I sit on my bed
and just stare at the floor.
A car passes in the distance
but I hear nothing more.
My breathing is shallow--
my heart barely beats;
I dig in my mind
for the memories I keep.
Flashes of you
and what we once were
cross my thoughts
in heartbreaking blurs.
I remember us laughing
and talking
and planning:
Planning a future
that's no longer happening.
Forever, we promised,
but we were naive--
We had no concept
of what forever could mean.
For forever's
not measured:
It's no length of time.
It starts with "hello"
and ends with "goodbye."
Sometimes it's years.
And sometimes it's seconds.
We promised forever
and I know that I meant it.
Because I'll always remember
what we use to be:
what I said to you,
what you said to me.
Years from the moment
that you walked away
I'll still remember
the sorrow and pain.
I'll always remember
you and me together
because it changed me forever.
But I wish that it didn't
because you're so indifferent.
It's as though, for you,
we never made a commitment.
When I couldn't give you
what someone else could,
you walked out of my life
and you walked out for good.
Didn't ask for some space.
Didn't say, "hey," in the hall.
Just walked right on out
like I meant nothing at all.
So you couldn't have meant it
when you promised forever.
You treat me as though
we were never together.
And this hurts me so much--
I can't even describe
how my gut clenches and twists
when you’re on my mind.
Because I gave you a forever.
A forever I can't get back.
Because I died that day
that you left me like that.
I morphed and I changed
into somebody new;
From the ashes of us
a new person grew.
You took a forever
because I’ll never be
the person I was
before you hurt me.
And all the memories
that we made together
are tainted
and haunted
and will be forever.