I have in mind
the silence of the noise
I have in heart
the trembling of your voice
I have in heaven
a piece I can't truly call
my own.

For some reason, I'm still standing here.
But for a while, I thought I couldn't, after
Dosages after
Cold sweats after
Pale face after
Thin skin after
Snot noses after
Bold threats after
Pinned wrists, but
I'm alive to fight another minute
With my chin forever pointed toward the trees
Because I never had a disease...


A disease had me.

Always root for the underdog
Just don't ever root for me
Because mama did raise a fool
And no good is all I'll ever be.

When you take my hand like you do
And touch my leg while you drive

When you play new music you know I'd like
And carry that smug smile when I admit to liking it

When you want to hear how my day was
And then wish me sweet dreams later

When you take me to bed
And put your arm under my pillow

When you look at me with those sweet blues
And move my hair from my face

When you kiss me on the neck behind my ear
And trace my collarbone with your finger

When you spoon me
And hold me tight

When you try so hard to be what you weren't
And do so much better at it

I hate you
I hate myself

**** you,
I should never have told you

What you should have done
And what you did.

Against the rules
Here I am

**** you,
I love you

But I won't
I won't
I won't

Be yours.
Again.

With pain comes strength
With strength comes words
Words that are conveyed into a work of art

'Cause my skin writes just a little more raw than
rough fingertips.

Head to the body
Swallow hot toddy

A dash of narcissism

To make the throat burn
Make my insides churn

A dollop of ego

And I'm getting drunk
On your self-absorbed funk

All mixed in hot

I do it recreationally
Unconnected emotionally

We pretend we care for one another