I settled in a chair
With my Long short black hair
Staring at fake faces
Lost in a bloated space

Filling the circles in my head
Popping out of distance
I could not see
What it seems to be

Will it be my past
Pained by childhood trust
Or a hollow dark dreamy time
Engraved in my scars since nine

Will it be my present
Confused by the blue moment
Or morning craving for a heart to lean
Concieved today at seventeen

Will it be my future
Fuelled by all necessary means
Or burned through a spark of fire
From the woods I came since birth

When my alarm clock rings
Who I see
Where I belong
What was
Will be
Because this is the beauty of
Why i wake up to reality

As a boat pass by
I got a teary eye
Its moving me into riptide
Flat bent forward dishonest ride
I mourn for peace
In small drops of water from sky
Where birds try to flap high
Into my hungered dark cloudy eye
Standing on cracked rocks
Melting deep into a moment
Deep in sink sea
That drowns me far from me
Like a palm tree losing life
Bent, broken, and still unused
In a moment of still illusion
I forgot the heartfelt pain that i imprisoned

I cut you with a thumb
And you always say that I was dumb
You spit your silent poisons with no reasons
Like crying for a rain in a summer day
But only to find that they are in my eyeballs
It stained the red lip that was ripped by a tongue
Clueless of the pain that remain
From yesterday tape that you always play
Round and over again the first day it begun
It was a trigger of a gun
But I was scared of making a ran
Because someday it might not come back
So i throw a rock around the block
And shout how you really ****
But you know I'm still stuck
So help me break the bar blindly
To say how remarkably strong my love for you
That I breathe in painkiller
And treat it as a healer
To creat a dreamer in me
That say peel your skin and then you'll win
But all i do is say a play
And at the end I will always say I'll stay

Plus and minus
Is where we find the love that divides us
Like multiplying the heart
Into million shattered pieces
Heartfelt noise of blistered voice

Up above and down below
Is where we see what is and was meant
Like pulling a heart with hard cement
It can't be bent
Hard, rough, and really tough

Candid faces on all the places
Wide so clear but yet not near
Clowns with no frowns
But deep down they drown
In sea of doubt that has no way out

Like the water to the sea
No matter how big the waves are
We fight until we get it right
And not settle for a bottle of chaotic battle
Drunk and lonely with no one to call only

I tried to shut my ears
Then seal it with tears
Like embracing my false fears
In my mid blue moment silent rears
Left alone with two feet on its own
Coat it with curve that has no verb
4ft up and 10 below
Wait, see, bury me in misery
Like roses of deep sea thorns
Blooming with loud silence
Embedded with beauty of impurity
Cards unfold for words you told
No high eye to watch you die
Sinisters of mystery, don't carry
Let free of what is to be and was
Just call it quites in dull of heats
Hearts will march you with arch
Like shivers of the day
Heat so cold that you can feel it
In your hard mad bone
Below the line is gone
And up above is done
I stay to leave my big defeat
Now just say the words to commit
Not just omit
All the lines are torn apart
In the lyrics of a movie or tv
They all say you need me
But all you do is leave me

I'm sorry baby but I won't be your maybe anymore.