Without any of thee.
Both nerds
Were now speechless,
Yet nowhere to be found,
But then finally decided,
To turn back around.

I went straight to sleep,
My mood,
In good shape,
When all of a sudden,
I had just looked at an ape!
He was about to scratch me,
When I pulled my arm away,
Out of the ordinary,
I had heard the sound,
Nayyy!
It was a horse,
He was going to fall on me,
I had just moved away,
I had shouted out,
“Let me be”!
A man had dropped in,
Smiling in horror,
He had strangely backed away,
Going farther and farther.
Just then,
A tiger jumped in,
He growled at me,
And had bitten me,
Just like a sharp pin.
         “Ouch”!
Some singer from the dead,
Had somehow made me sing,
I now had had her voice,
And it was definitely,
Not a choice.
When suddenly,
There was music,
That blew an eardrum out,
I had felt dead right now,
And had just wanted to shout!
Two identical monsters,
Air standing on my dressers,
All this was stirring,
In my brain,
And I had to let out,
All of the pain.
I had began crying,
And ran--- fast,
When suddenly,
A snake gave me a span.
The snake was made with poison,
And was about to bite me,
When I had yelled,
“Let me free!”
I had awoken,
With a bruised knee.
I had remembered at school,
I had fell
But was no serious injury,
I could compel.
I was relieved,
Yet mainly scared,
What I had just flashed back,
Was a horror nightmare.

Mama you’re the one,
You’re the one to have some fun.
Mama, it’s your day,
Drink plenty of tequila and have it your way.
Sit down and relax mama,
Mi mama Americana.
Mama do I cherish the days,
Of pure bonding, bewilderment and circus Olay.
The aroma of the chicken stir fry,
Oh it enlightens my eyes.
Mama you and your humor,
Comes sooner and sooner.
Mama lets throw a party and invite all,
And not drive Howard up the wall.
Mama this day is all about you,
You have to own this day too.
Mama you’re in complete control,
Look out; mama’s on patrol!
Mama I love you,
And all the laundry and cleaning you do.
Mama, you’re the best,
So sit down and take a rest.
Mama I’m jealous of you’re hair,
And all the fancy clothes you wear.
You inspire me,
Mama’s as vivacious as can be!
So I’ll let you have your drink,
But remember to think….
Love you a ton mama’s,
Now go and shimmy to the Bahamas’s!

On a summer morning,
Monkey had awoken early,
His eyes all sleepy,
And his hair wildly curly.
Swoosh,
He opened the door,
He had to use his mouth,
Because his tail was way too sore.
  Slam,
Monkey shut the door behind him,
His friend Panda,
Was called hungry, hungry Jim.
Monkey was off to work,
His tail dragging on the floor,
He was sure to be back in time,
To feed his family of four.
Although monkey was guilty,
He missed work twice,
Monkey was confidently sure,
His boss would be all nice.
Monkey had walked to the glass,
It said no dogs allowed,
For sure he was a monkey,
He walked in and proudly bowed.
His boss said he had to leave,
For he was not a monkey,
But monkey had explained,
He was very chunky.
The boss escorted his out,
Angry as could be,
For sure he was a monkey,
Can’t his work boss see?
He decided to go food shopping,
At the nearest grocery store,
He wanted to get home quickly,
So his family wouldn’t be that poor.
Monkey walked to the grocery store,
His feet were aching,
It was 10 miles away,
This was a big risk that he was taking.
Monkey got there very fast,
Quick as in running,
It said only monkeys allowed,
Wow that sign was stunning!
Monkey had barged in,
All the monkeys were looking at him,
He was told to get out,
So then he visited his old friend,
Hungry, hungry Jim.
When monkey had arrived,
Jim had told him he was a dog,
So Monkey left ashamed,
In the new deep fog.
Monkey had decided to go home,
And Comfort his 3 young ones,
He’d see his wife,
Oh, he loved them all a ton.
Hungry, Hungry Jim smiled,
As if he was really, really bad,
He decided not to eat him today,
He saw him so sad.
Monkey’s house
Was just around the corner,
It was a pretty color white,
But most of the time,
There was not much light.
He had opened his house door,
So lonely and ashamed,
He was a monkey,
He had claimed.
Monkey flickered on the light,
Nobody was there,
His wife and kids left him a note,
“You are a dog, we could not bear”.
Monkey was so depressed now,
He walked to hungry, hungry Jim’s house
He had tiptoed in,
And was as quiet as a mouse.
Jim had caught him,
And asked why he was not home,
Monkey had explained,
His house is just a comb.
Monkey said his family had left him,
Because he was a dog,
They think I don’t belong,
And am just a plain old hog.
All of a sudden,
The panda ate him whole,
And the only thing that was left,
Was his sad little soul.

I am surely not an artist,
For I can’t paint or draw,
Nor am I a singer,
I sound far from clean and raw.
Geometry is not fun to me,
For I dislike angles and sides,
I will never be an accountant,
Or a phenomenal  surfer,
The fear of high waves and tides.
I will never be a chef,
I can’t cook a simply little meal,
I can’t jazz dance well,
Failure, I sometimes feel.
I am no cartoonist,
I never and will never take drugs,
Vile and grotesque suits them,
I’ve never smoked or drank,
Or put salt on slugs.
I don’t like breakfast,
I loathe being sick,
I dislike unfriendly people,
I am not fond of waking up early,
I don’t like reading long novels,
Nor comprehending difficult ones;
I hate poetry that doesn’t rhyme,
It puts pressure on me, tons.
I am not greedy,
I am not self-centered,
Success if far from what I feel,
This is negativity I’ve now entered.
This is NOT me,
This will never be me,
I am myself and nothing more,
I am difficult as you see.

One's faults in life do not signify something catastrophic,
Nor do they represent tables turned;
One's faults in life are permanent,
But are simply lessons learned.

It was my father who left me,
To discover a place of his own.
Lonely and disheartened I felt,
For a place called "unknown."
Baffled was I,
As to why he suddenly left me.
I trembled alone in fear,
Was I a goner soon to be?
Where have my hopes gone?
Withered away to stone?
Leaving nothing but the past,
For a place called "unknown."
Why do I feel resentment?
My father had a horrifying tone,
Had left me heartbroken,
For a place called "unknown."
My heart beats like thunder,
As I shiver to the bone.
My father ruined me,
For a place called "unknown!"
Where will I go from here?
Too much my father had shown,
A martyr my father will always be,
For a place called "unknown."

I feel as if I'm not as smart as I used to be,
And cannot handle difficult work.

The reason why I'm not happy,
Is that I feel I have nothing to look forward to anymore.

Never give up what you love in life,
Only give up what you hate.

One thing I've learned in my seventeen years,
Is that a good day may just come out of luck,
Or rather the choices you made.
But where a good day actually comes from,
Is in the heart and soul of a positive indivual.
But a bad day,
Could be from bad luck,
Or a certain person.
But where a bad day really comes from,
Is the bleeding heart within hoping for change.

The only problem with moving on from him,
Is that I've kept one thing a secret the entire time,
I look to how unfortunate it is,
That the past can never be erased.

I just want to recieve that letter,
Of acceptance or rejection.

Three words,
Hurtful,
Egotistical,
Cockroach.

The relationship I used to have lasted over a year.
The whole time, it was one sided.
I'm never felt more neglected, hurt, taken advantaged of, and inferior,
Now that I haven't contacted him for two weeks,
And he's begging for attention,
Makes me feel empowered for once.

He texted me last night saying he really misses me.
This was probably after work, but I don't know for sure.
I haven't contacted him in two weeks.
He hurt me and found pleasure in teasing me.
But I'm just confused because he's (ex-boyfriend) still contacting me,
Not like an ex-boyfriend should.
*I'm still going to ignore him because I'm progressively moving on...

He called me last night,
And I was in complete shock,
Because he's just that desperate,
To tease me, exploit me, and irritate me beyond belief.

*Thank God I didn't answer it and haven't spoken to him for a while now.

I ran till I could no more,
Him chasing me step by step,
But I turned around and froze,
He vanished from my life.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo­ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo­ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo­ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo­ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo­ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo­ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo­ooooooooooooooooooo

Had a good day,
And didn't think about the cockroach once!

The perfect guy isn't real,
But a guy who will love you forever is real.

He texted me because he thinks I have feelings for him still,
And figures Oh, alright I'll text her after eight days,
But I'm smarter than that,
Knowing the cockroach doesn't give a **** about me,
I'm going my own way.
See ya!

Holy crap!
He just texted me,
When I was making progress,
Of erasing him completely!

She fell for his love so dear,
Had a mindset of no fear.
They froliced to and fro,
Had never let go.
But suddenly, her instincts told her no,
She had to let go.
Oblivious as a dayfly,
Who sooner or later would cry.
He took her hand asking her to dance,
But had not one meaningful glance.
She cried endless nights,
Never turned out the lights.
He neglected her and did not care,
His presence, she could not bear.
She had to rid of a boy so shrewd,
Never stood up for herself with attitude.
She fell into his trap,
And there's no going back.
He took her by the hand,
And disappeared across the land.
Now she ended it for good,
But he never understood.
How neglected she was, how hurt,
As he took her by the hand,
And left her in the dirt.

You love,
You learn,
You cry,
You burn.

*I know there are still many opportunities to meet different guys (especially in college not too far away)

I wish I had a boyfriend,
Or the chance to meet new guys.
I guess I'll have to wait until college.

I'm missing only one thing from my life;
Love...

I wish I was prettier

She entered the train of sorrow,
and sat down next to a strange man,
Quickly glanced at him, then away,
Only hoping for tomorrow.

I feel important at times,
But I mostly feel worthless and unimportant.
People may say I am worth a lot,
But it's false.
I used to be important,
But now I'm torn apart.
I've been exploited enough to last a lifetime.
My friends are always busy or barely get together with me outside of school,
And I feel studying and school work is all that there is to life now that tennis season is over.
I just want to go to college already,
To get away from a hard life I have always had.

I feel important at times,
But I mostly feel worthless and unimportant.
People may say I am worth a lot,
But it's false.
I used to be important,
But now I'm torn apart.
I've been taken advantaged of to last a lifetime.
My friends are always busy or barely get together with me outside of school,
And I feel studying and school work is all that there is to life now that tennis season is over.
I just want to go to college already,
To get away from a hard life I have always had.

I GOT WORK TONIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!!­!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!­!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD­DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

I miss playing tennis...

I just want to be happy,
Because I haven't smiled for a couple of weeks.

Empty.

Feeling kind of lonely without a boy in my life.

Why the heck did I just unblock him on fb?
I have now hit depression mode.

The **** has moved on,
So I should now too.

I blocked him on fb!

The next time he texts me,
I'm going to text him back something pretty nasty,
To show him how much he's hurt me,
And to make him look like a ******.

I was doing so well not texting him for 10 days despite him texting me,
Then I blew it and texted him yesterday.
Now I have to start all over again,
And this time I'm considering never texting him again.
I hate him with all my might,
He's so selfish and likes to take control.
I hate him,
Simple as that.

I don't need a man to warm me up;
I just need something significant to happen,
To make me a much happier, healthier person.