I am shaking in my core though my body is so tired
I miss you so much
I miss you so much.
I'm laying in my bed with my body feeling totally exhausted
And not in a fun way,
Feels like just lethargy and painful muscles,
I might cry just because my eyes
Are too ******* heavy now to hold in their tears.
I really ******* miss you all the ******* time
And I don't want to bother you
I don't want to bother you.
Your attention makes me feel validated
In a way that's truly gracious
I wish I had you here now.
Sprinkle sugar across your face, love
And trust me you'll be fine
She was beautiful. Blonde, blue eyes,
She loved sunshine and old rock music,
She was everything.
Sometimes things just fall apart.
She was nothing
I don’t know
Sorrow is so much more glamorous
Than obsolete joy
In panic mode
A bottled up feeling
Is trying to get out
Through a hole
Between my skin
And my spine.
She feels like
A wave of burning
A wave of scared
A need to keep
Busy hands moving.
My body is on fire
The smoke is choking me,
I will not learn to cry less,
I do not cry much these days
I will learn to cry the same amount.
I will learn to love this body,
If not in this form then the next.
I am still but a fetus
I have not finished growing.
I am an anomaly, a shapeshifter.
Something so very human.
I don't know if I never want to see you again
Or if I definitely want to see you again.
I think a little bit of both.
Let's do this again sometime.
You're quite the adventure.
You are worth everything that you come with.
And you come with a lot, you know.
You are worth everything.