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 Feb 2013 Ryan Bowdish
flynt
You're the air I breath.       (how cliché)

The sun I see.

The moon I envy.

You are everything.        (that makes me something)

Now I am everywhere.         (and it makes you nothing)
dumb/bad/ugh/burned
If you ever asked me what I thought of you
I would tell you
I would tell you I’m obsessed with you
I dream about you every night
And every day
I write poems about you
I post them online
And hope that someone will like them
So I’ll feel less like a loser
I would say it like it was a joke
Dripping with sarcasm
‘Cause sometimes the best lie is the truth
Elusive trail to find amity
Disillusioned by refinement
By the artistry  
They paint the false idol
Sustain life
They are incarcerated
Entities become suicidal
Just like a recital
We play one note
The audience becomes
Mesmerized
They’re hypnotized by a false legato
Seduced by the long and smoothed melody
Never to be awaken
Lullabies from a harlot alto
Close your eyes
The murals
They’re out of proportion
Like unwanted infants
Doomed to abortions
A time of lies
An age of deception
Awaken the mind to divine
Those who give you the path of ascension
The era of misconceptions
Come back to life from resurrection
We suffocate from abused tranquility
No hope of possibilities
Life suffers from unbalanced symmetry
  My broken heart
It’s hard to watch
Killing for pleasure
They raise war from down under
Life is lost from a hail of thunder
From the ashes
They pronounce, we are deities
Long live the king
He’s nothing more than a story
We are the glory
Endless violence
Speeches
Of power
Hope is no longer a matter
I give you 1 hour
Open your heart
Open your mind
Leave your bodies
Leave this declining
Reality
Before you’re consumed by wealth & power
Say goodbye
We are no longer…
 Jan 2013 Ryan Bowdish
Emma
I'm trying to be honest
I can't be satisfied by the words
All I have are swirling thoughts,
a comforting memory,
and a path I'd like to travel that became blocked off too soon
because I pushed down a tree in pursuit of something different
something different
something more

The moon speaks to me on these nights,
I want music, movies, the stars
I really want people
but anything that will bring the tears
will work something special
something more

Cracking inside me, I can't tell you
how broken I feel
for lack of words and courage
and for who has ears these days
and I am small,
in an intersection of swirling paths called the universe,
a thick, luscious ribbon of everything beautiful covered in chicken wire and mulch
it smells like earth, tastes like something that can't be digested,
but I swallow it anyway
goes down rough,
but feels something right
something different
something more

lump in my stomach, I know the acid is there working some kind of miracle

three thousand miles and one hundred twenty seven hours ago (approximately), I felt happy

Spinning, spinning something new, I guess. But the pace is set, and you're either in or a failure.
Everything doesn't seem right,
Everything is out of my control.

I always lose,
They always kick my ***,
         shove me away,
         ignored me,
         as if I don't exist.
They spit on my pride
but it doesn't shook me
I stand hard,
I looked up,
I believed.

They inspired me to be stronger
I'm fired up!
My wife, a psychiatrist, sleeps
through my reading and writing in bed,
the half-whispered lines,
manuscripts piled between us,

but in the deep part of night
when her beeper sounds
she bolts awake to return the page
of a patient afraid he'll **** himself.

She sits in her robe in the kitchen,
listening to the anguished voice
on the phone. She becomes
the vessel that contains his fear,

someone he can trust to tell
things I would tell to a poem.
I speak to you in rare moments of sleep
As shipping news speaks of conquered waves

You wear the look of women in coastal cafes
Who have read between the fishing headlines
And cast away puzzle pages
Tea-ring-stained
For weeks
Yet swear daily they do not weep

I speak to you in those rare moments of sleep
As ships speak in song to lighthouse light

Yet I know that when awake
Should in time come the chance
To   really   speak
My words may not rise
From any squall-safe
Harboured-heart place  

But undelivered with the dead litter of shore  
Cling as whelk would
To the frame of some drift door        
I can neither close
Or in clinging
Allow tides

To erase
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