Here I am again staring at this ceiling
Glance at the clock, 11:11
Make a wish right?
*******.
Do you have any idea how many "11:11's" I've wished on since you've been gone??
Not a one has come true
Not when I'm awake anyway
Why am I laying here, thinking about you? And not just that I miss you but, every little thing we ever did together
Over thinking each word you ever muttered to the 10th degree
Am I even a passing thought?
When you sit to take a ****, do I cross your mind then? Considering that's probably the only time you have alone
Probably
Have you ever saw a car that looked like mine and wondered what it'd be like if I was really in it?
Whenever I hear that certain sound I felt your little car made, I **** in my breath and wish
There it is again
All this **** wishing, where exactly has it gotten me?
In the same bed, staring at the same ceiling thinking about you some more
****, have you ever wished you'd stayed?
Do you ever wonder if you'd just maned up and stuck or rough patch out, what we'd be like?
I mean, I'm not sure you wish for anything
You sure don't seem to have control over anything
It's like your brains made of mush and you'll just go where the wind blows, and then just follow further orders
Is it so that if you fail, you can say "well it wasn't my idea to go work there" "I didn't choose her over you, she did"
I mean how much absolute ******* can go through your mind until, you can even listen to it anymore
Seems like your tolerance level is high
You'd been lyin to me for months, tell parts of but never the full truth
I sigh, this is getting me no where
It's now 12am and I'm laying here wide eyed
Holding back screams filled with tears
Why am so stuck?
You're a liar
Even to your ****** self
I wish you'd just been honest so I coulda just left liked I planned
But, you played my weak spot to make me stay
It'd be nice if you didn't know me so ****** well
And you actually had half a clue who you are and what and who you want
**** it
That's my wish tonight
Hit the light switch
Let the dark hide my tears and bury my face in my pillow so neighbors can't hear my screams
I wish to fall asleep and not dream of you
Just grant me that one and I'll never make another wish again