im so convinced that
your lips were never meant to
be graced with mine
and yet here i am again
sitting on your lap and
letting you
kiss
my neck and
grab parts of me that
don't belong to
you.

i guess the thing is...
they don't belong to me
either.

God is in need of my soul
I need to be found

But I'd die if I tried.

please don't tell me i ruined this too

he said i melted in his arms
and i said "no, not a chance"
so he grinned and said
"oh? you don't believe me?"
and he did it
again.

i want you,
oh dear,
i need you.
but,
there's something
i must do and
it doesn't include



you.

You are like freshly drawn curtains by my window
with the sun creeping in at 6 in the morning and your sleepy mumbles
in my ear.
You look over at me with your tired eyes and your sweet smile.
You say goodmorning, stretch, and then rub Daisy's head and say "hello baby, I love you so much".
You wake me up in the middle of the night, and it's okay, because it's nice knowing that you're there and that you're not so far away.
Your breathing is magnificent...you breathe like you can't get enough air when your fall asleep, like you need more and more.
At first, your breathing slows right when you're falling asleep...
And then it speeds up and gets very heavy...very deep.
You are incredible. I am constantly amazed by your words and your actions.
You surprise me every night, and I know that I can trust you with everything.
I have told you almost everything already...
You offer up yourself and I kindly open up my hands and my heart to
recieve what you wish to give to me.
I want to be as kind as possible with you, because I know it's what you deserve, and I know it is who am I now.
I promise that I will constantly be truthful and loyal, because this friendship is worth everything I can and will give.

I don't think real love could be phased that easily; it wouldn't be able to get taken off of the pedestal without a fight.

there's a lot of things that don't seem to make sense to me. but you?
*you make so much sense to me that I can't even see how it'd be wrong.

"THERE'S A RAGING FIRE AND IT BURNS SO NEAR, BUT IM READY NOW. IM READY NOW."

i want to disappear into the sun and plant myself in the soil that surrounds me
i wish to grow like a flower and to hum like the bees that pollinate the world around me
i know i will be more than just a girl with flowers in her hair
i am a part of nature, i am God's creation

and I hate the way I tend to overstep boundaries, it's yet another thing I have to learn

5 gone and so many
more to lose, Can I?

are you depressed?
*no, I'm fine.

He lurks in the back of my mind
And he makes me miss him so much more.

and nothing is stopping me now, baby.
i know i'll have you soon enough and
i promise that this will start off right.

i can't see myself without you.

and if for two seconds you would just stop thinking about yourself, then maybe you'd see exactly how much pain you're causing.

last night I dreamt that
I had just enough confidence
to ask you on a date
I said "it can just be platonic"
because I just want to know you,
that's all I want to do
(I think so, at least).
You said, "yes,
Of course Rebecca!" with your goofy smile
and we rode off in your Jeep.

But now I'm back to reality and
I had asked you earlier what kind of
music you liked and you simply shrugged.
You let me go through your ITunes and
I saw that you really listened to everything.
You had every genre known to man in your phone
and that only made me like you more.
I accidentally touched your knee
and you "accidentally" got too close to me.
She said we were both flirting,
But we both denied it.
And you became all bashful
and I wanted to take your glasses off
so I could get that cute little stray eyelash on your upper cheek.
I said, "Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?"
and you quietly whispered, "me".
She and I looked at you in confusion
and you simply said, "Oh, I was talking about something I saw on my phone..."
And she said, "Sure... Stop flirting. It's weird."
And I sunk down into my chair
because I haven't even thought of him like that.
But in my dream,
It ended with a kiss, a touch.
It's almost as if his hands have already explored me.
I hope its not just a sad dream.

the salt of the holy spirit will continue to keep me from rotting, because without it, i will surely decompose

You left me because it's what you said that I needed to grow,
but what I needed most in that moment was you and your love
that you stopped giving me so slowly and then all at once.
I was living off of you like you were a drug,
and I think that's why you needed to leave.
The thought of us suffocated you,
and the thought of you being without me choked me.
You pushed me headfirst into the ocean that is you and
the further you pushed me, the more I drowned.
Because we are (were?) connected,
you started drowning too.
You started coughing up water and gasping for air.
That's the worst kind of love, I think.
Believing you're the best for them, while in reality
you're the worst thing that they could ever be faced with.
You stopped helping me grow in January.
I knew it, but I couldn't face it.
I had hope for February,
after all, we had just made a year...
But even the best of times cannot overshadow
the love that had been lost during that cold, harsh month.
And March, well to hell with that month.
Everything awful usually happens in that month,
and I knew it was coming.
I was a fool in love to believe you still loved me all the same
like you did just a few months before.
I was a ******* fool to believe that you tried.
Maybe soon I'll be able to breathe,
but as for now,
I need to get out of here and to be surrounded by
stimulating minds and intelligent conversations.
I just need to get away.

You look like
A winter day
To me.

I love winter days.

I'm always in the mood to
be your first everything.

I've quite mastered the art of unrequited love, can't you tell?

"How are you doing, baby girl?
I miss you so much, beautiful."

i'm in human error with you, do you chemical defect me?

all of space and time is starting to leak out of my bleeding soul

he just wants to get away from himself, my sweet boy craves the world.

how could I let it stay within me?

I'm afraid that I've been gone for a long time.

and if the waves can be calm during a storm, so can i

I am satisfied, I am content, I am living, I am breathing, I am trying my best to continue onwards while growing into the person I am meant to become, it's all I can do, it is all that I am.

"you and i, lets just go to sleep, okay?"
"okay."
"okay?"
"okay."
"i could do this all night, you know."
"as could i."
"goodnight, okay?"
"sweet dreams...okay.
"this isn't a john green book, okay?"
"okay."
"******."

It's a taste I'd never forget.

and since you've left me, I'm so alone.

hello friend, if you so desperately want to know, all you have to do is ask.

And I thought things couldn't get any worse.

“Now there is a final reason I think that Jesus says, "Love your enemies." It is this: that love has within it a redemptive power. And there is a power there that eventually transforms individuals. Just keep being friendly to that person. Just keep loving them, and they can’t stand it too long. Oh, they react in many ways in the beginning. They react with guilt feelings, and sometimes they’ll hate you a little more at that transition period, but just keep loving them. And by the power of your love they will break down under the load. That’s love, you see. It is redemptive, and this is why Jesus says love. There’s something about love that builds up and is creative. There is something about hate that tears down and is destructive. So love your enemies."

and there's a lot of things you'll never know about this summer, but i guess its best to keep it that way. no need to dig my hole any deeper, right?

I'm ready when you are, lay down your cards and I'll be sure to grab mine too. I know now that I'm ready for you.

I've started dreaming about good things again.
he pulls me onto the dance floor and
tells me how beautiful i am.
he kisses me with such passion again and
reminds me of how hungry i am for something more.
and i step on his toes,
because he's so **** tall and
im a horrible dancer.

she and i talk about these dreams and
we add more stories to it.
we laugh because they're silly but
at the same time,
they're realistic.
they could easily come true
for the both of us.

we just need to get over our fears and
take the next step into our
futures.

what she misses isn't her
it's the way she made her
feel on top of the world.