My eyes  are hot.
Why are they so hot?
tears, their streaming down my face.
WHy?
This problem, equation, function.
It is so confusing.
I don't get it.
I don't get any of it.
I hate taking test.
Why are my hands shaking.
Its just a test..
Or is it?
Is this my future.
My hearts in my throat,
Can this all just disappear.

Can I
Why am I so bad at this.
School test life.
I can't focus
Everythings crushing down on me.
I can't breathe
I can't
I

Time means nothing to me anymore

To be the admirer was familiar
To always love but never loved.
Now,
The roles have switched
And I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do.

I'm not afraid of death.
But I don't want to die
But dying seems relaxing.
And that scares me.

I do want to live.
                                                                                                   i think
slowly slipping from reality.
Too damaged to deal.
Too tired.

I just need one thing.
One.
Glimmer of hope.

Please?

contradiction...
I don't even know what I'm thinking anymore.

I'm going crazy.
I really am.
Everyone else is happy.
But I'm just pretending.
I can't be strong anymore
Its so hard...
I keep everything in.
But how long?
How much longer?

I just want to cry.

No ones here for me anymore.
Or maybe they were never there.

Red.
A tub of red.
She took the pain away.
It was so easy.
Why didn't she think of this before?
It was too easy.
No one was there for her...
But when she's gone.
When she's gone
They'll all say they were her best friend.
So close.
Everyones so stupid.
And liars...