I am destroying you.

I love you so much and I was right,

I destroyed you.

I love you.

I could say it over and over again.

Your name is like music to my ears,

A song that I will never get sick of,

I need you.

Our first time smells like vanilla chai,
I had never been kissed like that before.
I keep waiting for the reality to kick in because I have seen enough to know that this won't last forever.
Life has never tasted so sweet,
Yet felt so painful.
You are honey and morning dew,
I feel as though I am a flower being suckled by your gentle sting.

Our first time smells like vanilla chai,
I had never been kissed like that before.
It feels as though the seeds that had been planted in my spine were waiting for you to blossom.
Never before have I known what it feels like for my body to smile,
Now it seems as if it hasn't stopped.

Darling, remind me when it was when you began questioning your voice,
When silence became comfortable.
Remind me when it was that you turned the lights off,
Closed the curtains,
Hid your tears and locked your heart in the basement?

Remind me when it was that you began questioning your worth?
When others began holding your sense of self and validation in your hands;
when they turned around, closed the door and took your identity with them.

Darling, remind me when it was that you forgot that you are the Sun?
You are the rumbling thunder and you are the lightning that opens up and lights the sky on fire.

Remind me when it was that you rolled over in your bed and pulled the covers up over your face.
When you thought that darkness had made a home out of you,
When was it that you thought that Love was not strong enough to push through the crack in your window and find its way to you?

When was it that you thought that you were unworthy of being seen?

Darling, let me remind you to stare at your reflection in the mirror,
To stare at all the parts of you that feel that their worth is a question,
That love is a condition.
Let me remind you to place your hands on your heart and
Return.

That you are Love simply because you are here.
Your ability to access this love is your birthright,
Your right to love is inherent.

Let me remind you that you are wrapped within the wings of the earth.
You are eternally held.

For now, know that the world longs to hear your voice, you are ready to share.
The world longs to see your light,
Believe me when I tell you it’s spectacular to see you shine.

I look into your eyes and I see galaxies,
There are moon pools,
oceans of star dust,
Speckles of earth, rain and all things beautiful,
When you kiss me it feels like sun beams,
I have been waiting for what feels like forever.
I want to lie on my bed and talk to you until we are no longer bound by time,
I want to stare at your face and watch as the light in the room changes as the sun rises and sets,
All the while we lay and talk,
Your hand in mine.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared,
But for now I will just pull you closer and pretend I’m not.

How do you mourn someone who is still alive?
Some nights I swear I can ******* grief.
Tear stained eyes stare back at my reflection in the mirror.
I wear the ghost of you like a second skin.

Before this I used to feel so raw and ****.

Somewhere along the way I lost my desire to **** the world.

Pleasure turned to pain.

I feel as though I have lost my life force.
I am so angry, I am so sad, I want to scream and tell everyone to “*******.”
None of it is beautiful anymore,
How would you feel if you lost the one thing you used to love most about yourself?

Sometimes I wonder if I am going to miss you forever.