This emptiness inside me...

How it seems to grow
From a whisper to a scream…

From a shadow to a night unending…

Crying out for change
For something temporary
To fill the void between now and forever
Even though I know…

Temporary will only feed the emptiness
And merely pacify the pain of loneliness…

Not only for me...

But for another

Is it wrong to want someone to hold
To want someone to hold me
To chase away each other’s darkness
In companionship and calm
In passion and compassion
In mutual understanding and desire
Knowing it will only be temporary
Until we each find our forever?

Maybe…

Maybe not…

All I know is this:

Every time what seemed to be my forever
Turned out to be only temporary...

The emptiness grew more fiercely...

Instantaneously...

And the nights grew longer…

Loneliness became more lonely…

My heart more broken

And if I can curse the sky…

Curse my name…

Knowing how much harder it will be…

How can I condone…

How can I expect…

How can I allow…

How can I ask anyone for temporary
No matter how much it may appeal to either of us...

Temporarily?

If I know it would do more to destroy love
Than to create love…

Why does temporary even appeal to me at all at times?

Because…

Sometimes…

Temporary feels like forever

But…

Temporary always ends

No matter how long it takes…

Temporary always ends

So…

No matter how long the nights…

No matter how long the wait…

No matter how lonely loneliness may seem…

I wait...

Though the emptiness inside me grows...

No matter how loud the whisper...

No matter how silent the scream…

I will wait for my forever
Because this pain is only temporary
And temporary always ends…

Even when it feels like forever

These memories are winter's ache
My mind is piled snow
Ice shatters like pure heart break
Though still I cannot let go

These memories are oceans deep
My body drowned in wine
Never been so hard to sleep
Without you there to say you're mine

These memories are clouds of smoke
They linger all around
Fills my lungs with words you spoke
And happiness I once had found

An imagined love, has a mind of its own
It strives for life, giving breath unto itself
Masterfully weaving the silver threads of fantasy
Deep into the pockets of reality

You keep saying things like sweet and salty
Can you really taste this life
Will you take me out in the morning
I imagine you, waking up in a white room
White sheets, t’s and p’s
I can see you smiling as you stare out your window
Onto a thumb green forest, deep under cover, snow