The rain is broken
it no longer works
no longer lulls me a bye
to sleep
it beats out a new rhythm
one that has me tossing
turning
not sleeping
instead
it beats your name out
to me
relentlessly
reminding me
how I ache for you
as if I'd forget
you are in me now
living in me
in my breaths
in my heartbeats
inescapable
as the rain beats on
I hear you whisper my name

J.C. honey-tiger 22/08/2019. 5.55am

rest slips
sleeps
loosely tied nots
the chasm yawns
as slumber lost
its easy to
forgive
what we forgot
the brain debrides
a sleepless rot
seeps in quiet
at first
then like a riot
logic process bursts
a mind full food
sleep nourishes deep
mistress of mood
our sanity she keeps
night
after
night
spooled reels unroll
an endless thunder
amassing its tolls
in joyless wonder
I'm all rite I'm all write
lip maneuvers say
one more haunted night
feeds
one more daunted day.

J.C. baby-owly-owl 23/08/2019 5.05am.

3am once again
pushing out the crumpled corners
unfolding
the fabric of time
unfurling
its cold arms
then wrapping me
in its icy embrace
tightly
nightly
instinctively
I reach out for your sleeping form
seeking
hoping
to feel your arms instead
wrapping around me
tightly
warm
the empty sighs
of the empty side
of the bed moan back
the rain
hammers on outside
assaulting my windows
making the want deeper
feeding the ache
in my *****
the need to feel you
filling me up
with your body
with your love
3am
once again.

© J.C. honey-tiger 21/08/2019. 3.33am.

so much to say
too much to do
much ado
bout what to do
sleeps veil has fallen
from my eyes
it's getting very old
she sighs she sighs
a tale retold too many times
a tale claiming
too many rhymes
spit it up, spit it all out
drag it out quiet
or let it spill loud shout
I'd stuff it back in
if it'd behave and stay
just to quiet the din
but it must have its say
steady rhythm of rain
beating on down
the soundtrack to pain
instead of the drown
tock tick tick tock
of the backwards clock
as time hurtles back
on a helter skelter lock
journey there is fast
but the bide there is slow
locked in vortex past
unable to make the gears go
ephialtes holds me static
no matter how fierce I fight
illusions found erratic
suspirium for dawns light
it's ok it's ok
I'm alright I'm alright.

J.C. baby-owly 15/08/2019 3.40am.

to unbind the climes
and unchain the rhymes
it's the only way
to engage and play
squash time and space
so bindings erase
I'm painting out the sea
pulling you close to me
10699 is a bit of a stretch
even for this love struck wretch
calling out to the aether
dissolve terra firma beneath her
meld land into seas
bring my true love to me
let me run to your arms
the only thing that calms
my tempestuous dreams
is you my love it seems
so dissolve it the breadth
and width of it the depth
disappear all the hullabaloo
mirage the kalamazoo
the magnetic pull is pain
if not in your arms again.

© J.C. baby-owly 15/08.2019. 4.20am

Alms outstretched
palms upwards open
a stop in the minds traffic
for the downtrodden
lives lived in the graphic
for the broken
needs forgotten
squashed unheard or unspoken
the hustle bustle of city life
clip clop of Clergerie heels
striding past others in strife
too busy to regard how another feels
jostle juggle of business days
oblivious to the penury rife
busy days in play our outlays
forgetful battles mindful
minefields and mindfields
filled by self possessions
amid lost expressions
of unfilled needs
of those on their knees
curled up at home warm
toasty warm by the fire
dissolving thoughts melting
for those out in cold streets dire
stretched out like a pusycat
well fed limbs intact relaxed
the lines grow longer outside
as shelters max capacity taxed
winters shivers chilled to bones
our lives moving forward on track
bitter cold bites the ache honed
for others homes are on their back
its easy to become complacent soft
choose not to cast down our glances
but keeping our coiffed heads aloft
fate may see you taking your chances
stripped of your luxurious lifes jewels
consider others as you'd want to be
perhaps should be good life rules
how would I like it if he she was me

© J.C. honey-tiger 16/08/2019.

I once was something
that I am not now
too much shock
to the system
caused a retreating
away from the world
into myself

A solitudinarian
while my systems
shut down
preparing to reboot

a cocooning occurred
followed by
metamorphosis
then transformation
reordering of
damaged cells
damaged goods
a regeneration
following
the assasination
of my juvenescense
by his malefic mind

6 years
living in the jar
hermetically sealed
spinning silken threads
around myself
tears hardening the shell
impenetrable
invisible
making myself small quiet
wanting to be unwanted
looking to be unnoticed
retired from a life not yet begun
necessity for survival
dictated the state of play
all the while thinking feeling
questioning
then throwing away
all my mislaid assumptions
my mantra

* I want to be happy
a happy life
I will not let him have it
my life is mine
my joy is mine
my freedom is mine
he has taken enough
I am taking happiness back *

an unremarkable day
the day I woke up
revivified
able again to draw a full breath
without flinching
without waiting
for his reaction
I ran in the park barefoot
I swam in the ocean
laying on the beach after
toes in the warm sand
the sun drying me
free
a child again renewed

J.C. honey-tiger 16/08/2019. 4.44am.