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 Jun 2015 Sahana
emptydurbansky
You're in love with me
But I'm in love with him
And he's in love with her
I am torn.
He kisses my cheeks when she is not around
The bouquet of compliments grows
He wraps his arms around me tight
Explaining how happy he is that I came tonight
 May 2015 Sahana
emptydurbansky
I saw a boy in the hallway yesterday
He reminded me of you
And not in his looks or his walk
But in what he was
And I swear to god, I've never felt my heart sink to my stomach so quickly
A flash back played like a movie reel in my head
I never realized where I was standing
So close to his face I could touch it with my bare hands
I stood in shock
I stood in awe
And those boys never look at me when I walk past them in the hallways
Ive resorted to eating in the library
At least, I'm thinking he won't gain my thoughts there
If I had a penny for my thoughts I'd be rich
They contain you
And your callused hands
The way the tip of your tongue hit your mouth when you spoke to your mother
How does one get over a broken heart
I am restraining myself
In order to keep sanity
But how the hell are we supposed to keep sanity when the art museum brings me to tears now
Its not a place of beauty and inspiration
But rather a place of broken down memories
A place of haiku's and lost hand holding
Peaking around the corners of the heavy gold frames
Maybe we were always a painting
Everyone had their own opinion on us
Few saw us as "art"
Maybe, the background didn't really bring out the light in your eyes
But mine were a full on fire
Art.
Maybe the brush strokes of your cheekbones were too sharp
Everyone thought the painting was too depressing
A girl, who's hands were melting down her wrists were interlaced with yours
Me at the other side
Can you imagine it?
Can you imagine what is was like to be so blinded by love you never noticed the deep tree rings of age you left over my core
I can't go back to that museum for awhile
The ceiling of the entry way reminds me of you
And how we used to talk about sneaking in and looking up at it like its something interesting
My darling
My past lover
Promise me you'll never take her to the art museum
That place was ours
And I can't stand you taking that away from me too....
 May 2015 Sahana
emptydurbansky
I used to run my hands along your sides
Tracing your rib cage
Placing my fingertips along the hard contours of your chest
And you used to get chills
I drove you crazy
But I'm smiling
Because at least I remember one time I made you feel at home
 May 2015 Sahana
emptydurbansky
I read someone else one of my poems today
And it was a strange thing
I read quicker than I used
I stuttered a bit
Its funny
With you, everything was smooth sailing
The wind never blew
I never came to the waves crashing upon rocky water
I didn't get a round of applause at the end, but instead a gaping mouth
Speechlessness.
You always knew the right things to say after I read you my poems
 Apr 2015 Sahana
Emily Dickinson
917

Love—is anterior to Life—
Posterior—to Death—
Initial of Creation, and
The Exponent of Earth—
 Apr 2015 Sahana
Sylvia Plath
"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"
 Apr 2015 Sahana
emptydurbansky
Sometimes,
I rest my head upon my wrist
To hear the rhythmic pattern that is my heartbeat
It reminds me I am still alive
I wonder how that is
 Apr 2015 Sahana
emptydurbansky
"Her life is made of rose petals."
I say
And I am crying quietly now
"Mine is made of thorns, and I am always getting pricked and she is always basking in the sun."
You look at me and say,
"Rose petals will wither, but your thorns are only making you stronger. You will be protected most against predators; but she will be destructed by the first demon that lays it's tight holding grip upon her petals."
 Apr 2015 Sahana
emptydurbansky
I realized
The smell of flowers didn't remind me of spring
But funerals instead
 Apr 2015 Sahana
T. S. Eliot
S’io credesse che mia risposta fosse
        A persona che mai tornasse al mondo
        Questa fiamma staria senza più scosse.
        Ma perciocchè giammai di questo fondo
        Non tornò vivo alcun, s’i'odo il vero,
        Senza tema d’infamia ti rispondo.

Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherised upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question…
Oh, do not ask, ‘What is it?’
Let us go and make our visit.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window panes;
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to ****** and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, ‘Do I dare?’ and, ‘Do I dare?’
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair—
(They will say: ‘How his hair is growing thin!’)
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin—
(They will say: ‘But how his arms and legs are thin!’)
Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

For I have known them all already, known them all—
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
  So how should I presume?

And I have known the eyes already, known them all—
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the ****-ends of my days and ways?
  And how should I presume?

And I have known the arms already, known them all—
Arms that are braceleted and white and bare
(But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!)
Is it perfume from a dress
That makes me so digress?
Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.
  And should I then presume?
  And how should I begin?

     . . . . .

Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets
And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows? …

I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.

     . . . . .

And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully!
Smoothed by long fingers,
Asleep … tired … or it malingers,
Stretched on on the floor, here beside you and me.
Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head (grown slightly bald) brought in
     upon a platter,
I am no prophet—and here’s no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid.

And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: ‘I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all’—
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
  Should say: ‘That is not what I meant at all;
  That is not it, at all.’

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail
     along the floor—
And this, and so much more?—
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
  ‘That is not it at all,
  That is not what I meant, at all.’

     . . . . .

No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.

I grow old … I grow old …
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will sing to me.

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.

— The End —