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Kristina Jul 2015
It's like a ringing in my ear.

I'm stupid

Ringing through my ear and
Silence is a choking cough pushing to get out.
I need the drumming electronic waves
to deathen my body.

For I took my regular pill of
Self pity today.
It kicks in with its usual velocity
and I lay down mesmerized by its tranformation of the world.

I fear that when I open my eyes
He is not the same.
That his too rough strokes pulling my hair and
His semi sweaty hand on my face
that smells a hint of balony
is all just
Make belief.

How many times was fantasy a
Maybe it finally consumed my reality
Since this must be some kind of
This life of misery
With somebody here with me.
i feel like i shouldn't be here
or shouldn't be thinking in an
era where thinking makes you all
different and all that stuff.

because of this, i needed more
than ten fingers to count
how many times i've had
these vague conversations
with myself
discussing things that
non-thinkers wouldn't last
a second to spare to even try to
make a whim out of it with
the likes of me

i don't need everyone to agree
with all what i have in mind
but it seems that this tranformation
my slightly unfortunate
youth donated is making me
all weary
and the conversations i had
with myself is making me all

being accepted in your
natural ways is a myth
hell, the best example
is how these local band people
always act and think you should please
them 'cause of their rockstar bull
and that they do something out of
the common
well they are all narcissists to me

and these idealists are miles
away from the actualities
so there's really no way to find
a way to get out of this cycle

it's the 'nobody notices it'
part of the spark that angers
me during some occasions
when i'm having a chat with
myself that brings me to
a state of being upset
for nothing
like a teenager's angst
that leads me nowhere
but more realization
of how lonely i get.
no edit. too sleepy. cliche.
Robert Rittel Aug 2019
In the infinite ocean of light above the world,
the epp and tide of consciousness unfold.
Where ignorance and liberation in elemental forces struggle,
the inertia of life with it its tenaciously fears, desires and miracle.
The same awakening forces extend into the matrix of potencies,
for all redemption and bliss of eternities.
The shallow region are the domain of manipulative Titans severe, mythology in its universal language must be there.
In the depth of lights and and concentrated dignities of true vision, aspiring tranformation changes the chaos to enlighten decission. The de-evolutionary force in ever confilct with the ascending evolution,
the warring and complementary strain of divine conclusion.
The day and night in different Devas light,
and many hues of characters twilight in its unique of might.
Robert Rittel Aug 2019
The multiverse in the individual persona,                                     synchronocity in the spectrum of the sun corona.
Images and circumstance that come from distant light,
when everything disminished the rationality I fight.
The path in me wants to be free,
pointing me to the story in advance to be.                                             The spirit light from other dimensions creating the frame,
fearing that Iam no more the convenient same.                            
The phantom of destiny in dreams,                                                
images of the impossible where ever I look it seems.                
Ghostly desires for sure unless fulfilled,                                 
impossible contentment by questions milled.                                    
The pcychic spoke of tranformation in gestalt,                            
the dharmic conclusion by occult.                                              
Planetary periods is the Astrologers advice,                               
Saturns gift to become wise.                                                          
Choices­ where are none,                                                                  ­       
and Destiny smiles at me and I can hear her say:                  
   "You got nowhere to run"

— The End —