These are my last words
Just in case I go
Just in case for some reason
I am no longer there
Always remember this:
I hung on a long time
I tried so very hard
To live everyday
for you
I want you to know
Nothing meant more
to me
than your happiness
You were the very heart of me
My reason
You were the one thing
That kept me above it
The one and only why
I didn't want to quit
I love you
With every fiber of me
Please keep these
Last words
*Love, me

I had a moment of truth today
I listened to your voice
Laughter in my favorite tone
Smiling in my ears
I whispered in my thoughts
"I miss you"

"Just a little while longer"
It is written
And though we stumble
Trip and sometimes fall
We are not wicked
Only a little bit bent
Misunderstood
Confused and broken
We weep and we hope
Yet we stay loyal
Because we know
It is almost over

A broken heart is
Impossible
To put back together
the pieces wont fit
Once it has been
Shattered

What is a promise anyway?
Promises should be kept, safe
Locked up and remembered
Promises are a foundation
On which a life is built
If cracked or broken
The structure will cave

Promises are meant to be treasured
To be honored
A promise is often spoken
Without a lot of thought
Crushing the listening ear
Breaking a young heart
An unknowing heart
A trusting heart

So keep your promises
Treasure what is said
Remember it
And keep your life flourishing

There was a time
I honestly believed
You could do no wrong

I believed in you
Everything you said
That you really loved me
Because I was yours
You'd never put me
Through storms
Or wish on me
Any wrong

I believed
you'd be there for me
I honestly believed

Eyes drift
From this to that
Sharp edges protruding
From the pieces of my shattered heart
How can I hide them?
Sand them down smoothe again
Keep calm now
Step forward
Leave the past where it is
Remind myself I can
Start again

You know it's just too little too late
When the experience comes before
& the advice comes after.

It's just too little love and too late to listen.

You know how it is, like when you already fell but 10 minutes later  someone yells  "Hey!  Watch out! There's a giant crevasse under that blanket of snow!" ...because the light already went out for you,  you're broken; bleeding in agony yet who can save you when you're so far down?

You're all alone so in despair you give in to sleep.  Just then  someone remembers you from miles away but the sadness can only linger now because no one can save you from what has happened ...

just too little too late.

Who knew there was a Fibonacci sequence to a spiral shell or constellation?

Who knew the seeds of a sunflower were so intricate; 30 something this way... 53 that?

Who knew roots needed fungus
Who knew water could rise 60 ft. or more through trunks to branches, twigs and leaves?

Is your mind boggled yet?

Swepped away by moments of benevolence

Staring in a haze of emotions

Overflowing
tears of gratefulness

Overwhelming gratitude
for the royal excellence

Sunrise
and
Sunset

*I am in awe of you, Jehovah God

Coral, yellow & blue in swirls and patches danced a top the canvas...
the ocean's waves were rushing up against the thick white sand in a burst of foam... the colors of the sunset reflecting in the water. A large palm tree curls upward in a sculpt like figure close by, it's leaves sprawled out in a giant green umbrella of shade. A grassy hill stands in the distance, tiny pops of fushia, orange and purple tropical flowers grace it's border.

It was brilliant.

His easel was sturdy; stuck down in the wet sand. His hands were steady, capturing as he said, "the essence" of the moment. He moved quickly and carefully  brushing on the last finishing touches to his masterpiece. He could try quietly to remember that moment, that perfect moment. He named it simply, "Sunset".

My eyes shifted up and down taking in the beauty again as I strolled in the art gallery. I was frozen in front of his beautiful work. I could almost go back there, to that beach in that very moment. I wanted the beauty, the essence, the color.

As I reached down and lifted the tag I read the price.... $1500.....

I knew it was out of my price range and rightfully so I suppose, I mean he was a genius; this I could not deny. I certainly knew I would never be able to bring back such vibrance even in a photograph! I ran my fingers over the canvas, the sand seemed real enough to feel, the water almost wet. I wanted to be in the painting.

I felt a surge of disappointment that I would not be able to keep that moment for myself.

Wait a minute! What was I saying? Wasn't I there? I watched his hands, his brush strokes capturing the beauty of it! Capturing the beauty of what is free...

Woah....
It was then that I stepped back,  how could I buy what was freely given? I was humbled in a split second. I am a fool.

It is a sunset. It is a beach. It is an island. It is free. It is earth. It is creation.

And now I take a vow. Everyday of my life from that day forward, I will watch God paint his sky and
never a day in my life will I have to pay a cent for it.

Because creation it is a gift.

In a sunset, in a tree, in the ocean & sand, in the grass, in the clouds... it is a gift. 

Try as we may to imitate God's perfect and beautiful gifts... well let's face it... it's all we can do.

The original is priceless.

This is perverted, warped, deviant,
depraved,

It's how you act like you love me then suddenly you change

You're corrupt, abnormal, unhealthy, debauched

*Always pretending to be someone
you're certainly not

I don't want a control freak
& I don't want lust.
I don't want someone
who smothers too much
I don't want a parent;
no I don't need a dad.
I don't want temporary,
I never want that.

Overwhelm me
with all of your flaws
equally like mine

Always alone
until you came along
Giving me somewhere to belong
Ours was an adventure
shared by no other
Worthy of envy
so we held on stronger
I'd never felt so many feelings
I was needing to be with you
If only I knew
Oh how much you wanted me too
Absence should've
Made the heart grow strong
With us
everything went wrong
Up's down's
this and that's
You do whatever while I just nap
Disagreeing
on everything
You knew just how
to pull my strings
Blowing up
when I wanted to leave
Trying hard
to capture me
Place me in a cage
where I could never be free
That's not love dear
That's just
You and Me

A love story
Is an irresistible fable
It entraps the gullible
Eating up ideas like morsels
Wrapped up in legends
Noses in a book
Of warriors
and peasant girls

A love story is a lie
Telling tall tales
of hero's
Who rescue
& carry away
their trophy

A love story is a wish
The young girl craves
desires in her heart
Lingering in her mind
Currupting her reality

You will never lose my love
O Jehovah
Your's is an enduring love
Humility is your cup
For you have allowed
The most rebellious
To stand in your rightful place
Teaching us consequences
realities
You love truth & justice
You love what is good
You hate what is bad
You have shown your strength
in the face of adversity
Independent of you
Mankind will always fail
Setting up walls for greed to enter
Men destroy themselves
In war, injustice,
Tearing apart the family bond

Boundaries
are what you will tear away
From the earth
A human family is your desire
Your stand is strong as stone
Your decisions are unmoveable
Trustworthy are your ways
The right belongs to you
You are merciful beyond the meaning
In the end all will bow low
All will understand
You have made life
You have sacrificed
More than any being could imagine
You are worthy to rule
You are the rightful owner

Trouble finds me everywhere
It must like me a lot

This world
is chaulk full of abuse
Kids bully
from early youth
Learning from angry parents
It's a tradition
Handed down
generation
to
generation
Someone please
Break the cycle
Learn to discipline
with love
Tolerate in peace
Learn to understand
Children are gifts from above
Do what you should
Pay attention
Gain respect  
with unconditional love

Endurance*
is the name of this game
so, I do.

If only life were black and white
White would always be clean and bright
Clearly seen and easy to decifer
white as good, black as the other
But instead there are so many colors

She's off!
On an adventure of her own
Experiences that will light up her darkness
Lifting her hopes and dreams
Love she's never known
Opens doors
She never knew they existed
Growth!
In measures unimaginable
She's running forward
No looking back
She's smiling
She's alive
She's loved

And she walked the path winding to and fro in her serpentine steps. Balancing on the side of her right foot; coyly she smiles that lopsided mischievous grin and ***** her head:

"I want adventure and romance, a life of excitement! You can't find that in an office or slaving on end for ends." I thought about these words as she plopped back down on both feet and I ask , "what will you do?" she shrugged,  "I just don't know but I need to be far from here, I'm on the pursuit of happiness" ....

So that doesn't include me? I thought to myself, and a sudden sadness swept over me. Her 16 year old figure unflawed and beautiful, she was still my gangly girl inside, wasn't she? Where is my happiness in seeing her acheivements, in watching her grow and change and love? But no, her eyes drop, she is distant, aloof.... she is separating and dividing me heart and soul. She doesn't mean to, it is just her happiness she is after.

~The thing is, I will gladly set you free if it means it will save your life~

All this voting on the TV is truly
making me ill. Only to find the next imperfect man who will lie, cheat and steal. Human ******* til he causes the deepest ill.  Replaced by the next man who can never heal.
So mankind goes through another 4 years of war, greed & hunger.
As I ponder....
This predicament,.. I wonder why it's done. Year after year people placing their hope in total redundanance. History repeating itself over and over again. As if never learning is a never ending trend.

I just shake my head; I already placed my vote for something else instead, For an Almighty Government already set in place. One to which my King and His Kingdom will never be replaced. It will cure all of makind, from every human race.  From imperfection, hate and violence, from every sick & duranged plague.

It is no earthly physical thing, it is a heavenly one. It is a Universal Government ruled by
God's only begotten son.

We see in others
what we see in ourselves
We are attracted
to our favorite things about ourselves
Treat others
with the same love you'd want in return
For we are all just mirrors