I thought I could change the world before I was 5
I looked at people and I heard them on the inside
I grew to learn that the truth is often disguised
I picked a flower when I was 6 and thought I heard her cry
I vowed never to do that again, at least until I turned 9
I thought I could change the world before I was 18
I tried to pretend happy was all I'd ever been
I thought making people laugh was all they'd ever need
I grew to learn the world was full of lies and greed
I vowed never to love again, at least until I was 23
I tried to change the world before I turned 26
Making people laugh is all I've accomplished
I've grown to learn that this is all there really is
I vow never to try again, at least until I'm 30.

You'll say I'm beautiful
I'll say I'm not
But don't you ever stop
You'll say it's over
I'll say "okay"
Hoping you'll still want me anyway
You'll try to kiss me
I'll turn my head
I'd give anything to be in bed
You'll say you'll marry me
I'll say "me too"
Maybe one day that wish might come true
You'll say I'm too hard to love
I'll say "I know"
Praying that tomorrow you'll still give it a go.

The amber sunset in your eyes at ten
The stark white of the morning on your lips at nine
The delicate fingers of sea air through your hair at noon
The ceasing of passing hours without you
Time stops.
I stop.

It kills me to think of the thing we once had
Together we laid in the silence we shared
The magic created in the touch of a face
The love that I felt in your caring embrace
It kills me to find that this chapter has ended
Turning pages in our book we'd so carefully written
Reminiscing of times where you'd long to be near me
Now I'm lucky when I talk if you even hear me
I'll miss the warmth between us on cold summer nights
And the sound of your voice as I moved up your thighs
I'll miss laying back to back in the heat of the Sun
I'd give anything to hear you say I'm your 'one'
I know those times have passed, I need to let you go
It kills me that no more memories will be ours
You once made me feel like the most beautiful girl
On the days spent together, just me and you in the world
I love you so much, in all forms of emotion
I wish you had seen why I'd been angry and sad
I wish you remembered the things you once loved
I wish so much that I have nothing left to give
But mostly, I'll miss you, for as long as I live.

You never taught me how to love
Amongst the tangled laces
In between picking me up
You never told me how to feel
Lost in the laundry
Innocent and carefree
You never taught me how to be needed
Amongst the wandering souls of adulthood
In between falling apart
You never told me how to heal
Lost in the stations
Queueing without patience
You never taught me how to mend
Amongst the pieces of broken hearts
In between pretending to love
You never told me what it was
Lost in the clichés
Waiting for the right day

You were too long for the cot, the very first time I met you, I met your toes,
They were cute, and pink, and you had no idea how far you could go
So many steps, and so many years, they carried you so quickly
Your nose was so small, and I couldn't quite comprehend
How you could smell anything at all?
I stole it, I wiped it, you wrinkled it, and you cried on it
Had I known then, how hurried time would go
I'd remember much more, than your cute, tiny, pink toes
She came along so soon, you hadn't even spoke your name
And before a year had passed, ten toes, became twenty

You were too small for your hair, curled round your face like a mop
It was dark, and grew round your ears, way beyond your years, but
You grew into your hair, faster than I anticipated, and I couldn't quite comprehend,
How it had grown there at all?
I brushed it, I plaited it, you undone it, and you matted it
Had I known then, how hurried time would fly
I'd remember much more, than your hair brushed to one side
You both grew so fast, and I barely even noticed
While I was there you looked the same, then I came away
And, Oh, how things changed.

The very first time you cut your knee, did it sting on impact?
Did the pain only come, when you glanced up and someone was looking?
Did you long for a strong arm to wrap around you, a plaster gently placed?
The very first time you cut your knee, what were you running from?
Or who were you running to? Did you ever get there, eventually?

The very first time you smelt the sea, did your eyes water, your nostrils burn?
Did you cower away from the giant tongue of the ocean, lapping the shore?
Or did you bravely scour the wall, dipping your toes in the pool of forever?
The very first time you smelt the sea, who did you long to be?
Or did you not dance with your hands in the sand, and dream of 'one day'?

The very first time it snowed, did your mouth fall in amazement?
Did you run outside, with no concerns of why, the sky was falling?
Did you burn your fingers, submerged in excitement at the innocence of white?
The very first time it snowed, who kept you warm outside?
Or did you embrace the cold, the unknown, with that steely bravery of yours?

You never told me why, no hello, goodbye
No questions, no answers, the smallest white lie
I remember the shape of your lips when you told me not to cry
How something we dream of, can make me want to die
I looked out the window, at the textured blanket of sky
My toes pressed against the opposite door, just like a child
Back when my biggest concern really wasn't that wild
Like how big is the moon, and why did the dish choose the spoon?
How did the cow jump so high, and wait, wait a minute...
Why did you lie?

Cold, damp tiles beneath the patter of my feet
Panicked breath caught between blurring faces
The sweet scent of baking is not welcome any more
The noise, the beeping, the beeping, the beeping
Where did you go when your hand lost mine?
Wheels whirring round me, an obstacle in their course
Beads of condensation clinging to every inch of glass
The sweet scent of raw meat, bleeding into my nostrils
Repetition, the aisles, the aisles, the aisles
Where did you go that's so far out of sight?

Your hand brushed against mine, heat slithered up my thigh,
A python of mystery and allure, temptations offering more.
I tried to avoid your eyes, to avoid facing all those lies,
But I wanted us to burn, deep into the sheets, igniting skin,
Skin on fire, liar liar, pants on fire.

I wanted nothing more, than to send you up in flames
Smoke dancing around your lungs, tightening your chest
The way I couldn't breathe, when you played such cruel games.
I longed for your eyes to sting, in a way you couldn't rest
Eyes on fire, liar liar, pants on fire.

And when we come up for air, with sweat upon our brows,
But not enough to put these flames out,
I hope you inhale the way you made me feel
And I'll watch it lick you, the way I didn't any more,
Into the sorriest ashes, smouldering on the floor,
Skin on fire, liar liar, pants on fire.