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Sasha Ranganath May 2016
i need my inspiration again
where is my salvation
i can't find the chaos
i can't stand the silence
is this hide and seek
or am i blind
is this a child's play
or am i too kind
savage thoughts
with no actions
disoriented mind
or minds
maybe i have 3
or none at all
is conscience real
or is it a delusion for which
we all fall
are memories real
what i wrote yesterday
does it mean the same now?
what i do today
will i remember tomorrow?
it's chaos
chaos alright
but not the chaos i once knew
no this is not it
im going insane in quest
ugly old ensemble
throw at me yourself
blanket me
consume me
this clarity is clouding up
and you're the only way out.
i miss you.
i miss myself too.

for when I hug you
it hurts me to death

knowing these arms
are already chained
to someone else.
  Apr 2016 Sasha Ranganath
Sylvia Plath
'Perspective betrays with its dichotomy:
train tracks always meet, not here, but only
    in the impossible mind's eye;
horizons beat a retreat as we embark
on sophist seas to overtake that mark
    where wave pretends to drench real sky.'

'Well then, if we agree, it is not odd
that one man's devil is another's god
    or that the solar spectrum is
a multitude of shaded grays; suspense
on the quicksands of ambivalence
    is our life's whole nemesis.

So we could rave on, darling, you and I,
until the stars tick out a lullaby
    about each cosmic pro and con;
nothing changes, for all the blazing of
our drastic jargon, but clock hands that move
    implacably from twelve to one.

We raise our arguments like sitting ducks
to knock them down with logic or with luck
    and contradict ourselves for fun;
the waitress holds our coats and we put on
the raw wind like a scarf; love is a faun
    who insists his playmates run.

Now you, my intellectual leprechaun,
would have me swallow the entire sun
    like an enormous oyster, down
the ocean in one gulp: you say a mark
of comet hara-kiri through the dark
    should inflame the sleeping town.

So kiss: the drunks upon the curb and dames
in dubious doorways forget their monday names,
    caper with candles in their heads;
the leaves applaud, and santa claus flies in
scattering candy from a zeppelin,
    playing his prodigal charades.

The moon leans down to took; the tilting fish
in the rare river wink and laugh; we lavish
    blessings right and left and cry
hello, and then hello again in deaf
churchyard ears until the starlit stiff
    graves all carol in reply.

Now kiss again: till our strict father leans
to call for curtain on our thousand scenes;
    brazen actors mock at him,
multiply pink harlequins and sing
in gay ventriloquy from wing to wing
    while footlights flare and houselights dim.

Tell now, we taunq where black or white begins
and separate the flutes from violins:
    the algebra of absolutes
explodes in a kaleidoscope of shapes
that jar, while each polemic jackanapes
    joins his enemies' recruits.

The paradox is that 'the play's the thing':
though prima donna pouts and critic stings,
    there burns throughout the line of words,
the cultivated act, a fierce brief fusion
which dreamers call real, and realists, illusion:
    an insight like the flight of birds:

Arrows that lacerate the sky, while knowing
the secret of their ecstasy's in going;
    some day, moving, one will drop,
and, dropping, die, to trace a wound that heals
only to reopen as flesh congeals:
    cycling phoenix never stops.

So we shall walk barefoot on walnut shells
of withered worlds, and stamp out puny hells
    and heavens till the spirits squeak
surrender: to build our bed as high as jack's
bold beanstalk; lie and love till sharp scythe hacks
    away our rationed days and weeks.

Then jet the blue tent topple, stars rain down,
and god or void appall us till we drown
    in our own tears: today we start
to pay the piper with each breath, yet love
knows not of death nor calculus above
    the simple sum of heart plus heart.
Sasha Ranganath Apr 2016
antidote, antidote
where are you
my body will lay
lifeless
without you
someone injected
venom into my blood
and i can't
seem to find you.
antidote, antidote
save me
i don't know where
else to look
for you.
i've searched under
beds and
over closets;
inside barrels
and scoured the
city through.
please tell me,
drop a hint
i'm dying.
i've rummaged
through everything
in front of me.
i can't see you wherever.
antidote, antidote
could you by
any chance
be my killer?
Sasha Ranganath Oct 2015
the spawn
of a saint
is often
a sinner.
Sasha Ranganath Oct 2015
you ran your tender nails
over all my scars.
but then i looked down
and there was
blood
**e v e r y w h e r e
Sasha Ranganath Oct 2015
you caressed my eyes
and brushed through my lashes.
i was so indulged in
your touch- so soft,
i only realize now:
my sight is gone.
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