Raindrops falling on the bare chest
the Chest falling with each step
as he slowly approaches his bike

The loneliness hits hard
and stays stinging
The raindrops now hit the chest harder
and harshly

But its alright
Pain is better when physical
than mental

Now the raindrops fall faster
and become a never ending torrent
he gets drenched with no dry spot anymore
Hail and snow also make their appearance known
and lifes a mess

I slept last night
With no thoughts on my mind
Because its the easiest method to sleep
But as i dreamt of castles,
Of suburbs, of theaters
Of other relationships
(Of other people)
It brought this revelation
That WHAT if.

What if:
We were next to each other
When we woke up
My face would turn red like a tomato
And i would just start laughing
Because of the realization that
I'm with the person I love

What if:
We would talk for hours on an end
And fill up the memories on iPhones
And our minds with talks of gossip
Talks of science, talks of hangouts
Your friends would envy it so much
They would become angry at us

What if:
We were together in the school
Holding hands and the people knowing
That we are together
It would be so **** amazing
For me, knowing I did it
I ventured into unknown and came back
Victorious

What if:
We walked home everyday
Sat together on the bus
Those little things which people say
Have no significance will never fathom
The signficance the little things have
Because little things make something big

I truly cannot fathom the beauty
The joy, the love
That I would feel from someone
Who isn't a family member
But someone else, who genuinely loves me
For what I am
I will be so proud to say
"I did it! I braved through!"

If only this were true.

Your heart is big
its spreading
its powerful

Your charm is an even bigger device
it grapples onto people
it pulls them in

It has strength
You have power
but you have self-hatred
and your love is infectious
and people already like you
and i would rather not disturb that

I already did enough harm
don't want to start a wildfire
they are powerful too
but you are better
and will find someone
just as powerful as you