Self Diagnosis


An elder       of the family        said

    you know    Ryan,           you

never             smiled as       a child

    there’s a                        photo

of you           at            communion

  them days        one    was     only

ever       asked       to  watch    the

   birdie         which to               my

mind                    was       invisible

          like                   pain

now             everyone has         a

       cheery               grin

even         without               being

    requested to          say

cheese                and        mobile

phones    have      no  budgies

     yet          they can          tweet

there’s               a lot           of

       blank                        spaces

in          my        life

­                                    and   now

as          I     try      to    negotiate

    
     this       maze    of   darkness

in          an       effort              to

    locate       the      root     cause

of       my unhappiness       and

    feigning                         elation

just          to      appease

                         ­         convention

these                                gaps

 ­     are       a                testimony

to        those                period­s

     of                unconsciousness

when              I          d­iscovered

        that         anaesthetics

could        be             dispensed

          without

                               prescription

PS

When I was a baby I cried and cried

                         unlike most infants I was not breast

fed because someone told my mother

                          to put a little whiskey in a the bottle

as it would make me sleep. I feel as

                           though I may well have been a full

blown alcoholic before I was three.

                                When I was 16 I had a duodenal

ulcer treated with Tagamet® now

                              a banned drug. I inherited chronic

candida in my intestine due to all

                             of the natural flora being killed off.

Verboten


        Yes, I’m Irish but not

      related to Rick O’Shea,

    yet, my life is no different

    to that of an atomic poet.


  Sometimes I feel as though

   I am the bouncing bearing

   on a pinball machine, often

   parked similarly, on a *****


    Occasionally I am woken

    by flashing lights only to

         be told, game over,

  move on, camping verboten.

Elana Zelenskiy has refused to give back

the vibrating Oscar lent to her by Sean Penn.


In an effort to heal the rift between Vlodymir

and the Dead Man Walking actor, Boris Johnson

has intervened yet again with a solution.


He said that instead of risking Patron the

Ukrainian Jack Russell mine sniffer, who is

active seven days a week, Boris is offering

Dilyn who is now superfluous. He added that

his dog could begin active service immediately.

British you know, needs no training. The suggestion

has caused an uproar in the principality of his Majesty’s

subjected. A delegation from Cardiff are currently protesting

outside the EX PM’s house in London accompanied by the

RSPCA and Battersea dogs home the  current whereabouts

of Dilyn according to some sources. A spokesperson for

the dogs home suggested that cats would be best as they are

lighter and nimbler. Prince Andrew has taken the lead and

waded into the furore by offering one of the Queens Corgi’s

instead o Dilyn. The response from Wales has been a call

for an independence referendum. The Scots in the meantime

have trained a monkey to find mines by placing them near nuts.


They fitted a metal detector under his kilt. When ****-of- itch the

monkey locates a mine he kicks up a racket and scratches his *****.




Ryan O'Leary

Bi-polar


    He's not a wayfaring tourist explorer

        Nor a rambling ranger nor rover


   He's not a trekker nor tinker nor hiker

      Nor a vagabond journeyman biker


  He's not a tramper nor migrant itinerant

    Nor a gypsy nor nomad nor immigrant


He's not a moseying vagrant commuter              

     Nor a sightseeing pilgrim vamooser    
                                            

He's not a laggard nor hobo meandering                                

   Nor a Romany rolling-stone wandering
                                                                ­

   He's not a runaway refugee absconder

       Nor a transient gallivanting yonder


   He's not a truancy drifter out travelling

      Nor a lingering loiterer just ambling   
                             

He's not an outback on walkabout saunter                

         Nor a pilot nor mariner nor jaunter    
                                                     ­         

He's not a trudger nor slogging globetrotter

Nor an excursionist nor an ushers escorter


   He’s not a slob nor plodding backpacker                        

  Nor gatecrasher barnstormer nor slacker


He's not a fugitive nor traipser nor stroller

      He's Quixote and yes he’s bi-polar.

.      I tried to join Men -

-sa with a sixteen sylla-

         -ble haiku IQ

I’m A Russian Spy


Undercover at night

by day in plain sight

a mole even when in

full sunlight actually

an intelligence agent

because I’m so bright

a double agent due to

my being so erudite.

.                        Obituary


               The Incision decision

               of his special military

             operation in the theatre

          of war was accompanied by

   Parsifal's support in the background.

If one had the bends

or Nitrogen Narcosis

Jacques Cousteau's

  chamber cured it.


If it was pertaining

  to Moka coffee or

pression in French

Bialetti found a fix.


  But nobody, even

   Thomas Edison

   has managed to

  lighten darkness.

First they came for the

                                             Burka

then they came for the

                                                 Veil

Now they come for the

                                              Abaya

First they came for

                                          our lands

Then they came for

                                     our language

Now they come for

                                        our religion

Allah’s

                                                    Klar

Islam

                                                   Uber

Alles

(|)ppose secularism

      because an Abaya

    prevents up-skirting

    Metro ventilation girl.

W H E N  A  F I N G E R  I S  P O I N T E D,  T H E
    
N /.\ I L  N I B S  A N  I N D E L I B L E  S M E A R

When people point

fingers they scribble

illegibly with nails.

Considering hunger

    comes with eating

   and thirst goes with

   drinking this implies

    that neither of the  

    complications are

    chronic, therefore

a watery soup should

remedy both conditions.



Signed:


Dr. Pudgy O’ Bese.

.                 Arbor Master


           No matter where that

          I am I don’t want to be

            the world is a forest

             but I’m not a tree.


            Some they get old

           but stay ever green

          while others go bald

            deciduous I mean.


            One Spruce's up

          to go on a date but

        everyone knows she's

         a Beech always late.


        Ok she’s a Birch two

              timing a Pine

           Holly and Hazel

    had their ears to the vine.


     Cherry Olive is Poplar

      with Lemon and Gum

   but Mimosa’s in love with

Lime Orange & Sweet-Plum.


        Bay Laurel is hardy

      as Hickory and Oaks

    and Redwood is tough

but it’s Teak that make yokes.






Ryan in Sumeg Hungry.

20th August 2023.



The poem begins in the forest

but what it is saying is, trees

(the metaphor for people)

are trapped by their roots or

surroundings ending up in

a harness of their own making

ie The Yoke.

How can Justitia be impartial

                              if she is visionless.

Lady Liberty turned her myopic

                             eyes to the BIPOC.

Yet, she purports to be a symbol

                 of racial equality, universal

freedom and fraternity.

          She is the embodiment of Eris,

Erida and Enyo.

Ukraine’s but the board

and the game it is chess.

Where NATO has found

itself, in a right mess.

Vlad made first move,

   pawn to king four.

Biden’s still thinking,

needs time to explore.

We can present the past

                            by reminiscing

We can pass the present

                       by procrastinating

We can possess the future

                              by cogitating

Uncle Sam and Ben got

together to hatch a plan

with Colonel Saunders.

It was code named Kiev

Fried Chicken coup, but

the Cagey Bee's was too

smart for the W.A.S.P.’s.


The drone fertilised the

queen who produced a

million workers ready

to defend the hive at

Moscow from an attack

by NATO GNATS - EES.

Ukraine’s but the board

and the game it is chess.

Where NATO has found

itself, in a right mess.

Vlad made first move,

   pawn to king four.

Biden’s still thinking,

needs time to explore.





Ryan 17th August 2023

Veszprem Hungry.



Slava Russia and

Bravo Mr Putin.

. An Irish Prescription


    Considering hunger

     comes with eating

    and thirst goes with

    drinking this implies

     that neither of the  

     complications are

     chronic, therefore

  a watery soup should

remedy both conditions.



Signed:


Dr. Pudgy O’ Bese.

river wakes lapping

                   grain freighters barge and bisect

Danube after dark

Ethics Protocol Rules.



No they don’t, they are but

constraints bestowed upon

fools.


I won’t adhere and you’ll

despair at my lack of

convention despite your

intervention.


Assimilation by humiliation

is not for me can’t you see

I am dissimilar but that to

you is unfamiliar.


You won’t get me to change

no matter how you rearrange.


My die is cast and I’ll outlast

all your prohibitions because

I have no inhibitions.


Bet you thought I’d conform

to your norm, but I am an off

roader a no fixed abode’r.


I’m not of your street we will

never meet.


I have no keys, no lock and I

refuse to flock like all the other

sheep.


I don’t even have a  phone to

bleep and I sleep under the

stars with the Tzars of the

open spaces in a lay-by

but to me, that's an oasis.

Gigantism


Would seagulls on the

Danube convince you,

or do you actually need  

to see the driftwood too.

What about the berth on

its horizon for the setting

sun, or a mooring at the

opposite end for the moon.


                (

Our van is parked parallel to the Danube
front to back flow, sun rising passenger
  side so we are sandwiched between it
                    and the river.

Last night through my canopy canvass
        porthole I could see the waning
              ( rescent of the moon.

At a mere 23% visibility it was sufficient
   to illuminate the sliding motion of this
      aquatic mass in its stilling silence.

     Occasionally there was an R.E.M.
     reflection between trees from the
      glow worming cruisers snaking
      furtively to the sea of darkness
                       at Odesa.




Ryan 11th August @ Budapest

I threw a tea bag

in the Danube, it

floated for a while

but sank before it

reached Ukraine.

D
     r
        o
           o
              p
                 i
                   n
                      g

     of their colour.

Conceived in a forlorn forest

evolved via a blue umbilical

cord of cultural diversity but

reverted to a darkened deep.





                /
Ryan in Vac Hungry 10/08/2023.




Ps.


  The river Danube rises in The Black

    Forest but it changes colour as it

flows through 10 countries 4 capitals,

eventually discharging into Black Sea.

Mainstream has no source

   no tributaries or influents

just a dammed up reservoir

  stagnated and polluted by

flow control but no warning

signs for those who lap it up.

                     <>

On reporting NATO's war
against Russia, their journalism
is blatantly biased. Get the R.T
alternative picture at Russia Today
where the journalists are quality
not controlled by puppet masters.









    Zelensky is a ventriloquist's

                   dummy

    Some say that he’s also a

                  ***-me

     "He assists with deception

        Not of his conception"

And with EU.F.UK.US,  NATO,

               he’s chummy.

Zelensky is a ventriloquist's

                   dummy

    Some say that he’s also a

                  ***-me

     He assists with deception

        Not of his conception

And with EU.F.UK.US. NATO

              he’s chummy.

.                  Can We Ask.


Oh Mother Russia we task you to ebb

       North Atlantics Tidal Overflow

            beyond our horizons,

              purify its pollutants,

               destroy its debris

             fumigate waste in

           wake of its departure.

             Oh Mother Russia

             Oh Mother Russia

       of whom else can we ask?



                             /
              Poroszlo Hungry

                   August 7th.

We task you to ebb the tide

  of North Atlantic pollution,

   to beach comb the debris,

   to recycle waste in wake

   of its departure. Russian

  soldier, oh Russian soldier,

to whom else could we ask?

Did you know there’s a

                                   chicken in Kiev

The ****-Asian she

                                   tried to deceive

Dressed up as a rooster

                        In a wonder-bra booster

Her wish-bone it snapped

                                      with the heave.






Slava Russia.

. In Niger where they chant

              EU.F.UK.US.

    The French are making a

                    fuss

   They’ve lost their uranium

Macron scratches his cranium

Another nation has joined the

               B.R.I.C.S.

                    bus.

This is not missing a G

Mr Borrell, it is about a

coup in the Sub Sahara.

The Jungle, as it's now

known, thanks to you.


What's worrying me is

this, might it spill over

into the garden, should

we get NATO to bomb

it like Libya Iraq Yemen?


They have no Nukes, it

will be safe, yet not like

Russia where you know

they have, but you are

too spineless to engage.

And here we were, all

  thinking that you were

  tough, the blasphemy

   and all, but then you

went into hiding, was it

  God fearing, Catholic

guilt and why for Allah’s

sake did you let Saxons

find you dead, what about

THE       FOGGY      DEW?

Salwan Momika the self

professed atheist burned

the Qur'an. But surely a

mere recognition of it as

a holy book, casts doubt

on his religious infidelity?

Multi Polar


Josep Borrell and his cohorts

at EU. F. UK. US. think that a

Multi Polar World means *bears

from The Siberian Jungle will

be ******* behind trees in the

manicured gardens of Europe.

Ukraine.


God won’t take sides,

because some of HIS

acts, were horrendous.

But Satan is supporting

Kiev, we're led to believe.


It's sad, if I was still a lad,

I'd be over there fighting

for Vlad and glad, against

the W.A.S.P’s and those

    N.A.T.O. ****”s.

.            I’m A Maize’d


     There's a grain drain in

    Ukraine, Barley enough

      for a bowl of porridge.

     ****** Oat, it’s central

  W'heating for kids. It may

  sound Corn'y, but there is

cat **** in the Rye. Quinoa

something? nobody is going

to Millet. It has Spelt the end

  for Kiev, everyone knows

  Zelensky’s a cereal killer,

     but Vlad is Putin him

       through the Sieve.

       Who Kneads him

        anyway, he’s an

             Allergen.

.      Shoots, germinates, burgeons
proliferates, mushrooms, pullulates,
    sprouts, in the garden of Europe.
[] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] []
Outside, walls of BRICS are being
  constructed, the jungle is being
   manicured and ‘Putin' in order.

.             Aeolian


But for wind ships

                    forever anchored

mill sails never turn

              barley barely shakes

kites hang gliders

                     grounded, clouds

stationary [====]

                     S
                     H
                     A
                     D
                     O
                     W

   apples rot on branches


         Isaac Newton

            remains

              anon.

You are the global udder

brimming with richness

  of vital nourishment



Your energising teats

  transport necessary

  nutrients universally.


  You are the source

that became a stream

  to a torrential river.


You are the grande

  dame of the herd,

you are the Boss Cow.

ME TOO

South Africa, is one of five,

           known as Cliques

But the Hague, are a right

              bunch of ******

They want Putin arrested

For children contested

So now, there are two C’s,

          in B r  I C C  s

They blew up the bridge

                                     the pipeline and dam

some say The Brits

                                           others say SAM

but Kiev is complicit

                                         that was explicit

on  footage

                                               we’ve seen

from a passing

                                               dash-cam.

There can be no


other, no


      replacement


no surrogate


           no foster


the worlds


      got but one,


respect


            Mother


Russia.

Ukraine $ucks


    A chosen one has come to

    lead Bandera’s ****’s who

   Azov now are circumcised,

    the end of their pork tails.


   Ben Wallace said Ukraine

   is a parasite leech *******

   everything from the NATO.

Not@AmazonTakeaway.ORG

Odesa laments

                      Black sea fleet sails - red sunset

Ukraine grain ignites                             \\||///

South Africa, is one of five,

           known as Cliques

But the Hague, are a right

              bunch of ******

They want Putin arrested

For children contested

So now, there are two C’s,

          in B r  I C C  s

Under-
                  -dog


When his chances of

winning were slim and

none about him nor the

wind, was at his back.


When they thought, he's

the weak one, the prey,

the cur, defending his

patch against the pack.


When they said he will

loose even before their

game began, was, when,

the Hush Puppy barked.

.         Underdog


When his chances of

winning were slim and

none about him nor the

wind, was at his back.


When they thought, he's

the weak one, the prey,

the cur, defending his

patch against the pack.


When they said he will

loose even before their

game began, was, when,

the Hush Puppy barked.




ps

Poem for President Putin.