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 Jan 2014 Rachel Ueda
JDG
Three days ago,
we were together.
It was the most beautiful day of my life.
We got high.
We laughed in the shower.
We made love, twice.
We watched movies.
I held you, and you held me.
But, a strange feeling in my heart
coupled with a sickness in my stomach
told me you were only there
to share one last day with me
because you'd be leaving soon.
Now, today, you're gone.
Do you ever wake up?
Just for a moment

From the foggy chase for the cheese we call life
(Reward circuitry)

Everything stops.
Sounds surround.
Details intensify.

And something else...
Right on the tip of my capability to understand
Touching down on both sides

That never leaves again.

I've been collecting little pieces.

I don't know for what puzzle. I don't know what the puzzle answers.

I don't know the question.

But I do know each experience
Satiates.
Something.
Surreal.
Perfect pigmentation,
Yet why does her make up crack?
Is it the inner pain of her thoughts?
Is it the emotional connection that she lacks?
Maybe she's okay being alone..
She's okay with the thought of independence
She's not looking for Prince Charming
She doesn't need someone to finish her sentence
She blames the last person
The last kiss
The last first impression
The last goodbyes following someone to miss
Her pigment isn't perfect
You can see the writing on her skin
The goosebumps from felt affection
The tears that take her make up
Down a path she's already been.
Sorry
For my family
I'm sorry.
There is no blame
dropped on you
don't wreck yourselves
with grief
the belief that your actions
brought about my fall
are misguided
not what I want
at all
For my friends
I love you all
to the sweet end
for this is not bitter
but better
I cherished every moment
we lived together
For my brother
go on to achieve
more than you think
you can
and if you ever get
discouraged
don't worry
you have a secured spot
as coolest brother ever
in the heart of this
dead man
I am the
tippy tops of mountains
and the lowest folds
of valleys
sometimes my emotions
practically scrape the sky
other times they fall
so deep
I could die
I just want to be a plateau
I just want to be a plateau
I just want to be a....






Daniel Magner 2014
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