You'll be alright,
Just stick to the fight
The battle plan to not regress
Don't lose this time against yourself

But your weapons down,
You seem exhausted,
Let me warm you some tea, dear.
Aren't you cold?

I have a fuzzy blanket or a silk blanket
You can choose one...
Or have both if choosing is overwhelming
Lay down now and close your eyes

Oh don't worry about the tea,
I'll wake you up later
Just don't stress, darling
You need to rest
and eat a lovely meal
Before I allow you to return
to the battle against yourself

I've been with you
Through thick an thin,
But all you do
Is cause pain within.

Never listening
To a word i say
But all you to
Is vent all day.

I try to be nice
And smile it away
But what you don't know
Is that I have something
To say.

I try not to complain
But sometimes,
It drives me insane.

Heartache
Heartbreak
Loneliness
Loss

What did I lose?
It was never mine to start with.

Heartache
Heartbreak
Loneliness
Need

Deep aching need
(Heart-aching)
"Know the difference between want and need"
My fathers words ring loud and clear.

Fair call Dad.
I can live without romantic love,
Without intimacy
So that would make it a 'want'.

Heartache
Heartbreak
Loneliness
Anger

Dr Phil "Anger is a surface emotion,
There is always hurt of fear underneath"
Hurt!
(=Heartache and Heartbreak, can't have three the same)

**** you Cat!
You over analyze!

Blah, yuck and horrible stuff.
Feel like crying.

Heartache
Heartbreak
Loneliness
Loss.

I don't want to hurt you,
No, for it would hurt me to.
Every little thing you do
Has me trailing you.

Oh Dear, my Dear
If only you could hear how
Every little thing you do
Makes me want you.

All these thoughts inside my head
Are spilling out on this bed
Knowing you're no longer here
Just makes everything lead.

My feelings splatter everywhere
Knowing your hands aren't here.
If only Dear I could know where you lie
I could finally go and say goodbye.

Dear dear Mother
If I could change this I would.
Mother I wish you weren't lying there,
In that box of wood.

I wish you'd hold me
In that sweet tender embrace
Telling me it'll be alright
Running your fingers over my face.

I wish you could tell me more
About how I came to be.
Mother, mother how I wish
You could only see.

How everything you went through
Has effected me.
Not hearing your coo
While I lay here and cry for you.

Not knowing what you sound like
Not even your final words
Just feels like a spike
Is pushing through my innards.

I wonder what you'd say
If you could see me now.
Just seeing what you left alone
Asking yourself "how?"

Just knowing what I've become
Everything I've gone through
The trials I've overcome
What would you do?

Come running to my arms
Hoping for forgiveness
Trying to work your charms.
Well Mother, I just don't know

The answers to these questions
Will stay unanswered yet.
I'll find them all one day
That I can bet.

in
     out
in
     out
in
     out
in
then do it over again

breathing fast as I lay
I can't stop breathing
    *******    t o d a y
my heart starts aching
beating fast and breaking
the world  s p i n s  around
as i  c
          r
           u
             m
                b
                  l
                   e  to the ground
everything starts shaking
these tears I am not faking
it all goes black and blind
yes darkness..
              take me..
                   please be kind..
(m.p)

All alone at the end of the day
The time, just a little past ten
Evening has come for a short stay
It’s time for her sorrow again
The smile on her face she’s been holding
Suddenly, she lets fall
And the feelings begin unfolding
She comes out of her personal wall
As the world settles down for the night
She awakens herself from a dream
The girl they thought had life going right
No longer the image she seemed
She takes off the disguise she’s wearing
Opens her heart to the truth
Now behind closed doors she’s not caring
About life, or love in her youth
She sits by the mirror spilling tears
And she cries by herself in the dark
Hours of acting like there’s no fears
Takes a lot from an empty heart
Inside she’s lonely and sad
But acts like she's fine by day
In her misery, wishing she had
A friend, or a promise to stay
Ashamed of the truth she’s been keeping
Living hours in daylight a lie
This is the reason in darkness she’s weeping
Taking time out from each day to cry

Written by Shannen Wrass
Copyright © 1995 Shannen Wrass. All Rights Reserved

I can write about my pain in lines,
Black mascara running down my cheeks with tears,
Needles piercing my nerves with stabs,
It hurts to think of you and what you did.
By not being there,
Not loving me.
Not needing me.

I was good to you.

You took my heart and twisted it,
Tucking it between a rock and hard place.
It was beating but bruised,
Shaking and shivering.
You cut it out while it still beat.
And wore it on your sleeve.

I can write of this pain in ink,
Bleeding my heart out on paper.
Writing you into my memories,
Writing you out of my subconscious.
And yet you're an inkstain on my paper and thumb.
You linger in the lines left behind.

Hey:) Are you okay?

Persuade me.
Tell me not to go.
Give me a reason to live.
please
Give me a sign,
anything.
Show me that you care.
Tell me I'm worth it.
I'm withering.
I just don't know anymore.

I'm fine. It's nothing :D

One of my deepest worries is if anyone will ever love me.
If anyone will ever want to date or marry me?
I can't imagine anyone ever worrying if I will go out with them or,
if I will marry them.
I can't imagine anyone wanting to get to know me better.
I can't imagine anyone having a crush on me.
I can't imagine anyone looking at me and thinking,
"****, that girl is beautiful"
I can't.
Sometimes I wonder if I can't imagine these things because they will never happen.