I don't want to be,
No more than a memory,
You look back on as you age.
But I do want to be,
That angel you see,
And look forward to every day.

I don't want to be,
Just that secret you keep,
Or a rendezvous while you're away.
But kept I can be,
As long as you're with me.
It's not wrong to want you to stay.

Constantly, I am tormented
By one single thought.
It wreaks havoc upon my mind.
Not because of what it is,
But because of what it's not.

Desperately, I push it away
To the farthest corner I can find.
But much like a river's current
It continues to flow
To the forefront of my mind.

Daily, I wish for it to change.
To transform to what it's not.
But I could wish on every star
And it would still remain
The thought that it is not.

If all we ever had was goodness,
Would we ever see it?
Would we praise Him for our blessings,
Or ask Him to reveal it?
No heartache or pain,
Or questions to be heard.
But also no value or meaning,
To the love we've incurred.
We would not even know Him.
Or begin to speak His name.
There would be no need for hope or friendship.
An unexplainable shame.
Thank you, God, for all the storms,
And valleys along the way.
Without them, there would be no You,
And I will forever be amazed.

You told me one day
'Cause you wanted me to know,
How much you enjoyed the days and nights
That turned into tomorrows.

So now I want you to know....

... Any day that turned to night
So long as it was spent with you,
Even if it turned into tomorrow
Was a day that ended too soon.

today is your fifth birthday -
only nobody in the world knows this but me.

the 20th of November -
the death of all your unlived dreams.

happy birthday my little one,
may you rest in peace.

I'll always be there  
Even on the bad days
When I don't want to be for myself I'll be there for you
Waiting
It could never be a waste of time
So I wait and wait and wait and wait and wait some more
Living for what I love  
Not made to change only to understand, to level up
Hoping you can feel it from afar
During the times you can't look at yourself
You'll know someone loves you
Someone cares
For the thinnest half of a chance that could ever bring you comfort
That's why I'll always be there

I try so hard to avoid it,
The thoughts of when and why.
What a strange thing to wait for,
This inevitable goodbye.

I prefer to put my focus on,
The joys of the here and now.
Forced not to take for granted,
All that the present will allow.

Knowing this togetherness will end,
Burns deep within my heart.
Dreading such a gloomy day,
The two of us shall finally part.

However, the reality of it is,
We're all looking towards the sky.
Waiting on those final words.
The inevitable goodbye.