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NOLWAZI JOUBERT Feb 2016
You could have warned me and told me not to be in you life,
But you failed.

You knew that one day,
Just one day I would want it all out.
The truth about you and I
Yet you were courageous for you knew that no one would believe me.

I was just too young and guillible.
I let you toil and tosse me around and I enjoyed every moment.

The pain I felt when you penetrated me was nothing but a challenge to me,
I always called myself a tough girl,
One that could stand all pain.

You took advantage of silence,
A great secret keeper I always was.
You told me that I would lose my dignity if I ever dared to break a promice.

You made me promice that I wouldn't tell.
And with some little priceless candy bars you always knew how to keep
my mouth shut until this day

This specific moment that I have woken up from a fairy tale of pain, suffering,
Brutality
And abuse.
I am ashamed of my childhood days,
And all the silly little confidence I had.

What kind of a stupid game was I playing with an old man when my peers were playing with dolls.
Now I see you behind bars and all that comes in my mind is "God curse that monster"
While then I called you my best friend.

Now that i have over grown the trauma and pain.
I have not over grown the hate of all man that take advantage of little girls like you did.
I promice you that when you die,
I will spit on your grave,
And this is one promice I am not going to break.
Never been ***** or under any form of such trauma, I just felt like challenging myself by fitting myself in a victim's shoes and this is what I came up with.
Yet my intentions for even writing this poem began with me in my broken emotions. But eventually I decided not to be selifish.
AYA 187  Aug 2013
my nest
AYA 187 Aug 2013
We speak a languege only we understand from the day your hand found my hand our love is not difficult to understand but cannot be explained, you know all my secrets and I know yours, no lies no secrets and no wars afraid to fall yes I am                                      Fall for you no I am not.                                  I explained to you my fears you comforted me assured me I had nothing to worry about she was diffrent she made no promices but her voice sounded like promice itself I flanged my insecurities hoping she would head for the heals but she stayed and she was going nowhere. She told my wounds were fresh and that they needed to heal and she would nature me through my pain and hope that one day I,ll give her a chance to prove to me she she's diffrent.                                                                     She never asked me to trust her but I did   She never asked me to love her yet I did     And Despite all the significant others she signified me. She was my home, my nest, my den, my cradle  where I found peace from the vultures who tried to devour my meat but most importantly the reason why I loved with everything I had was because she sighed when I had to go                        She frowned wen I left                                 She cried when I was gone                        She smiled when I retured.                           If you find anyone who goes through this emotional rollercoaster for you grab her with both arms and never let her go..........
AYA 187  Aug 2013
my nest
AYA 187 Aug 2013
We speak a languege only we understand from the day your hand found my hand our love is not difficult to understand but cannot be explained, you know all my secrets and I know yours, no lies no secrets and no wars afraid to fall yes I am                                      Fall for you no I am not.                                  I explained to you my fears you comforted me assured me I had nothing to worry about she was diffrent she made no promices but her voice sounded like promice itself I flanged my insecurities hoping she would head for the heals but she stayed and she was going nowhere. She told my wounds were fresh and that they needed to heal and she would nature me through my pain and hope that one day I,ll give her a chance to prove to me she she's diffrent.                                                                     She never asked me to trust her but I did   She never asked me to love her yet I did     And Despite all the significant others she signified me. She was my home, my nest, my den, my cradle  where I found peace from the vultures who tried to devour my meat but most importantly the reason why I loved with everything I had was because she sighed when I had to go                        She frowned wen I left                                 She cried when I was gone                        She smiled when I retured.                           If you find anyone who goes through this emotional rollercoaster for you grab her with both arms and never let her go..........
NOLWAZI JOUBERT Sep 2015
It was you i had sworn to love,
you that i forever cared for,
thinking of you brought a smile on my face.
It was you that i had forever thought you'd be my lover.

Now you are a rap addict,
rushing to the studio everyday,
your priority is to hit the jackpot in the music industry,
your dressing has changed,
and so have your mantality and speech.

I loved that angelic you,
but since you never realised,
you pushed me away till i am where i am today,
i promice to be still your friend,
but not the lover you need,
youv gone for the looks that most girls admire,
am sure it will win you a dozen of them.

I am too boring,
yet you too noisy,
angelic never suited you anyway since all you ever wanted to do was fit in.
To my ex, who deceived me with good looks that were so pure, while all he was, was a rap monster (addict) that he is today.

— The End —