The girl looked out the window and watched the world go by.
The train kept laboring as she watched the world go by.
~~chug chug chug chug chug chug~~
She lifted her hand to the window.
She felt the cool surface and spread her hand on it.
She closed her eyes and remembered…

Once upon a time…
Not long ago,
She had been innocent, without a care in the world.
Little did that little one know
What would unfold

She came back with a gasp as a tear slid down her cheek.
She felt the vibration as the train toiled on.
~~chug chug chug chug chug chug~~
She wiped her cheek with her fingertips and looked at her lap.
She grasped the hem of her dress to keep from shaking
As her gaze wandered to her shoes and she remembered.

Once upon a time…
Not long ago,
She had been in a shop, the best shoe store in town
Hand in hand with her mother and father
Skipping along, innocently

When the memory ended
She quickly looked up and watched a man reading the paper
~~chug chug flip chug chug sip~~
She watched with youthful curiosity and forgot her worries.
Though she knew, when the spell wore off, they would come back.
“Back” she thought as she remembered.

Once upon a time…
Not that long ago
She had been walking, walking through the snow
With her mother and father in boxes above her head
Lumbering along, numb to the world

This time she laid her head on the window watching the world go by.
She opened her teary eyes and looked at the sky
~~chug (sigh) flip chug (sky) sip~~
She looked at the ceiling of the train car and tried counting sheep
Anything to sleep
Anything to forget

chug.chug.chug.
chug to remember.
chug to forget.
chug it when in need of company.
chug it because no one is around.
chug to disappear.
chug it cause you're bored
in order to make things interesting.
chug when it seems like everyone
is having more fun than you.
Chug to feel warm.
Chug to make it better.
chug because it tastes good.
chug it because it doesn't.
chug it to speed up time
or slow it down.
chug.chug.chug.
don't let it rest on your tongue.

Cracks in cover let
Sun in hits like
Bullets

Unwrapped window
Gives solar epiphany
To cocooned child

Flee fluorescent,
Flee faux verve
Doorframe: portal
Extra-terrestrial
World through eaves
Like bug zappers
See-through walls
Most envious glass
****** passage

Cold shoulder, concrete, masonry
Phosphenes gleaming, staggering
Hotfoot, addled eyes
Inverted wavelengths
Gravel clinging, unwise
Scrutinized steps to grass
Great big sigh
Saluting sky
With micro pupils
Torrid shell
Swollen locks
Rejoice

Westside: Central Avenue
Pack up, load up
Truckpower to State Street
Beer, veggie dogs
Corn-on-cob
Bag-of-fruit
Checkout scandal

Three-in-the-front
State to thirty-three
Thirty-three to thirteen
Chauncey, Jacksonville,
Trimble, Glouster,
Bonnie’s Home Cooking
Opposite British Petroleum
Exhausted loan office
Opposite Coal Miner Emeritus

Burr Oak: closed
Margin parking
Bathroom clothes
Tasteful vest
Bathroom tissue to brim
Feet welcome
Pass up close up camp spots
I feel a pull to the valley
Clearing: stop, rest
Crack, chug, more wood
Fire, crack, chug, more wood
Chat, crack, chug

Copper detuned chime
Of that ephemeral vibrato
Drone of nine-volt synth
Into kaput tape deck
& we sing & chant & cackle

Campfire chatter:
Bitter pill
Naïve philosophy
Crack, chug
Empathy
More wood

“So when I was seventeen still going to church there were these events they were called “lock-ins” we stayed the night at the church they took our cells our watches took down every clock & covered the windows so we wouldn’t be aware of anything only God & so there would be lectures & guest speakers & bible readings and discussions & also these ******* bizarre activities like they would turn off all the lights light a **** ton of candles & they would blindfold us and give us a little piece of paper and a little pencil and they’d tell us in a omniscient little voice to write down one sin we’ve committed on the little piece of paper fold it & nail it (still blindfolded) to this huge wooden cross with this little hammer & I guarantee every one of us wrote down *******.  

Now that I think of it the whole thing was about ******* every speaker had some story of how they used to ******* all the time and how they were released of the devils hold and that ******* is a sin and will send you to hell and all of us kids were boys and every single adult was a woman they all looked at us like they read our paper like we were sinners like we would always be sinners just slimy ******* who would always ******* (like we would ever understand what it felt to be a woman or what a woman felt like) & their eyes were gleaming with such shallow sympathy that you knew they were true god fearing Christians”

(All at once)
Stab, chug, crack, chug
Stab, chug, crack, chug
Stab, chug, crack, chug

Bliss