You,
darling,
are my longest
day
and my shortest
night.

You used to wonder,
You consistently asked
About my depression
And what I keep masked.

You drove me back
To my harmful ways
Needing to hide my wrists
I was in a daze.

I couldn't speak
I wanted to die
When I saw you with her
I could only curl up and cry.

I finally told you
What was going on in my head
I've been hurt and broken
I was used and mislead.

You promised me
That you'd do me no wrong
You'd keep me so close
I'd be yours for so long.

But still.
Everything.
You.
Do.

Is with her.
...

What have I done wrong?

Broken hearts and broken bones:
Things that never heal straight.

Half empty
Half full
Half dirt
Half blood
Clean shoes
No mud.

Dreaming of your demise
Your pitifully starved body.
You begging for your life,
How funny.

You took mine,
I take yours.
Eye for an eye.
Sores for sores.

A child of five knows not what lies ahead in five years
the life experiences are of five years.
A child of 10 knows not what lies ahead in 10 years
the life experiences are of 10 years
A person of 20, or 30, or 40, then knows not what lies ahead
Why do we agonize so much over that which we cannot know yet?
Can we learn from children that we are still growing and learning?
And that "someday" is always here, and always around the corner?

How heavy the days are.
There's not a fire that can warm me,
Not a sun to laugh with me,
Everything bare,
Everything cold and merciless,
And even the beloved, clear
Stars look desolately down,
Since I learned in my heart that
Love can die.