I don't know what to do.

I don't know why I'm here, I used to be happy, lively and have direction, now its all gone, im hollow and don't recognize my own reflection

I don't know why I wake up or if I even want too, the heaviness in my chest has taken over and the world i see has a grey hue.

all i want to do is close the door too not feel this pain anymore, run away and cut the tape but the shadows of me wont let me escape

I cant go on living this way, but cant go back the way I came I need to find a way to move on but all my will has somehow gone

I have no direction, no goals and no dreams but when I try to think about it all I hear are internal screams, I'm  just alive for the sake of being alive and soon even that wont be enough, my life is in a constant nose dive and climbing out is too tough

I've been falling for far too long, theirs nothing left, I'm not strong , every decision I make seems wrong and plummets me further into this horrifying hole that has become my life, every minute I'm alive I'm having internal strife about weather I should keep trying or grab the closest  knife.

I know that's the cowards way out of this hell, so for now I'm going to keep trying to escape this cell, ill keep trying to cope and with what's left of me, I'll try to hold on to the hope, that one day ill see, that this pain hasn't killed what's left of Salvi, and maybe I've just been sick forever, and that one day all of this will make sense when I finally get better.

I've been Depressed, lost and and alone for a while now but I do not fear,
for I know now I'm from a planet a long way from here.
I hear my own essence in the form of a voice,
calming me, telling me, I came here by choice.

I'm here for a reason I do not yet know.
but I feel its for my spirit to live learn and grow.

Alas it is not easy to believe these wonderful things.
when my mind acts so blind and treats them as sins.

but my mind isnt me, its just my human form, trying to stop be from believing, to make me conform.
by putting my own voices in my head, asking me and telling me what I think of being dead.

I will get better in time, my soul is still young with a long way to go,
for my star sign is Aries the very first of the flow.
Though I feel I'm very old, like I already know my destiny, as if its been foretold.

So I now sit here staring at the moon, wondering when I can go home....  hoping its someday soon.

When i met her, she was so afraid of this life and needed someone. like all  this worlds cruelness had caused her being to come undone.
In our start, it seemed so perfect, our future right there to see. I thought we'd  be forever,  in love and live happily.
but then she started changing, taking me for granted, like somehow her heart and love for me had been transplanted.
I have no idea how or why this happened, all i know now is my heart is flattened, her love for me is gone. and all people tell me to do is move on
my love for her just wont go, I just don't see how it could, most people's logic  of love must be very misunderstood.

For if someone you love was to just stop loving you. I'm sure you wouldn't know what to do, your love for them will just stay, causing you pain every single day. all your emotions just black. because you want that connection back. knowing no matter what you do, she will never again be in love with you.

I was a fool to keep in touch, it caused me to hurt too god ****** much, to watch her fall in love with someone else,  It made me want to **** myself,  so nearly two years later,  i thought i would have grown to hate her, but no I still love her to this day, and my heart will forever stay this way, destined to be on my own.  for she is the only love, I have ever known.

laying down, im feeling a mess
I look at my hand, as it falls to my chest
It feels hollow
just empty space
though this feeling never matches my face
one day I'll find my way
away from this place

I've been looking in the mirror
staring into my reflection
why is their no connection?
I feel no soul inside
maybe its on the other side?
every day feels exactly the same.
cant go back the way I came
I don't know what's real anymore
I cant find the the god ****** door.
I've completely lost myself
was I just someone else?
I guess don't mind
whatever was left too lose,
I've left behind
this should be obvious
but I've lost my mind.