I speak from my heart, and the heart speaks true
But my soul that rejoices at your voice, at you
And I see upon your smile, a million memories stored in it
A million words, a million kisses
Is  it enough? no, not yet...
But I wish this distance to disappear
Let down your defenses, come near.

And as you do, you will hear the beat
Of a heart longing to move and dance with it's feet
And in the whirl of chaos and music inside
It prides upon saying, finally..."You're mine"

I stand here lost
wondering what I've done
to make others
despise me

I think back to
the mistakes I've made
the fights I've fought
and my chaotic life

What have I done
I'm so obscure
cause they say I'm innocent
but they treat me like the opposite

It seems like I get blamed
for doing what the crowd does
for following my own beliefs
what am I supposed to do

I'm the definition
of what people desire to be
yet I feel like
I'm unwanted

the worst part is
I'm not sure what I'm doing
all I know is that
*I'm ******* up

Music I heard with you was more than music,
And bread I broke with you was more than bread;
Now that I am without you, all is desolate;
All that was once so beautiful is dead.

Your hands once touched this table and this silver,
And I have seen your fingers hold this glass.
These things do not remember you, beloved,--
And yet your touch upon them will not pass.

For it was in my heart you moved among them,
And blessed them with your hands and with your eyes;
And in my heart they will remember always,--
They knew you once, O beautiful and wise.

I'm thankful for God
I'm infinitely blessed
And without Him
I'd have no strength

I'm thankful for my family
They're my pillar in this world
My support system
My purpose

I'm thankful for my dog
I've never known such an unconditional love
My dog is my light
An extension of me

I'm thankful for my friends
The ones that have my back
And tell me the truth
We laugh together, think together
Expanding our minds

I'm thankful for the boy
Who gives me his whole heart
Says I'm his saving grace
He makes me feel worthy
Of the world

I'm thankful for my university
The thing that gives me hope
Makes me feel like I have direction
And a fighting chance in this society

I'm thankful for the mistakes
For they taught me how to grow
And better myself
Be the real me

I'm thankful to those who have wronged me
The liars, players, cheaters, and users
They've shown me what I really deserve
And what not to tolerate

I'm thankful for nature
Where I find peace in solitude
The flowers, the sun, the moon, and stars
They're my guide to faith and positivity

Lastly,
I'm thankful for my poetry
Even though I'm not the best
It's given me a place to express myself
When I had no where else to go

One cut
Two cuts
Three cuts
Four always desperate for one slash more.
Five pills, six pills, seven, now eight
Some meant for sleep
Some made to lose weight
One eye closes
The other to follow
Hoping this time it’ll work
Her breath becomes hollow
She drops to the floor
As her hands uncurl
Welcome to the life of a suicidal girl

What is more deadly?
A gun or a thought
A gun gives you the opportunity
But the thought pulls the trigger

My darlings pull your sleeves down
No one has to know
With all the pain you’ve gone through
Your scars don’t have to show
With cuts and scratches and tears
You death is nearly here
Blood stained towels cover the floor
Everyone’s hoping you’ll walk out the door
Throw up honey you’re to fat
Blame your cuts on the cat
Sliding a blade across your skin
Getting sick to be thin

Fake smile
Dried eyes
Scratched wrists
Bruised thighs

White pills
Rope tied
Gun loaded
*Suicide

It is no coincidence
that the happiest
people

are also
the most
beautiful