White snow, white lights, happy smiles
Brown mud, mismatched lights, sad eyes
Trees lose their colors, but not their beauty
People lose their money, but not their soul
Cold grass, warm socks
Happy people, sad people

In certain minds
There is a love confined
For only joy
And sights to see,
Amusing friends
And plans to be,
But I am caught
And tangled taut
To pay a priceless fee.

We want much more.
A simple scour within
To find that wrecked
And torn, that screaming
Heart of darkness.
We lay it out
To eat or smoke,
To stab or stress,
And so we love
What that can do
To damage us.

"What?" question asked,
"Why must you continue?
A curious thing,
That.
How can you love
What you hate?"

Nothing explains
The strength of holes.
The ones we dig
To love ourselves.
We'll never be
What our dreams
Had always wanted,
But I guess we'll have to settle
For a little
Satisfaction.

Had I ever thought that I could
Be this way?
To be torn by ever loss and fails.
A willing kind of hit
Across my face.
Only ever to make sure
That I'll always be
The last one in the race.

So to make sure that I'll keep ahead
I will take my stares
To another place,
Where blank walls will be read
And I can move at my pace,
Where all directions are gone
And only I to die instead
With something inside
But not a love confined.

Leaf in the white soft snow,
Covered in cold, hiding from me,
So brittle and told to be gone by your tree
And now you lay here poking out to see.

Jealousy
Is not a hatred
Of another
And their possessions

Jealousy
Is a hatred
Of one's self
For lacking
Something
That another has

I am jealous of her
Because your friendship with her
Is easy
Simple
The way we used to be
I hate myself
Because I cannot
Be that good
To you
Or for you
And I'll never forgive myself for it