2am

These 2am thoughts consume my mind like an entrée,
Devouring every square inch of my cognition.
Its always a constant war between my heart's intuition
And my mind's belligerence.
Redirecting my brain to consciously fall victim to making"mistakes" .


But It is only when the sun temporarily evaporates
and the night sky transpires
When images and memories of us flock in my head.
Like our careless rendezvous and lustfulness that became euphoric..

If I could just sleep,
Sleep maybe.
I'd sleep away the pain,
The result of these 2am thoughts.

Love was considered to be more of an understatement.
Therefore I disregarded it from my cerebrum.
Until the inevitable occurred,
And like a thief in the night,
He happened.
He captured my interest and relentlessly held my mind hostage.
My hypothesis?
Definitely not Love at first sight
I mean, how cliche.


Nevertheless, it was far from lust.
Because we connected on a mental level.
In fact, I found him intellectually stimulating,
Because I craved his knowledge.
And I anticipated what his thoughts were.

His vocabulary,
serenades my eardrum,
As I find myself admiring his optimistic perception about life.
He had his premise for anything that uttered from his lips,
I mean, He spoke with confidence,
Unlike your typical male, that perpetually broadcast their arrogance.
He spoke with passion
That was unwillingly infectious.



I wish it was easy to ignore his eminent ways.
But I found them captivating,
I appreciated his brain power.
Cause,
What's more powerful than a black man using his brain at full capacity?

If I were a flower

Perhaps if I were a flower, you'd pick me to be yours.
Of course you would pick the flower that was the most exquisite,
Luminous in every spectrum,
But more importantly the most Beautiful blossom,
Therefore plucking me from my survival.

See, the anticipation was your acceptance,
However, your admiration was a free ticket away from my existence
Because I am a flower,
And You removed me from my stem.
Now,
I can't breathe.


But I love you...
And I've always loved you.
And as each day passed you kept me stashed in the darkness
Every heartache, a petal would deteriorate.
Which left me withered and pale as cotton

See, I lost my beauty tangled in your insecurities.
Not to mention my vulnerability,
That created this reality.
Oh but how I wish I could turn back the hands of time,

Perhaps,

Make me intangible,
Invincible from you're grasp.
Cover me in thorns and levitate me to the highest branch,
Away from those resent less eyes.

Perhaps?!?

However, I remained transparent in your world.
No longer the center of your love.

What was once a flower became the remains of a petal-less spud.