Dr.[WHO] was meant to be

  at Aintree [WHEN[ Mr. [WHAT]

   won the grand national, but

he was no [WHERE] to be found

and nobody seems to know [WHY] ?

Temporal


    I got no receipt with my present.

   This means I can’t go back to the

gift shop [tomorrow] and exchange

it for [yesterday]. Ah well, I will have

      to make do with it for [today].

What’ll be left of Schweinisch Bandera's Ukraine *****

                 After Putin tells Zelensky take a hike

                    Wagner’s coming to take over Kiev

           While there’s a chance you had better leave

          And we suggest you'd better use a Boris Bike.

The American slimy $nake will seek a ladder

A collapse will bring a fall despite an adder

One vicious bite from an A$P

Beats a dozen from a wasp

But the sting will make investors even madder

I’m on the Kiev Myrotvorets list
Well, I wasn’t expecting a lovers tryst
I said Bandera was a **** And because it rhymed with Patsy
Zelensky went and raised his fascist fist.

We hardly ever eat red meat now

And we only have the television

For news and sport, we’re almost

Vegetarian except for a bit of fish

Now and again, as for bacon we

Only ever have rashers and that

Is very seldom, less and less.

We could easily go without meat,

To be honest, we never miss it.

I was a vegetarian once, for six

Months and I had no problem

With it, “ You never mentioned

That before “ Oh: it was when

I was a teenager rebelling like

Everyone was doing back then!

And why did you go back eating

Meat ? Because the doctor told

My mother that human beings

Can’t survive without eating meat.

                  “Really"

Ukrainians revel their Bandera
But Azov now they’ve become a chimera
They’re on the run in Bakhmut, back to Kiev by short cut
And some say that they’ve all got diarrhoea