Hes not that bad I say
On my knees again his friends laugh
Hes not that bad I say
He yells at me for a minor thing I did
Hes not that bad I say
When he calls me stupid
Hes not that bad I say
smaller portion for me he says I'm fat
Hes not that bad I say
When he raise a hand to me (I flinch)
Hes not that bad I say
Split lip cracked ribs
Hes not that bad I say
When hes calling other girls
Hes not that bad I say
When I leave and he says he loves me
Hes not that bad I say
I think I can fix him
Hes not that bad I say
No means no and he does it anyway
Hes not that bad I say
When he holds my hand my fingers are broken
Hes not that bad I say
When I've called the police again
(just a misunderstanding)
Hes not that bad I say
When his hands leave my throat
Hes not that bad I say
I get flowers and I rasp I love them
Hes not that bad I say
When I pull the trigger

There was a man named Adam,
Went to prison for violent crimes.
Came out wanted to start a new life,
Got himself a good wife.
Planned on having good kids, strong kids
The best athletes,
Play in sports with competetion so high they bleed.
Little warriors.

Everyone see's Adam now.
He's successful, they dont know hes gone to prison,
They dont know if hes even hurt a fly
Hes so peaceful people dont even ask why,
He knows so much about the streets,
Hes street smart,
People are impressed that he can help.
He can defend his friends,
His family,
But the sad thing is,
It takes full control of himself,
And though its been 5 years
Since the last time he was locked up
He still thinks of himself
As that animal,
He feels when people look at him
They can see the truth behind his eyes.
They say:
There's something wrong with this
Guy,
He's got lies I know he does.

The stigma traps him and follows him throughout college,
He has a degree,
he's won awards for best employee,
Works fulltime makes enough money
To bring food to the table,
Put his kids in sports
Buy the car of the year for his wife,
Every year.
Sick paint job,
Hes at the top.

But nobody knows,
That hes worked so hard,
So many times hes fought,
To keep his head from sinking
Underwater.
Theres days he feels like letting himself
Sink,
And just give up,
But its not him its not in his genes.
So many times he wants to let his
Old self take over.

His brothers died,
One after another,
Same spot, same place, same way,
In their sleep
Cold as concrete,
In his heart it stings
But he holds back the tears.
He goes to their funeral,
He leaves to the parki
His wife Bety says
Adam, you need to get up
We cant stay here
You're crying on the floor with cars
Passing by,
Youre too heavy to carry,
Youre starting to scare me
Dont give up on life
I know it hurts
I know they were close
I know they're your blood
And you'd do anything to hug
The two of them again
We can visit their grave
I know it's not the same
Dont put yourself at blame,
You need to claim your manliness once again,
Snap out of it no pain lasts forever.

He now is back to work,
Back to grinding
Neverminding
Avoiding all the wreck and sighing
Denying the fact hes hurt,
He goes back to work
Pretends nothings happened
Because he has a hidden reputation to keep,

Let the tea steep,
Dont be thinking about going
Back to drinking the lean
Or smoking the ****,
Dont even think about starting to chug
On the liquor that makes your brain thicker
It will be harder for you to think straight

At this rate hes telling his conscience that he no longer wants to listen,
He sees his winnings
All over his wall in the office
He has.
Its meaningless to him,
He thinks over and over again
On multiple occasions
One day hes batting them down
Smashing them
Contemplating
Whether he wants to start his life
Over or he wants to end it
Ruin it, thats a tempt
But God sent him here to complete
A mission.
And its not to spread religion.
Or tell people they're going to hell.

Snap out of it.

He goes back to work the next morning,
Forgets about everything,
Moment he walks through the
Door hes all smiles
But this time its half a smile,
His eyes dont smile along with his mouth,
Barely showing his teeth,
He knows somethings wrong,
And its creeping up on him.

Sits at home, feels like his wife has
Disappeared.
But shes here,
Somewhere up stairs.

Next day goes to work,
Realizes he hasnt been giving his wife or kids the attention they need,
Do they understand that even after
10 years he still thinks about
His two brothers?

Goes home sits down,
Instead of fixing all his problems
He drowns in them with a bottle of absolut.

Next day, wakes up,
Goes to work,
Hungover
Man why did I even do that.
Hide it.
Focus.
Smile.
Say hi.

Goes home,
This time sits in his car for hours,
He notices the distance,
Hes going further and further.
Lights up a cigarette,
Its been years since he's had one.
Thinks about his brothers,
Lets go of the thought.
Goes inside his house lays in bed,
And his wife complains of the smell.