nobody warns you about the first boy who tells you he wants to marry you.

nobody warns you about the tangible shift in the universe when he parts his lips to smile.

nobody warns you about the poetry he'll write you or how your knees will weaken or the melancholy hidden between the layers of his laughter.

nobody warns you that miles will morph into lightyears and you will curse the ocean for being the only thing that keeps his fingers from resting between yours.

nobody warns you about the day his sweater doesn't smell like him anymore.

nobody warns you that human hands are incapable of holding a person together.

nobody warns you that sometimes love is not enough, no matter how much you wish it was.

nobody warns you about the crippling nostalgia that renders you breathless.

nobody warns you about the nights when silence screams for your blood.

nobody warns you about the crater that forms in your chest in the middle of the night when he doesn't answer.

nobody warns you about how it's going to feel when he tells you he's in love with someone else.

nobody warns you that forever is a lie.

- m.f.

you're not going to there at 3 in the afternoon and nobody's home to stop me
you're not going to be there when my heart is heavy and aching in my chest
you not going to be there when I put the third cigarette between my lips
just because I know how much you hate the taste of it
you won't be there when I take one step closer to the edge
you won't be there when the golden red strings that held me together start breaking in millions of tiny pieces that will forever fly across the universe and finally set my soul free

i don't want to be the one who never knows when to cherish a silent moment with you
i want to be the one who whispers i love you in your ear, under the onyx sky as i hold your cold hands in mine
i don't want to taste cheap wine from your sweet lips at seven in the morning
when i know you haven't even slept yet
i want to taste your mom's brewed coffee
i don't want to breathe in smoke
when you hold me in your arms
i want to feel your heart beating faster as i smile against your neck
i don't want to cry myself to sleep
unless i can be in the comfort of your arms as you whisper sweet nothings and tells me everything will be alright
but aFter staring at the starlighted sky
i lay myself on an emptied bed
you open up your tired eyes
and for a moment we both wish we could take back the words we didn't mean tO say out loud
and we are both very aware of the seven hours that teaRs us apart
i don't want to be the one waiting at the phone for a call or anY sign telling me you're still mine
mostly because i know you'll be the One picking up and putting down the phone after realising you don't miss my voice enoUgh to listen to it for the last time