i cracked a smile and told a joke
just to make you happy.
even though my heart was breaking
and my legs were weak.

I break my own heart
Dreaming of the things
Unrealistically

i need to stop setting my frail body alight
to keep you warm within my reach.
when you cant even be bothered
to hand me a blanket at night.

I step up to the edge, the breeze blowing my hair.
I close my eyes and I can see it.
My feet leave the ground as my wings catch the wind.
I’m flying.
But, when I open my eyes, I’m not soaring
and my feet are still on solid ground.
What if I fall?
I can’t risk it, that pain.
I look around and see others fearlessly facing the plunge,
but I remain frozen in place.
Scared.
All I can think is, “What if I fall? What if I fall?”
It’s then, in the midst of my frantic thoughts,
That I hear a still, small voice say,
“Yes, but what if you fly?”

l looked forward to a goodnight
not a goodbye

l wish l could bid you farewell