******
A word I have heard a thousand times
A thousand different ways
But has always sounded the same,
Like ignorance

A word that has never left me feeling worthless
Or unloved
Just misunderstood

Even when followed by being thrown into the bathroom stall of a Girl's gym  locker room
Or by the few friends I had left helping me clean up my battered face and the hide the bruises

I have always been proud of the term ****** because even though it was said to be offensive
I was being acknowledged as me

But when the word was spilled by the woman who once rocked me to sleep till I was no longer scared
The woman who has always protected me
It was then that all the pain I ever should have felt
Took a hold of my heart and ran it up to my throat until the pain leaked from my eyes
I was angry
I was sad
And I was scared
Because I knew that word was always followed by violence
And I didn't think that I would be able to walk with my head held high from this one
My face turned red and my blood turned cold and I watched my father defend me
Finally I stopped him and I looked at her
And I said yes, but I'm your ******

It's 5:30. You're just getting up

I'm not just getting up, I've BEEN up. I'm just in my underwear.

You better start eating,
(******)
You're lookin mighty skinny,
(******)
You better hope you don't have any DISEASES
******.

eye roll. walk away.
Why does he feel the need to tell me what time it is
every time I see him?
and how horrific and
skinny I look.
I don't have any diseases
I guess he wouldn't believe that
after all I am
a ******.

I can see his Liver in my Mind
Engorged
Disgust
Gallons of the purest form of
****
in that Gut
he carries around
as a stomach

But what does my opinion matter ?
I'm just his
skin and bones
****** son
still in his underwear in the evening
who hasn't eaten all day
and refuses to play basketball
so he can retire
on time and
have another beer.

Better Eat, ******
Better be Clean,
Better hope to God,
******
you get up tomorrow.

thanks...

  fatty.