How could you be so optimistic about a person who is so obviously consumed by someone else?
I couldn't understand why you wanted me, you couldn't understand why I couldn't want you.
But I don't do things in halves and I was -am- still so fully blinded by the fire in his eyes.
Killing your innocence wasn't something I wanted. God, it was the last thing on my list.

I wandered through the streets tonight, lonely without your company.
How much longer can this go on?
Me wishing you and I still shared the same breath
The circumference of my heart has been diminished since the day you left me
My happiness was multiplied by the ways you said I love you
Divided now by subtle traces you left of your soul in mine

Weathered skins and whittled bones are all that we consist of
And they do not last forever
When will you understand that our breaths are numbered?
Let me love you now while I am still able
Before my skin turns to ashes and my bones into dust

Every curve of your face is familiar
Every word that you speak, I've already heard
I know you better than I know myself
You are a fire that consumes me
But I would gladly spend the rest of my life burning
Knowing you were the one who lit the match

My heart had known no greater despair than the loss of hope.
It had searched far and wide for some simple proof of love's existence.

But blackened hearts and broken promises is all there was to find.

The words spilled from his fingertips and they spoke to me.
Beckoning me to come closer,
To give just a little more.
Shedding my skin, I crawled
Into him, and gave him what he asked for.

When the deed was done, we laid naked by each other but
Somehow worlds apart.
Promises made in the dark are
Forfeited in the light.

With every betrayal
A piece of me has withered
Away.
My heart has gone cold.
My lungs are deflated, and my stomach can barely handle any more of the bitter lies I've already been fed.

I could never be enough for you.
You are everything I ever wanted. You are whole and you believe in a life that doesn't hurt.
So stupid of me to think I could trick you into thinking I was the same. You are a dreamer, but I know the reality.
People that are broken always find joy in breaking others.
That was not my original intent. What I wanted was for you to make me whole again and put my pieces back together. Make this jigsaw puzzle a finished piece.
But I realized the risk. I saw the opportunity I had given you to hurt me. So I did what mama always said and I scarred you before you could leave another mark on my black soul.
I left before you could leave and take what was left of me with you.
You were a dreamer and I was your biggest nightmare.

Insanity isn't a joke but I laugh every time it hits me just how crazy I am.
My sanity walked out the door the day you did and I will never be the same.
I used to look at the stars and wonder if the person I would love was watching them
But now I look and I know that you aren't because you don't believe in the constellations
They're figments of our imagination you said. There's nothing out there but blackness.
I can't stop thinking that if I keep calling your phone you'll answer and you'll tell me you were waiting for me to catch on to the joke you played.
The only joke you played was convincing me I was actually worth being loved.
The time you spent on me was just for your amusement. Gaining power from breaking me was the only thing you wanted.
I'm insane and I can't breathe, but I'm laughing.

I am broken and I never will be whole again. You took most of my pieces with you the day you left.
I keep hoping, senselessly, that if you were to see me just once you'd be reminded of how beautiful we were together.
But I was already broken before you found me and nobody wants a puzzle with missing pieces.
Never again will I be whole, but I keep hoping I broke you too.