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Cristina
32/F/where I belong    We forget more than we can remember. *constructive criticism is welcomed* https://randurifaurite.wordpress.com
Cristina Dean
Cristin H

Poems

Dahlia  Jun 2014
Happiness
Dahlia Jun 2014
I used to think that sadness was beautiful,
But what is the point of it all? We're supposed to be youthful!
They said time and time over that it would pass, but to be truthful:
The feeling and expressing pain or sorrow for sins, it's all we feel: ruthful

So in the end, what is the point of life at all?
When all we do is sit around and bawl,
"I just wanted to be pretty Cristi, just like a doll!"
But isn't it more important to be happy, above all?

All I have been feeling for the past couple of years is pain,
Even though all I have wrapped around my neck is a golden chain
Rather than his clenched fingers restricting against my jugular vein,
With a voice in the back of my mind reminding me of my engraved Mark of Cain,
It begs and exclaims, and it can't seem to remain restrained,
But to ease me of my pain, they'd say: "Here, have a glass of Champagne."

Can't you see what this mystery is doing to me?
I can't seem to break the shackles that would set me free,
All I'm reminded of is of my unfinished Master's Degree.
"Is that all that matters to you?!" I dare to plea,
"But what about my happiness, or my hemophilia b?!"

Their expressions are forever carved in my mind: dropped jaws and widened eyes,
"If it is such a sin to be happy, can't one consider the act of decriminalize?!"
They'd all put up such a convincing and eerie disguise
As if it would turn back the clock to avoid their end, their demise
But I could tell by their silenced, hushed lips and snake eyes:
My inquiry deserved a Nobel prize

What was it about my question that turned my loved ones against me?
They wouldn't dare turn their heads my way, they'd continue to sip on their black tea
As if I were a ghost, or some sort of banshee
The loss of my sanity is what they could foresee

-
Mark of Cain: the mark that God set upon Cain now refers to a person's sinful nature

hemophilia b: a clotting disorder similar to hemophilia A but caused by a congenital deficiency of factor IX

banshee: (Irish folklore) a female spirit who wails to warn of impending death
Anthony  Aug 2019
The Fateful Day
Anthony Aug 2019
These last few days, until the moment I see you,
will be quite torturous, yet I am confident I will see it through.
Because I know waiting these few remaining days and hours
will be nothing when I finally lay my eyes on you, my beautiful flower.
When I see you in the flesh and hold you in my embrace,
my heart will glimmer with joy as I nuzzle your gorgeous face.
The woman who awoke old and new passions within me,
and brought forth a love I'm glad to show for all to see.
So, Witty Kitty, Honey Bunny, Darling and dearest Cristi,
I am certain the day we part, that my eyes will be truly misty.
Though this scene has yet to come to pass,
I cannot help but imagine it when I cherish such a wonderful lass,
such as yourself who emboldens me to better man;
and with you behind me, I surely know I can.
I can feel it deep within the recesses of my soul,
that my path through the future is clear now,
to hold you, grow with you, adore you, and love you will forever be my goal.