my darling,
there is nothing
i can offer
but what's inside my hollow ribs --
a paper heart filled with words
so endless,
yet
so easily burns.

please,
don't go,
no,
not yet.
not just yet.

i still carry so many regrets,
so many things i have yet to confess.

my chest is still filled with buried apologies,
ones i meant to press
at the palm of your hands,
and into the hollows of your heart.

i meant to patch up whatever i broke,
tore apart and ultimately destroyed,
but in the end,
there was nothing i could do
to end the pain,
yours and mine.

since then i have not mustered the strength
to stand again,
when i had already fallen to my knees.

you once tried to reach me,
but i was irreparable,
i could not be saved.
i tried to let go of all the love
you once had for me
and now,
i've created ghosts from our memories.

you once tried to heal me from my sufferings,
but i only inflicted more wounds,
even on you.
i could not find a way to love you,
without wrecking everything.

in case you're wondering,
no,
i don't expect you to forgive me
i don't expect you to love me again.

but please,
don't go just yet.
i cling on to so many regrets still.

i am sorry, i am sorry,
i am sorry.

if you do decide to leave,
tread slowly, my love and my dear.

give me a chance and room to breathe,
before you walk away
for i do not know when i ever will again.

desolation comes in
with such heedless grace.
please,
allow me to memorize your face
one last time, before you turn away.

i won't ask you to stay this time,
but i'll ask you to hold on,
just for a moment,
one more moment,
before you're truly gone.

let me steal a souvenir,
a memory,
before i set you free.

with you,
so too goes my words,
my letters,
my poetry.

i am not ready to say goodbye.
i will never be ready to say goodbye.

but oh,
even the ink has to dry.

little by little
i saw your fire dying.
i kept looking at your direction,
kept igniting myself,
whilst i ignored the fact that you voluntarily allowed yourself
to cool down,
and be doused.

what happened to our fire, baby?
you told me you'd love me not until the stars die,
but until they fade into nothing but darkness.
a scenario that wasn't going to happen,
not in our lifetime anyway.
but here i am, my hearth and my love,
still burning so feverishly for you.
whilst yours died,
reduced to ashes,
blown away.


tell me,
what happened to our fire, baby?

my friend,
you belong to the sun, I say.
come to the light,
and bask in the goodness of life
in all its beauty and colors.

but you stay in your corner,
and tell me,
but I cannot outgrow my suffering

you could not hold love
without destroying it,
piece by piece
attacking it at its wake .

you tell me you are nothing without your despair
you are at home in the wreckage
and that perhaps,
you belong in all the messes you have made.

your peace only comes when your memory starts to fade,
and the ghosts of your past return to their graves.

you've never seen yourself as someone that could be saved,
for you have surrendered yourself
and have fallen on your knees, arms to your side
begging to be taken away.

you tell me to understand when you say,
there is nothing worth fighting for left in me

and i do, my friend.

i know you struggle to tell yourself that you belong in the sun,
in the light, and deserve all the good things in life

but i also know you do not feel at home in the garden.
you are their loss,
you belong in the wilting.

if there's one thing i'm sure of
it is that
i will always be waiting,
and
if there's one thing everyone around me is sure of
is that
you will never come,
but that has never stopped me,
no one has ever stopped me,
and i fear i'll never be able to stop myself.

i am a running wraith,
your unwanted apparition,
the phantom that relentlessly
walks the lonely road,
and you are the home,
I killed myself to haunt.

only you can make someone as logical and smart as i,
believe in a futile scenario.
the probability of you,
running towards me,
giving us a chance,
is as much odds i have of being in space
during my lifetime.

you see,
i've never dreamt of being an astronaut,
or had a fleeting thought unto seeing the wonders of the galaxy.
however, that changed with you.
now, all i can think of
are all the infinite ways i can swear
the universe,
the stars and all its might,
are playing a role in this
and how i want to see what's beyond this world,
to justify how i feel like you are a wonder,
more than the moon, stars and the sun combined.

i can probably describe to you how the moon shined
so much brighter during the nights i spent up speaking to you or
i could explain to you why the stars feel like they're finally aligning,
and on the day i finally see you,
it will have aligned to lock us in an embrace
that will cause any stars and cosmos to pale in comparison
to the explosions in the sky we will produce.

the stars,
that which i mocked, saying
"i'll never believe in something predestined,"
and indeed it was something i never quite believed in,
until you.
it had to be you.