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When you left me, you took my life away
and made me a laughing stock on display.
When I left you, I started breathing again;
healed of every wound, relieved of all the pain!
Dare to rise again!
None of this matters.
My words are stale.
An extended vocabulary is
as pointless as the pencil
this was written with.
My gift of gab may have
made women wet, just as
the ink smeared on my palm,
but dilated pupils do not
read between lines, they only
see yourself in yourself in
yourself. Then you blink.
You blink because an illusion
isn't a fabricated reality as
much as it is a cue from
your damaged brain that has
always reacted faster than
a mouth expelling empty words.
This goes for *** as well.
No matter how many times
you pull out, a disappearing act
doesn't wish away a pregnancy.
Only a pill the morning after can.
And only a ****** is as expendable
as the money left on a bed side table.
Or a mattress without sheets.
Not a man that walks away in
running shoes, not living up
to his full potential.
it feels a lot like
lying down
this
swimming in loops -
I'll eventually drown;
it's the
peak of a scream
to release what you've found
to find love through
dead trees
& what they leave
on the ground
It's turning me blue
& has
silenced my mouth
but my throat hurts
from choking on
sticking around
>|< Julie Butler
learning that love is
no more than in moments
I couldn't trade ours
so I frame them in poems

& I've turned down the Joni
turned down the heat
you left on my tongue
you poured
to my feet

I'm starting to see
I have
been-seeing-strings
& I hate that I hate now
believing in things

but I love to remember
& I'm starting to think
that all through these nights
& with every drink
that I still sink for you
& get weak just breathing
>|< Julie Butler
she chewed through my ribs
& attached me to wings

subsistent, pretending
I don't need a thing

she pushed through my body
propelling a shriek

her hand fits me close
& her sleep fit my sheets

but I'm done with she's perfect
I'm shrinking in blinks
& I'm sick of this
balancing stilts built on dreams

& I've stopped all this tripping
my shoes are on tight
but I'll  
fall asleep
hoping
you slept good tonight
>|< Julie Butler
 Nov 2015 S Wesley Mcgranor
Sana
The absence of stillness is time. Time and stillness cannot coexist. Time is never your present for as you spell your very moment, it has already become your past. Make haste or sleep, but do not waste the energy of "unstill", you owe it to Nature.
Last thought just before drifting off to sleep
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