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You said you’d never leave

you lied

You’ve left me here to grieve

to forgive, I’ve tried

from this torture I want a reprieve

you died

holding no cards up my sleeve

I’m fried

remembering the good times, relief

I’ve cried

they said I’d forget, deceived

they lied
I still take a ***
Every now and again
......
More like whenever
I possibly can.

Anxiety is up
Depression in such a down
I am such a joke,
Circling around and around.

Nicotine
You little fiend
You calm me down,
And rot my teeth
I know I regret it,
But every time we meet,
The twitches stop
And my mind stops it's rot

I'll still take a ***
Every now and again
I'll smoke them slow
I'll smoke them fast
Until my body is smoke and ash.
Those haunting words,
Strangled me.
My world was torn,
Put to sleep.

Three words,
That mean so much.
The last thing we had,
That wasn't touch.

Spoke unto me,
Your words cut like a familiar steel.
And you couldn't help but see,
What pain was all too real.

For you,
Those words had set you free.
And I suppose
That's what I should be.

But those words you see,
Made my skin scream
And wish for better days.
Layers upon layers of fake love,
Fused with lust and hate.

And so those words that trickled out
Of your sweet, kind, unforgiving mouth
"I release you." You spoke
Without thought or doubt.

I ceased to be,
Yielded life.
Those Haunting Words
Fueled my knife.
I get dolled up
For no good reason.
Hair and makeup
It's that season.

To get dolled up
With no where to go.
No one wants to party or hang out.
So I'm stuck, dolled up, alone.

What a doll face I have
So pale with light freckling.
Pursed lips, pink tint
Bright eyes, sparkling.

A cute curvy doll.
With dark chestnut above
Graced with a pretty face
That no one will love
 Jun 2013 Rebecca Jean
B
Just need some company
in due time
I want to feel aligned
in peace
not maligned
with a person who
I so dearly trust
that I absolutely must
respect and cherish
more than much
more than me
she's my destiny

whom I cannot
without a doubt
anxiously
wait to meet
 Jun 2013 Rebecca Jean
B
my heart hurts so much right now and i just can't really

it hurts me so bad
it hurts me so bad
i don't know why
but it hurts me so bad

i guess
i feel like
i just want to keep her at arms length
and talk to her about happy things
and only happy things

when u see someone
it changes things
and how u think

i feel like
i just took a step back
and a step forward
but i can't decide
which one it is

to go away
push further
or to stay
and try harder

i'm so mixed up in my heart right now
i want her back so bad
but i don't know if she's still there
my heart hurts so bad right now
i want her back
but i think she's gone

i want her back but i think she left
i saw her looking cute in that pretty dress
i forgot how much her smile meant to me
i forgot how much i miss her laugh
i can't write anything else but pain
my heart is stained
and it feels like forever

i sat and babysat my nephew today
i made him laugh, and i thought about her
with me in the room
she was there with me tonight
i made her laugh too

as i sit in this seat
i keep slumping over
i keep slumping over

i want her to come back
and be with me
but i think it's over
although that feels like never
I don't care about my feelings anymore.


*All I care about is your happiness
This actually applies to multiple people...
 Jun 2013 Rebecca Jean
AM
please
break my heart
so I can feel
something
again
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