I fell in love with you,
it's true.
We were torn apart,
it nearly broke my heart.
We promised to hold on,
then one day you were gone.
I neither slept nor ate.
I was living a nightmare from which i couldn't wake.
Happy images of us fill my head,
then sad ones follow and I wish I was dead.
I can't get you out of my mind,
now I'm haunted and I bet you are just fine.
Someday when I'm strong,
I will move on.
I can't wait till the day I do.
I can't wait till I'm finally free of you.

Its welcome in the darkness
But scary in the light
It leaves me feeling empty, cold and tight
The contrast of the noise
The difference of confusion
A quiet I can understand
A battle I am loosing

A child afraid of noises and whispers
Not knowing the real fear hides inside
Mixed with the truth
Mixed with the lies
Hidden from protective eyes

The moment of peace
The weight of tears
Pain carried through the years

Time like a river has past.
Like an ocean, it  has accumulated.  
I, a captain,  of land have I seen of last.
To the edges of oblivion have I, myself relegated.

Of the thousand steps have I walked.
Of this earth have I wandered.
Of solitude have I carefully stalked.
Of you I have dared not pondered.  

So long in this desert, so long in this desolation.
So long have I felt not a motion nor a spur.  
To the frost bitten isles, to the coldest snows, of warmth I have no relation
My skin has hardened of its shell my heart will not be lured.

And yet when I stop.
When my corded muscle ceases in its motion.
And in a hardened mind a sprinkle of doubt.  
And weary eyes turn to look back and thus begins my erosion.  

For there is no solace in this distance.  
No comfort in this silence.
The emotion, my every action withstands.  
Of all my efforts of violence.

I feel, and therefore I am undone.
I feel and my strength and will slayed, fall  down
I feel and time reverts and it feels like it did when it all begun
I feel and my through my bedrock erupts anguishes sound.  

I remember a face laced in roses.
Like a dream I am carried back into your arms.
And around me comfort closes
And again I am besotted with your charms  

I remember it all and that is the source of my madness.  
Of a loss of ones mind, not of reason, but of emotion.  
To be left barren, in pain constantly empty and  loveless.  
Of our union I gained something that merrited my devotion.

And at its loss, my mind broke at the eight of its cost.
And so I turn away from the warmth of memory.
I toss myself into the fire and the storm of loss.
I grind myself against life's emery.  

"Destroy me" I cry.  
"For I cannot bare this cruelty you have visited upon me."
But I only become harder in body and in soul not matter how hard I try.
Of the end as I walk I cannot see.
Out of this darkness I cannot find my light.

The noise of doubt
Poison to the mind
Caught between two worlds, one thin and the other stout,
Gravitating towards faith, a chorus for the blind?

Blotting out all the pessimistic contents,
Praying for a miracle
But, doubt keeps on knocking nonsense.
Graduate my faith to the temple’s pinnacle.

I loathe the tenor of dirges.
But, cherish the flipping of ancient pages-
That refreshment to my hopes,
And the tunnel to moonlight
Narrow escape from fright,
Blind to the future, lend me a pair of sight.

Ignorant to optimism, hand me a share of knowledge.
Dying to taste wisdom, paint gray my hair- merge my reason with age
Send my doubt to the grave.
Let faith redeem me, lest I become a slave.

Close doubt out of my imagination.
Lord, redeem me from the deafening silence of doubt,
Bitter like worm wood
Drown me in hope-hood…
Let faith be my confession,
For I loathe the noise of doubt.

Broken vows,
Sounds of bellowing cows,
No wedding bells
A broken heart tells no tales

Nonsense in my sense
Calculating emotional expenses
Excuses for a lost moment
Fragrance without a scent

A heart grieving in silence
With walls shedding tears of innocence
Rage of innocence I guess
The fight of a bleeding heart- one in rags

Naked and vulnerable like a mother less toddler
Speech turned sour- now a babbler
Blah-blah, tongue twisting tale
Hailing hot from hell

Promises fallen on thorns
Pierced to the bones
Wilted words on dry ground
Salted seeds don’t count

No harvest this summer
Extract the pain in my grammar
And it will narrate my mistakes
Mistaken for forgiveness, commitment crucified on the stakes

This is the thesis
Thesis of a broken heart
Broken into many pieces
Smudged art…

Broken vows
Sounds of bellowing cows,
No wedding bells
A broken heart tells no tales

it is Little Amy’s
first set of crayons
and so she grabs one
and scrawls
like mad and crazy
on the sketch pad
on the floor and on the walls;
and the crayon discovers
in a matter of hours
what humans take years to understand:
*life is short