Samantha: Favorites

Apr 2014 Samantha

Kimberly Santana

This is not a sad poem about a boy who doesn’t love me or a boy who suffocates me or a boy who angers me.

This is not a poem about a boy who calls me drunk at 3am and tells me about other girls and says how everything is my fault.

This is not a poem about a beautiful boy with beautiful words who only sees me as a friend.

This is not a poem about a boy who is possessive and yells at me when I don’t give all my attention to him.

This is a poem about a boy who laughs at my bad jokes and loves how I love words. About a boy who watches bad TV shows with me and plays with my fingers while his arm is around my shoulder. About a boy who plays piano and sings and makes me geniuenly happy.

Apr 2014 Samantha

A Poem A Sad Boy Once Wrote For Me

Apr 2014 Samantha

Kimberly Santana

A Poem A Sad Boy Once Wrote For Me

Please fall asleep so I can take pictures of you and hang them in my room.

You’re laying in between my legs, your back against my chest. I’m afraid you can feel my heart trying to escape my ribcage. Your fingers are interlaced through mine and I feel like I might throw up because they’re sweaty and I’m terrified you’ll be grossed out and let go. We’ve been in this position for hours watching movies and playing video games I want to freeze this moment in time.

So when I wake up I’ll feel like yeah everything’s alright.

You say you have to go and I swallow the bile in my throat. This is love in the worst way. You pull yourself away from me and gather your things. I want to grab your hand and pull you back down to me. Hide in this bed, under these covers and never come out.

You are still here, you are still happy, you are still smiling and laughing. You are still the only thing and everything I need in my life.

You say that I won’t give you space. I suffocate you with my hugs and the way I hold your hands and the way I always call and the way I yell. You say maybe we’re not a right fit and that you’re sorry.

And it goes in in out through the mouth breathing exercises I will never figure out til I am running in circles

You only ever call now to tell me to stop driving by your house. You said we ended weeks ago. That this space was necessary. But how could being away from the person you need more than you need air be necessary ?

or walking in circles, or crawling in circles, or laying on the ground

I’m laying in your backyard looking up at the same sky we would draw figures in with our fingers. Your father comes out and yells, he was never fond of me.

And I can hear your dog whistle from my bedroom*

I’m icing the bruise on my face. You’re on the speakerphone apologizing for your dad. You say I can't come by anymore. The only sound between us is the static of the phone and the sound of your dog whistling.

Apr 2014 Samantha

10 Things I Will Tell My Daughter

Apr 2014 Samantha

Molly

10 Things I Will Tell My Daughter

I.
If a boy teases you,
he is a ****.
Stand up for yourself.

II.
It is entirely acceptable
to wear brown with black
and silver with gold.

III.**
If it is three a.m.
and you still don't understand the quadratic formula,
go to bed.

IV.
When you get your heart broken
(and you definitely will),
ask yourself if they are worth crying over.

V.
By all means,
whenever there is rain,
go outside.

VI.
You are not a girl,
you are a person.
Behave as such.

VII.
Dress however you want.
Dye your hair unnatural colors.
Wear men's clothing.

VIII.
Have seconds.
Eat dessert.
Eat second dessert.

IX.
Love until it hurts,
and then ask yourself
if it is still worth it.

X.
Always be truthful,
gentle,
and fearless.

#love #strength #daughter #advice

Mar 2014 Samantha

Sam gave me a prompt

Mar 2014 Samantha

Kimberly Santana

Sam gave me a prompt

Cranberries** stain your hands like the color of
Blood bright against the porcelain of your sink after brushing your
Teeth too hard. You’ve picked only the hideous cranberries because fruit shouldnt feel
Unrequited like the only love you’ve ever known. Jesus how you’d hated when they’d
Stretch in the morning followed by,” How do can I get your lipstick off my
Collar?” You’re trapped behind
Glass. You are his
Trophy but most definitely not his wife. He says you are lucky. As if you are
Charity and his wallet will give you some vast improvement in
Direction. You’ve wasted all your
Time. Your body used up. No man will want what another has had. Does he know how you
Shake in the dark when he goes
Home to her? You’ve picked out these cranberries to quench the
Hunger that starves you from love.

Feb 2014 Samantha

Lydia

Feb 2014 Samantha

Kimberly Santana

Lydia

Snowflakes** adorn my skin, i’ve never been partial to the cold. The sky is
Red and i wonder briefly is blood could be reflected upon the sky. My
Nailpolish is chipped and i remember how you once said you liked it that way during that
Ice storm that kept us trapped in your cabin. The
Crunch of the snow under my feet sooth me for some reason. You’d freak out if you saw how
***** i was.
Leaves dance around me. Its getting
Darker, I wish you were here with me. I finally reach the
Gravel and i’m sure i stepped into glass. It sliced into my skin like
Screwdrivers drilling into the earth.You’d kiss the boo boo with your soft lips and caramel eyes.
Tongue pressed against my teeth i hobble farther away from the forest
Blood trailing behind me. It was just
Yesterday you were chasing me around this very forest stealing kisses every now and then.
Sorry i sent you away. Im sorry you let me.

This poem came out of an activity I had to do for my creative writing class. Our teacher gave us the first word for fourteen lines and we had to provide a poem to go along with it. This was the outcome.

Feb 2014 Samantha

those who never were

Feb 2014 Samantha

frances

those who never were

let us bury these words in a hole in the earth
cast petals like bullets and spit ash to the casket
fill in the void with cement and dirt
condemning them to eternal darkness
imprint our hands and our feet just to prove
that we are the ones left living
let us dress all in black - smile until our jaws ache
and scream to the cathedral ceiling

let us shoot every dove and roll in the feathers
tear out each page of the books that dictate us
and sing in the graveyard to show our remorse
kiss each tombstone with a fist just because
we are alive
we, the ones left living
that should know better than this
that's the beauty in "life,
it belongs to no man"
so he may take what was never his

Feb 2014 Samantha

fix me

Feb 2014 Samantha

harlee kae

fix me

her name is like
acid
on my tongue.
i swallow it
along with my pride.
it burns a hole in my stomach
making me ill.

your name is a
smile
dancing on my lips.
tickling the back of my throat.
i say it often
and it fills me with air
making me free.

and when you say her name its like a
blade
to my heart.
making me cry.
bleeding me dry.
and you don't even know
that you did it.

Feb 2014 Samantha

Normal

Feb 2014 Samantha

harlee kae

Normal

My parents are happily married, and I've never had to share a room.
Even though I have sisters.
I've never gone hungry.
I've never been abused.
The saddest part of my life is
I wish it were different.
If my parents were divorced
Or I went hungry every night
Or if I had been abused
My feelings would make sense.
But I don't struggle.
Yet I don't want to be here.
My life is like a puzzle
And once it's put together it's the most grand thing you've ever seen.
The only thing wrong with it is me.