I'm just sitting in the dark
A blank stare on my face
Listening to the rain pelt my roof
I'm lonely tonight
Only thing to ease my troubles
Is the sweet thought of you
Typical cliche but baby
Sad to say it's true
I could ******* to online ****
I could watch anime on my tv
I could drink till I pass out
But I'd rather think of you
Think of your voice
An old jukebox in my head
With you on repeat
I'll whisper to my hands
The feeling of your waist underneath them
I'll scream at my arms
Hurry up and hold you
I'll signal my fingers
Push your hair away from your neck
Rest my head on your shoulder
As I fight to keep my lips
From ravaging your desires
Maybe one kiss
Gentle and smooth
Sweet addictions arise
I can't seem to stop
A gentle push from you
I'll quit
I know it's your lips that want it
That arousal
That sweet fix only I can give you
I'm no drug but I know me and you
We might just sail away on this kite
Internal ecstasy gave us
I'll open my eyes and witness my own hell
You're a hundred miles away
But only an inch under my forehead
With an image of you smiling
And I'm alone again
Wondering why the hell
Am I not heading your way

I watched as roads slick
With the tears of angels
Catch fire to loved ones
Twisted metal and hollow eyes
Screams of drunken lips
Helpless to the chaos before them
I'll sip on my coke
My monster energy
Watch you all laugh and play
Drink to your hearts content
Shout with tears of the troubles you seen
Then stutter I love you's and I'm sorry's
Wasted before me
A helpless child caught in a torrent
Beer in each hand
Alcohol brewing in your torso
I'm that guy in the back
Hitting on all theses drunkards wives
Even the single ladies I find attractive
Only teasing to keep myself occupied
Afraid of what horrors may come
Driving off into the rain
A shadow looms
Your fate a sealed envelope
A written book before its published
A prelude to another tragedy
My friend I'm the designated driver
Come sit in my '91 Chevy S10
Leave your keys behind the counter
I'll take you where you need to go
If you prefer I'll drive your vehicle
Give me a ride back in the morning
I'll stay the night if I have to
Let me take you in my arms
Shake your hand and tell you your safe
I never again want to see the bodies
Holding tightly to a bumper
Wrapped around light poles
Strippers for deaths entertainment
Scattered remnants on a three year old child
I'll fight the temptation
Free beers and all the shots I can have
Just to see a stranger safe at home

Kissing you for the first time
Holding your hand
Walking down the road
Or driving to your favorite restraunt
I wish I had those memories
Where there's an us
I wish there was a memory of love
Romance woven, our fingers intertwined
I wish I had those memories
But they'll never happen
I live too far
Your heart a barracade
A mountain fortress
Maybe one day the treasure
Residing within with no longer be held prisoner
Considered cursed
Corrupting all who seek to possess it
I wish I had those memories
Taking journeys creating adventures
Just me and you like it always should have been

Lifeless
Emotional
Nothing seems real
Artificial
Every word forced into existence
This dictionary holds open
Written in invisible ink
Maybe I am the worst
A worthless writer
A has-been
Perhaps I'm no longer real
No longer really alive
Just suffering the loss of my mind
Trapped in rewind
Watching my life happen all over again
I'm a *******
Thinking my life had a purpose
Maybe my purpose was only to fail
Be a laughing stock
A joke for this world

An awkward silence between friends
A blush a glance away
Somethings sparks
Maybe there is more
Your sweet voice in my head
Calling me to lean forward
My hands pulling you closer
Should I risk this friendship
For a chance at something that might not happen
A road trip to see you
A smile from your lips
Maybe I am a stoner
Maybe I am an alcoholic
A party-goer try not to be sober
So I can deny myself these feelings
Hide the pain, the anger, the sorrow
I should have paused the beers
The blunts, joints, and bongs
To talk to you
Show the level of guilt I feel
But like a dog with it's tail tucked
I hid, ran from sight
I can't say it anymore
The real way I feel
Words escape me
Everything feels so forced
Nothing flows
Im a puddle without a current
Stagnant and lifeless

Sometimes I feel like the only way to name your poems
Is with an eleven word title
Cause it's the only thing that will make any sense
One or two maybe even three words just isn't enough
To express what you want it to
You can't express what you mean and what the poem means
But then at the same time I don't want to be a bother
Making anyone read a title that long
But I guess I'll make an exception just this once

You'll never see me write this much
It's all you
Probably the only time
I'll ever write
Is when your on my mind
And I'm not fighting the guilt
Fighting the realization
I truly lost you
To the darkness within
I wont say it
I'll never say those words till you ask me to
I know you never will
But those three words are just for you
Any woman that wants my heart
Has to go through you