All I can think to do at the table
is stare at the bright orange Reeses'
cups package and the Payday
bars illuminated by light
from the vending machine. I sit,
wondering whether they drip

inside their package. My arm drips
to my pocket. I bring money to the table,
ready to decide just what is it
that I want to buy. I prefer Reeses',
but it's been long since I've tasted the light
caramel and crunchy peanut of a Payday.

This decision would be easy if I had a Payday.
As it stands, my money is dripping.
If it's any indication of how light
my wallet is, I can barely bring one back to the table.
It's a tough decision. I've been craving Reeses'
for weeks. I haven't decided, but this is it.

I walk up to the machine. I'm done sitting,
It's a question of this or that. Payday?
Heads. I reach in my pocket. Tails, Reeses'.
I manage the quarter out. How could I know I'd rip
a dollar in the process? Back to the table
for damage control. The tear was light

enough not to be serious, just a slight
rip. It's easier to flip a coin while you sit
anyway. I toss it in the air and it lands on the table.
Heads. I smiled, my decision was made. Payday.
I walk back to the machine and drop
coins in, not making eye contact with the Reeses'.

As I get up, I feel terrible. I've betrayed the Reeses'
cups I've enjoyed since I was a child, the delight
that kept me going when there wasn't a drip
of tea left. I think I'll go downstairs to sit
and eat my new sugary master, the Payday.
This time I pass by, not return to, the table.

I look back, past the table, at the orange Reeses'
packages, then glance at my Payday. It's light,
I won't have to sit to eat it. Ashamed, my eyes drip.

tootsie pops, pop rocks, rock candy
sweet tarts, smelly farts, war-heads, sour patch kids
reeses pieces, reeses stix, snickers lickers
fudge pile, chocolate smile, peanut butter bile, sugary style
baby ruths, almond joys, soy bean sauce, creamy steam
ill give u a payday, mayday, hay tastes good with parfai
milkyways stay gay to play games with sunrays
icing splicing with knife dicing
makes cakes, cook steaks, rumcakes
****** sprinkles, rip van winkle, diddily dinkle
gummy worms, germs impregnate firm, permed urns
angel food, carrots, pineapple upsideways
fruits, *****, parachutes, scooters, jello shooters
goobers, corn on the cobbers,
veggie wedgies, pepper leppers, squash boxes,
fry foxes, fleet rocks', carrot tops',
dishes of fishes,
witches brew platypus and fat kush
pushy slushies riding skateboards on gary busy
fussy hussies getting blushy about cussies
cereal made of creoles, bread straight from dreads,
rice is nice with spice, yeast is beast,
last but not least, wheat is a treat,
kiwis, shmiwis, dodos on go phones, starfruits,
bartlejuice, grape drank, sushi stinks.
ill eat anything.

If I were a chocolate bar, life with you would be so sweet
Being around you, I feel like quite a treat
Gotta love Hershey's: the kisses and hugs
And on Valentine's Day combine with Doves
Like Reeses or S'mores, we compliment one another
Flowers, wine, and chocolate for a significant other
If I were a chocolate bar, life could be Grand
Although on a hot day, I'd melt a little faster than planned....
As a chocolate bar I'd be broken and shared
Spreading gooey goodness to everyone there
Maybe being a chocolate bar isn't quite for me...
... But it's fun to imagine just how it might be!

I spent over a hundred dollars
just on chocolate
for her
last year

every once in a while
i'd surprise her
with one of those organic peanut butter bars
she liked

i'd buy em from aldriches
during photography
or video productions

never told her where i got them
because they gave her something
to depend on me for

i never tasted a single bit of that chocolate
i haven't been aldriches in months

and i haven't gotten one of those thankful hugs
since that last one
in july
that was half kiss, half hug
and less thankful, more lovestruck
but also silent, tear filled, melancholy, foreboding

that was after i bought her reeses,
the only time e ever went to qfc together

i don't buy chocolate anymore
i've saved alot of money lately

but i've lost so many hugs,
avoid half this town
and no one relying on me like that

she was my life
it's time for a new one



©Brandon Webb
2012

Sprites fly through the living room
they glow green with magical dust sprinkles.
One lands on the end of my moms broom.
She blows it a kiss and it flys away.

Brownies climb the desk with little ropes
they sneak off with my reeses pieces
but they leave behind a bag of hopes
that I'll be a famous poetess someday.

Faerys are real, they just hide really good.
If you believe in them sometimes you get to see them.
If you go for walks in the woods
you might get to see faerys play.

"Hm", the girl says in your bed.
Red wine and yummy chocolate - what a great mix
Moving and grooving to the beat of the music
Oh, la la.
A pleasant smell in the air, flowing, in and out into me
Colors of your blankets, subtle navy blue, velvet red (you might disagree)

Reeses, what a treat! Something devils would eat
Talking food, one of my pleasures, Ethopian - I want to eat!
Let me speak for Ravenswood, it treats me well and keeps
me toasty!
And Juanita's, Fiesta bag, crispy not too greasy
Crunchy in my mouth, mmm!
An offering of a chip with special sauce, thank you sir!'
Sauce man, confidence

He says he had heart problems
The consequences of the pleasures of food
"I need to end it but I don't know how to"
"It'll come to you"

Your roommate,
Sid

This is the thing about mothers.

They’re a blanket for so long. They make the best pumpkin bread and they do your hair too poofy and littlekiddish and they’re the ones you should avoid when you want to ask for something like going back outside after dinner or getting Reeses in the checkout line at the car wash. They teach you the harmonies to stuff like You Are My Sunshine and Amy Grant and they have the prettiest voices that sound like falling asleep with the window open. They’re M-O-M and that’s the only title, that’s it, so Mary or Baby or Somebody’s Ex or Daughter or Crazy seem foreign and wrong wrong wrong. You want to correct the speaker- Her name is MOM.

Then that day happens- you both give a real, genuine belly laugh at something. The same something. It’s startling and you like it but you hate it sometimes. Because you laugh more and more, and soon you’re getting Cranberry Limeades after the 8th grade play practice together everyday like best buds and she starts saying kind of bad words (like ****** and ****) that sound like she swallowed something wrong or they tasted bad (at least to you), and it reminds you of when you used to play “who can go the highest on the swingset,” and you tried to be brave but you had that feeling one day someone would accidentally go all the way over. And you keep on tripping over all these laughs that keep bumping you closer to her age and it’s like she’s coming closer to yours, too. And then some of those names people always called them start to maybe make a little more sense. Maybe they do look a little like a Mary, a little, only when they’re telling a story.
See, be careful though, because this is where things get tricky. Mary and Mom live inside the same body, and separating them out is dangerous because you’ll start to run out of room. When they go from Mrs. to Miss, for example, and their last name changes and is different from yours- you have to make sure you can still fit Miss inside that one little body. And worse, when the others start to use words like Crazy or Lost, who aren’t allowed in the same zip code much less body as names like Mom and Hunny pretty soon you’ll forget who you’re talking to and when you’re talking to Mary about your “first time” then Mom steps in the whole dynamic shifts and Daughter speaks up to say too much about Grammy’s drinking and Crazy leaves dad and stops making sense altogether with words like “new” and “change” and
“own person”.


So when they call to ask if you got the Valentines flowers, tell her they were beautiful and tell her you miss her, cause Mom sent those. And if you keep them on the line long enough and they talk about their fight with their sister or some thick, sticky gossip they overheard, it’s Mary, so respond accordingly. But they aim their fakesmilevoice at you (that’s just for the phone and church) and talk about “trying something new” or feeling like you’re the only one they can “bounce ideas off of”, clench your jaw and “mhm” and lay down so the tears don’t fall out. Cause sometimes Crazy just needs to wear herself out so that M-O-M can say she loves you, she’s so, so sorry and she misses you dearly. And that we’re gonna get through this, baby, we’re strong.

When you hang up, you’re allowed to cry some. That’s fine. Then you write a letter you don’t send (don’t dare, it’d **** her) and ask a few of them, gently, to move out.

I'm glad we made the uniting
Life without it unexciting
I love you so much
Almost like a crutch

Chocolaty cup filled
With peanut buttery goodness
What a dream

But wait there's more
The first has a partner
Another sweet addition

You can have it
On one condition
Let's be like Reeses

~SPANISH HUGGZ
Years of denial and anguish
Have succumbed my emotions
Nights full of loneliness
Days in total darkness
Tear drops fallen
Unspeakable pain
Heart wrenching thoughts
When will it End

The lies I still heart
The pain I still feel
The blood I still taste
The bruises I still see
Oh when will it end

I'm down,
Hit rock bottom
Stepped on like dirt
Thrown aside like garbage

I won't stay down
I refuse
I don't deserve this
I will stand once again
I need to find my inner peace
I need to find my strength

I'm stronger than this
I can rise once again
I can find my light again
No more self hatred
This is the End
I WILL RISE

~REBEL OF EDEN
And my shadow was his blanket
like the silver spoon in his mouth
the reeses he bit like a beast
and the milk was smooth to his lips
he drank of my soul down south
my curtains he swayed openly
where light had shed on his eyes
yet against my will he drank
of my wine he licked, my lips down low as if the candy store were miles away
I pushed and cried and tried to brush his mannish longing off of me
tried closing my curtains for calming thoughts and dulled razor blades
I can't put down the damage denied to have erased
beneath or upon my skin sizzle in teeth marks of the beasts
mirrors, blasted into pieces shared
for every man who stuck me
and every mark of the beasts only turned to memory
that I am allowed now
to forget and never repeat
and in wake, the curtains lay open for a new day
and this time, the curtains are the ones on my window, and not mines
.. I WILL RISE.

~JENNIE SULRZYCKI (Poetess Starr)
The dark grey skies
Consumed me
The tears in my eyes
Confused me.
My legs gave way
Collapsed
There I lay....
But death surely refused me!

On my back I laid
As regret
pricked my spine.
Daydreams
of nightmares
Poisoned my mind....
What have I done
with this life of mine!?

A small frightened girl
Cried out in the dark space,
I don't know her voice
I couldn't see her face...
Anxiety and anguish
Caused my heart to race!

In the shadows of the dark
Her silhouette
Shined bright...
Like thunder,
she spoke with authority...
"FIGHT!!!"

Slowly and wearily
I stood to my feet.
This little girl
This little person
She's the inner me!

No where left
To fall to from here
Nothing left
To fear....
But fear.

Calling upon my God
I remember!
His love is generous
His mercy,
Lasts forever!

The pains of this world,
Were placed here
for me.
To strengthen
my faith.
To set me free!

I will not be oppressed!
I refuse to be depressed!
This stress....
Just a test.
To prepare me
For what's next!
All the anxiety,
Laid to rest...
Finally realized the power
I possessed!
No longer feel cursed,
I know I am blessed!

I am stronger
Than this!
I'm my own person,
Not his!
Tired of receiving
His fist!
Look out baby,
I'm ******!

I opened my eyes,
Cleared the tears
I had cried.
A new chapter
In life.
No longer a victim
to the lies.
I WILL RISE!!!