i'm not at home in my own home

do I come off as
ignorant
as well?

You could've talked to me, to give me a heads up.
To tell me that you were feeling that way.
That is what trying is.

i just want to hold you, to know what I'm feeling is true.

I'm not particularly sad, but oh am I severely depressed.

and there's a lot of things you'll never know about this summer, but i guess its best to keep it that way. no need to dig my hole any deeper, right?

And the thought of you brings me to my knees.
Doesn't matter, I've done it all before.
This is what I live for,
Isn't it?

The more you learn about me, the more scared I become.
I'm scared that you'll leave when you find out more and more about me.
You want to know everything.
Not because I'm this "interesting" person that you say I am,
but because you're actually genuinely interested in who I am and who I will become.
Just don't let anything I say change anything, okay?

My mom is sick.
as usual
But, I took a moment
to tell her hello and
get her some water.
We talked for a moment
but she stopped and saw
a trailer on the TV of two
girls kissing and put on a
look of disgust on her face.
I became silent with fear and
an overwhelming shame ran through me.

What if she knew? What if she knew that I am in love with the girl of my dreams? That I wish to hold her in my arms forever and to kiss away her pain for the rest of my life? That I have fallen for a girl whom she trusts?

I now sit in my room contemplating why God would have made me gay if my own parents would end up hating me?

why do I need to understand you so badly

and as he walked into the room, my eyes lit up. everything inside of me combusted and I could feel every single vibration in my bones as his heartbeat quaked around me. but he would never see what he has done to me. *he will never know.

Come on Rach, give it a shot. It only hurts for a second
No, I cant. I made a promise. I only did it a few times but It has been forever.
You're worthless, I'm the only one that wants you. Why can't you want me back?
Because you're *bad and I cant, I made a promise.
If she couldn't keep them, then why should you?
And for once, my old friend made sense.
**But, I *couldn't.

so, maybe it's okay, maybe it's meant to be.

you put me on a stake and you left me aflame.
i turned to ash, but now i'm rising again.

I guess heartbreak is good for the abs.

I didn't want to become him, but over the summer I morphed into him as fast as *lightning.

And how is it fair that so much love is being lost? *How is it right?

Hope is the very anchor of our soul.

she was everything and more.

i just want to dance with you, my dear.

I can't wait to leave.
Parts of you will be scattered and left everywhere and
I'll make sure to leave them there.
I won't have to endure the pain every morning and night
and I'll leave those fragments of your heart that you gave me
in the dirt in different parts of the country,
possibly in the world someday.
Maybe then someone will see them and
water them like seeds,
because they failed to grow inside of me,
which is why I need to leave.

Am I that easy to leave?

Who ******* cares?

and I haven't left my bed all day, my heart hurts too much to even think about it.

I'm starting to learn that you aren't the only beautiful person in the world.

me: "Who said anything about liking one another?"
you: "Me"

You know you love them when
you still want the best for them and
you tell them to say "I love you"
to their new boyfriend
because you know
that the worst crime is
not letting someone know that
you them them too.

I'm afraid that I've been gone for a long time.

I don't understand why you can say things and have no consequences, but the second I say something it becomes WWIII?

i think I'm starting to figure myself out again

I cannot sleep,
for my body is begging me
to nourish it.

it wouldn't matter, no, not much at all.
because, my dear, everything takes time to grow.

if you were to sink, i'd jump overboard too.
no pointing in living a life without you.

For so long I thought it was so beautiful to be owned, but now I see the destruction that the belief that you belong to anyone but yourself can bring.

I'm still waiting for
You.

God, don't leave me too.
I love you, *I love you.

one day I will not associate even the most minuscule of things with you, like the date or what I eat or even words. I believe that this truly is something to look forward to, because I simply cannot handle the pain of it anymore.

I have lost my words
and my wisdom is gone
I am not a poet anymore,
am I?

i sit here on the                                          edge
of my bed and i watch you
as you watch the
rain f
         a
           l
            l
outside of my window.
when all of this rain clears up,
will you then shed a tear or two for me, my dear?
won't this last or will we be thrown into the depths of the sea?
i do not wish to get lost in the ocean of being "just friends".
I'm just wondering how many lullabies will be sung until you
dream of me again?

I'm with the tide now, there's no time to fight it anymore.

tell me that these lips don't burn your skin and that your breath isn't as hot as fire on my neck

i only trust a few. not you, not you, and most certainly not you.

You enchant me even when you're not around.

I asked kindly, "Show me who you are." And you have yet to disappoint.