Sometimes I daydream
Wonder what it'd be like
To just be next to you
Be able to reach over
And hold your hand
Look into your eyes
Maybe see something there
That would make me stay
Hope you feel the pull
Just as much as I do
But it's all just a daydream
You're miles away
Lost trying to find you
And I'm here alone
Daydreaming about you
What it would be like
To actually meet you
Be wrapped in your arms
For the first hug
Hear your voice
By my ear
Maybe you'll say something sweet
And I can grin at you
Oh God these daydreams
Are going to **** me
One of these days
But I do it anyways
Let myself pretend
That you'd be good for me
And good to me
Make believe that you see
How I feel
That I care about you
Instead of being blinded
By your choices and ignoring me
Cause that hurts the most
You're too busy
Partying, drinking, smoking
To see what's in front of you
That I have feelings too
So here's to the guy in LA
Who's too busy being a *******
To notice me

My disease can shock and offend , pull a rotten apple from the tree of life itself , a black hole neutralizing star light , an unheard cry in the middle of night . Gifted hands tied by the poisonous vine of censorship , melancholy days , a wind racked ship set adrift . A tiny wisp of flame in the path of a storm , unsettling voices from sources unknown . The riddle of two clenched fist , one holding a diamond . A motherless son with no one to guide him . Drugs that manage hopelessness , ripe berries surrounded by brambles , dark days to oneself , seedling drowned in a glass of water .

You didn't have time to react
Nuclear reactors melting
Why couldn't I have given you a signal
Allowed you to evacuate the valley
I just wanted death and chaos
I never wanted your heart to be inhabitable
I wanted it all to myself
Yet left myself in ruin
Alone in the dark
With only ghostly dolls to play with
I was another Chernobyl
Another disaster in the plains of your heart
Another tragedy soon to be forgotten

Just get it over
Be one of many people
Surrender to the simple truth
You ******* hate me
I'll leave you alone
Let you read my ******* work
It isn't any good anyways
I'm a has been
A wanna be
So get it over and ******* hate me

I'll find the courage to do it
Stop being a ***** and finally do it
Quit ******* about my ****** life
Hiding when things get rough
Just get ****** and throw a temper tantrum
Just this once
I'd like to find it in me
To say **** it and die
**** myself and just let it end
I constantly torment myself
With thoughts of you and hopes
That maybe it could work out
But what the **** am I thinking
It would all just be easier
If I was a ******* man about it
Poured me one last shot of jack
And chased this last I LOVE YOU
Out with a 12 gauge
Maybe then you'll understand
I ******* meant it when I said it

A sweet lullaby of what could happen
A night filled with pleasure
Ecstasy with shots of pain
Bedsheets freshly placed
They needed memories
She whispered...
I love you
But I never heard
Too busy drowning on my own problems
All I heard was tear drops
And my own footsteps
Captain ******* of the varsity ******* club
Too afraid to stop and realize
She was everthing I ever needed
She whispered...