Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
5.5k · Nov 2019
thats enough for today
saint Nov 2019
remember to never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever
ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever

compare yourself
1.7k · Sep 2019
Untitled
saint Sep 2019
say my name say my name say my name say my name say my name say my name say my name say my name say my name say my name say my name say my name say my name say my name say my name say my name say my name say my name say my name say my name

please
saint Feb 2019
and we fall in love
cherries in the groves
lime sugar love
unable to grow

can we take it back
forget what i said
blocked until the next time
left me on read
regret what you said
thought the best time

headache in my chest
text message in your breath
hiding til the next time
creeping on the rest
if you just press send
we’ll forget the flatline
can someone give me a reason
459 · Nov 2018
going dark
saint Nov 2018
writing the pain away
until my soul wont ache

and my sense of humor comes back
and I start seeing color in my day

because this black and white is hurting my eyes
and the lack of energy you're giving me is deceiving
find me here soon
428 · Jan 4
crash & burn
saint Jan 4
i will continue to line my playlists one by one
until the list is too long
and i can't tell the year
up from down
your tongue to my throat
cut me in half
and i spill out spotify playlists that will never last
389 · Nov 2019
an online diary of progress
saint Nov 2019
it was freezing cold in my room when i looked out my window and saw you. standing in between trees covered in snow and leftover freeze. the seasons are ******* you when you can't go inside. completely numb i felt nothing outside. my room was a blue, your skin was covered in red. frost bite looks different when you're off your meds.
saint Nov 2019
read today that it matters what color flowers you put in your house
what finger you wear a ring on

and that a low mirror can make you feel like you lost your head
274 · Nov 2018
golden
saint Nov 2018
big head
bigger moves

can't forget that i did this and you did that

but either way we stay golden
i remember the progress
253 · Nov 2018
please lower your voice
saint Nov 2018
doing the most to make sure people know
how much you do
instead of just doing it

are you really doing that much?
stay off my social
234 · Dec 2018
if not, ill stay with you
saint Dec 2018
if its not there it never will be
and not everything works out like your favorite song
the melodies so precise they take time
and time is of the essence and never for the weak
only the strong
and the stronger
can take the chance on someone
and give it the energy to make it work

the disappointment is never the other person
but rather
that you could've tried harder yourself
what did i do wrong
225 · Feb 2019
not you
saint Feb 2019
thinking about the next
not you
not you
not you

thinking about the best
not you not you not you

dont want to hear about it anymore
not you.

no use in staying friends
i guess not
219 · Nov 2018
pop rocks and lemon drops
saint Nov 2018
twister in the soda
peach in the thighs
lying alone in my room
touch myself to success
soooo cherry
184 · Jun 2019
if only
saint Jun 2019
and today is rough so i'll leave this here.

would love to talk about it, if i felt you were near.

I wanted to be smooth, and soft around the edges.

instead i sliced through every moment we had together.
i drove around in endless circles
saint Dec 2019
were manic on different weekdays
timezones
zones //zone

matching up at the perfect time

i try not to think too hard
151 · Nov 2018
baby steps
saint Nov 2018
the next part of my life is just around the corner.
we are staring each other in the face
and shes telling me its time

time to come see how good life can be
one step at a time
saint Nov 2019
the existential dread i feel is enough for
(two)
lifetimes

and i wasted all my energy typing this out instead of the work i should be finishing

people talk to me and i listen but i might as well be dead
and then they walk away wondering what they just witnessed
141 · Nov 2018
rough patch
saint Nov 2018
i still have a long way to go but
you better respect how far I've come

and if you don't
there will be a bigger problem
than the earth's quake
and the shape of your face

because I've grown from flowers  
and turned yellow
take notes
saint Mar 2019
and i didn't even want it
throw it in the trash just to flaunt it

point it out and run it out
talking so loud, turn it down

i used to have a pack
traded it in for a band and then some

no use for all that when your something great
look back and laugh
132 · Jan 18
back 4 u
saint Jan 18
i like you with your clothes off and i like him with his on. i wish it didnt snow so hard in my room.
131 · Feb 2019
the cycle
saint Feb 2019
process is progress is product
working through it
129 · May 2019
talking now????
saint May 2019
and im a saint now
you would get it because this was crazy

wanna make something worth it
i will
wanna pray for my peoples
i will
i wanna get there wherever that is
i will

i will say it
129 · Nov 2018
talk about closure
saint Nov 2018
go ahead and figure your life
while i sit back
and tell you all the things that you want to say

now i know that it wont be long
and my fingers can't sit still
let me write your next favorite trend
soooo unoriginal
saint Oct 2019
am i afraid to get to close because of what id lose or because of what you'd see

where did my insides go???
118 · Jun 2019
STARTING MY DAY IN ALL CAPS
saint Jun 2019
I WISH I COULD BE GOOD FOR YOU BUT IM NOT
AND I SIT BEHIND THIS SCREEN WAITING FOR YOU TO CATCH ME
BUT YOU WONT

I WANTED TO BE QUIET SO BAD BUT I ENDED UP BEING TOO LOUD
AND MAKING A MESS WITH THESE HANDS
PAINT ON ALL THE WALLS
DREW ON EVERY MOTION OF YOU

IT DIDNT HAVE TO BE THIS SERIOUS
IT DIDNT HAVE TO BE LIKE
117 · Jul 2019
im better off alone
saint Jul 2019
waking me up in the middle of the night
so i dont forget that you're there
but i roll over to my side
and ignore you

no one knows you
and im better off alone
pillow talk
116 · Dec 2019
one line too much
saint Dec 2019
always saying one line too much and i wrote this with my yes closed
116 · Mar 2019
a million tabs open
saint Mar 2019
opening to the good
closing to the past
not forgetting
but giving myself space

I have too many tabs open
for my soul to regulate
dont let it fall over
109 · Dec 2019
regards,
saint Dec 2019
he said he was

watching svu

but

he never

replied.
saint Aug 2019
waited all day for a hard drive that didn't show.
took a moment to think about the fact that I'm not making any money.
feeling okay because i'm scared to write otherwise.
my computer screen is hurting my eyes.

but what if i can?
do this.
people have faith in me and i can't,
blow this.

never an option and that makes me excited.
i just have to figure things out with me.
maybe i have things down on one side
but the other side is a mirror that reflects something i dont like.  

after this i think i might need to get
balanced.
being lopsided and slowly disappearing is a tough combo
101 · Nov 2018
all is well
saint Nov 2018
as long as we keep
floating,
we're drifting
and spinning away

further apart and my hands hurt
if i let go soon
the trees will be bleak
and the sky will bleed the red that runs from my eyes

all forgiven
and we run through the color corrected forest
hoping that this will be over soon
this staircase melody brings me to tears
saint May 2019
i need higher stakes
and clear takes

thought that story was the one but its just practice
good for my soul but still not compared to you

the next phase is in june
hoping you all will just stay tuned
saint Jan 2019
if you listen
and feel the energy
the world gives you signs
and helps you know
you're doing this right
the eclipse
saint Oct 2019
curious if i cross your mind? we just started to get to know each other and i already feel like im trying too hard. you wanted me and then i felt it too. but now we haven't talked in a while and im afraid to write you first. maybe if we both ignore it, it never happened. if i brought it up, it never came up. if you say it first, it wasn't a waste of time. but only if you say it first.
94 · Jan 2019
the villas on the east
saint Jan 2019
i can see through the window
but you can't see me
under the covers
and out of sight
ill hide in plain daylight
trying to not make a sound
but unsure of what i might overturn
keeping to myself
is the only thing I've learned
its far apart now
saint Nov 2019
because something will happen and ill realize that you're looking out for yourself

and i need to look out for myself
and im running out of time

so im looking out for my worst side and taking the names
instead of the hits


if you notice me take a step back
93 · Nov 2018
stuck in my head
saint Nov 2018
i want to mix you up into a knot
tie you around my waist
double it up

quick before you undo it all
the jacket falls to the floor

and i cant feel again
losing my mind and my clothes
87 · Jul 2019
can you fucking sit up
saint Jul 2019
seems like days get more spaced out or im falling in and out of consciousness and can only remember that the seconds change every hour and the minutes last a month. its been a few years, and judging by my timeline it feels like almost a decade. sometimes i still feel like it might of worked. sometimes i don't remember your name. sometimes i feel it all. it feels so distant its almost feels invalid. how dare the thought even cross my mind. whenever i hear it knocking on my window i slam it shut and the humidity makes me sweat out the sickness. i cant seem to move my arms, my legs, my hands, my head into a new space, into a new person. i can't even ******* sit up.
where is next?
85 · Mar 2019
a little backwards
saint Mar 2019
side by side
perfectly in line
to make the circle
around my head
in outspace
with diamonds in my eyes
and a price on my tongue
my numbers too high
the dual tones
and my vision is unseen
right in between
there aren't even lines
not letting it go
84 · Jan 2019
the wait
saint Jan 2019
waiting for an email back
that maybe could change my life?
one step at a time
in line
down the only path
that could cross my mind
the reply
81 · Feb 2019
a note on over extending
saint Feb 2019
on here i tend to let it spill out, until i figure it out
but today i realized that if everything is too much
that i should listen instead of taking on something else

if you cannot commit your best, then whats the point
and if you cannot give yourself some love, then whats the point

better to work hard, than work busily
and better to give something love and watch it grow
i wish this on everyone <3
79 · Nov 2018
3,2,1
saint Nov 2018
if you move forward, you impact more than you'll ever believe
just one shake makes the whole picture
get ready
saint Oct 2019
i thought about running into you. not you, but YOU. if i saw your face, i would fall to the ground and close my eyes until you weren't there. nothing different to when we were together. does everything compare to you? did i lose everything that i wanted? with a few words, with one night. it was so so long ago. too long ago to remember it correctly. but i still remember you were sunlit. and now i cant let anyone close enough.
saint Dec 2019
MAYBE:

constantly bleeding outside the image because im too much MAYBE

LATER:

walking home in the dark always makes me trip
77 · May 2019
buckle up
saint May 2019
everyone acting manic today
cause someone made it
and they gotta get on the team
from the runner ups
75 · Jan 2019
and the reason is
saint Jan 2019
packing up my stuff, im leaving in days
i know its not goodbye
but its growth
a leap
a feeling
a new place with new experiences
and i could not be feeling better

this is all for a reason
saint Feb 2019
this is what i mean when i see people doing me
but i already moved on and their out of my lives?
so you can stay behind while i see the finish line
onto the cherry phase
Next page