You and I
breathed each other in
and now we burn on
each other tongues
like the cigarettes that
sit between your
beautiful lips.

When you wake up to
the sounds of birds chirping from
her window through your
phone and you both
just so happen to
wake up at the
same time...
that's how you
know you're in
*love.

And if I could spell love without
Using letters, i would

Love shouldn't be confined to
Four little letters,
It should boasted into infinities
And the millions of galaxies that are
Beyond us.

Love is beyond me,
Love is you, my darling.

Light
seems as if it
only wants to kiss the ground
and scare all the other
stars away from
what could be.

Darkness
creeps into the souls
of the "unworthy" and the
"demented" but in reality
they are just souls
who need the Light.

But Light
seems selfish
and much like a loner.
She out shines all others
and says she is Queen.

But Darkness
is the King.
He is kind and gentle
and swift and loving--
He gives hope to those who
give back to others
and lets others
shine as well.

Day
you are Queen
but Night
is King.

And it would seem that
you cannot decide who
would win this war
between the two
of you unworthy
contestants.

When a good thing goes bad it's not the end of the world
It's just the end of a world, that you had with one girl
And she's the reason it happened, but she's overreacting
And it's all because she don't want things to change

So cry if you need to, but I can't stay to watch you
That's the wrong thing to do
Touch if you need to, but I can't stay to hold you
That's the wrong thing to do
Talk if you need to, but I can't stay to hear you
That's the wrong thing to do
Cause you'll say you love me, and I'll end up lying
And say I love you too

But I need someone different
You know it, oh **, you know it
Oh **, you know it, we both know it
I need someone different
You know it, oh **, you know it
Oh **, you know it, we both know it
Something's been missing
You know it, oh **, she knows it
Oh **, I know it, we all know it
I need someone different (oh **, oh **)

We live in a generation of, not being in love, and not being together
But we sure make it feel like we're together
Cause we're scared to see each other with somebody else

But I need someone different
You know it, oh **, you know it
Oh **, you know it, we both know it
I need someone different
You know it, oh **, you know it
Oh **, you know it, we both know it
Something's been missing
You know it, oh **, she knows it
Oh **, I know it, we all know it
I need someone different

isn't any reaction better than no reaction at all?
isn't feeling something better than feeling nothing at all?

i could've kissed your
almost lips all day long.
and the way you left me
wanting more,
i feel like you're a pro at this.
i love holding you,
and feeling like this.
I'm on a constant high,
and even when i come down
you're there to catch me.

the necklace,
its blue and simple,
but quaint and fierce.
it is strong,
and full of memories.
and it reminds me of you.

i really hope you like the necklace.
im a bit of a romantic.
one of the ways i show how i feel is
by buying presents, so hopefully you're
okay with that.

i just... i want you to know
that you are really wonderful.
and that i could and would
keep you in my arms all day
and dare to kiss your lips.

Stupid if you know me,
because surely I am not dying.
It is merely an infection,
nothing more.
But, what if it spreads?
To my blood? To my heart?
And what if I am Dead?
I already am? When did it start?
I guess I feel alone.
More to myself. More depressed.
I feel as if I'm prone
to infections, aren't I blessed?
I should write about pills
and the pretty colors they wear.
I should write my secrets
for I may not have time to share.
and maybe this is a bit much,
but this story must be told.
that I am the girl who was
very much too bold.

"I’ve waited a hundred years
But I’d wait a million more for you
Nothing prepared me for
What the privilege of being yours"

Stay calm.
Everything's gonna be alright.
I think.
Maybe.
Sometimes.
****
Will I be okay?

I remember that day.
He had a white mustang
and I had cherry lips.
And he wanted much more than a kiss,
But I had never done anything more.
And it really wasn't a kiss.
It was more like a make out session.
And it didn't get very heated,
Because he wasn't good.
And I wasn't into it.
And he stole my gum,
And I didn't want him...
I wanted her.

he said i was beautiful,
but we all know that beauty doesn't save the ******.

I went that way to see you
But instead I got a better
Surprise by running straight
Into you at the door.
I fell and dropped all of my
Books and you smiled and helped me
Up and even picked my books up
For me.

We chit-chatted and we
Had a wonderful conversation and
He even told me that he
Was hoping I had a nice
Day.

Maybe I just look way
To much into things but
I'm pretty sure he wants
Me just as much as
I want
Him.

"So you're.....what?"
You looked at me confusedly and
I tried my best not to be worried about
what you might think.
This is who I am,
And I can't keep lying about it.
"I'm Pansexual, yeah."
You took a deep breath,
and then you smiled at me as you grabbed ahold of my hands.
"Tell me more," you said.
And that's how I knew I had made an amazing choice.

Seeing you
Smiling
Laughing
And
Enjoying life without me,
Seems like you'd be just fine.

Come look for me in the bathroom,
I plan on getting something sharp baby.
Let my blood run dry and
My heart stop beating.
Goodbye.

I will forever love you.

if my erythrocytes change every 120 days, then I wonder if the process would be faster by opening up a vein or two, so I can get rid of some of the red blood cells instead of waiting for them to change.

I heard I'm glowing, is it true?

Those three men
Scared beyond belief.
Scared of what they see at night
Seeing the monsters
Hiding under their sheets.

Those three men
Not sure of who they are.
They skip meals and
Throw up
Heaving fires.

Those three men
Cut and slice their skin
Open wide.
They do it because
Society is making them
Hide.

Those three men
Can never really be.
For what they are
Is really we.

Those three men
Make us up all of us.
Together as a whole,
We are them and
They are we.

you know the only thing worse than hate?
indifference.

"Almost seven thousand languages, and not one of them holds words adequate to describe the joy I felt when you stepped into my life, nor the loss I suffered when you decided to step out."

touching
it seems as if my
fingers want more-
the gasping of air
the act of clenching tighter and tighter
the need to feel something other than
the pain that rests inside
baby, just let it all pour out

don't think about the others
think of what feels right.
is it the lips on your thighs
the fingers that wriggle through your hair
or the eyes that stare deep into your soul?

what about the sweet kisses
that i want to give you
and the flowers and chocolate
or maybe even the looks across the hall that
make you just so excited (you know in what way...)

i'd do anything for you.
but am i really ready to
know someone in that way?

It was my first time
And I was dreading it.
I felt like God and I just weren't on the same page.
After all, I was in love with a girl
and I am a girl.
So, I thought I was ******.
But, I put away those thoughts for those few days
And I prayed.
I prayed as hard and as loud as I could.
For the first two days I made sure I talked to nobody.
I didn't want them to know how awful I was.
I had done so many awful things,
Especially in the past few weeks before I had went there.
So I prayed.
I asked for forgiveness.
I know I got it from him, and never really from you.
But, I learned something at camp.
I cried, and I knelt down on the ground and pleaded,
"God, please. I'll do anything to undo the pain I caused.
I don't want her to hurt, I can feel it, I can feel her pain."
And while I never really got an outright answer,
Something happened.
I was learning how to forgive myself.
It's so important to learn how to do that,
Because not everyone will completely forgive you,
Maybe people like me can easily forgive others,
But many others cannot.
And with you, I never really understood why you tried so hard to forgive me.
I still think it was because you loved me,
But even that seems too radical and unrealistic now.
Forgiveness is something so powerful.
It helps you put away the bad,
And it helps you to move on.
We both have hurt each other,
It's just a matter of forgiveness now.
So the question is:
*Will I forgive you and will you forgive me?

His laugh is the most adorable thing I've ever heard and
I simply cannot get enough of it.

Somewhere in the drug induced haze
I wondered what it is like to feel the
touch of a blade again
and how many times I'd
have to scream "Help Me!"
before I realized nobody was
there to save me from
myself.

you kissed her with your eyes opened,
so what did you expect?
did you expect her to stay and to
keep on taking that?
did you expect her to stay and to
want more of your
half-assed kisses?
did you really expect her to stay and to
come back every time you didn't give her
the time of day?

if you answered "yes" to any if this,
then you're just the ****** that everyone
but her saw.

I remember when we
Almost kissed.
When we
Almost shared the
Same breath.

I noticed that
What happened
Could have gone
A lot of ways.
We could've fell in
Love.
We could've stopped
Being friends.
Or
We could have gone on with
Life normally.

I hate that I
Missed the chance of
Feeling your
Lips
On mine.

For you,
I won't.
I won't do it.
But that doesn't mean I won't
Think about it in my mind.
My friends,
They're disappearing.
Funny,
I refer to them as "friends"
But they're here for me.
But why do they
Leave?
Friends shouldn't leave.
That's not how friendship works.

I guess that why this friendship
Won't work.

It's a ritual
Of mine
To fall in love.
By day I do it,
By night I've fell.
By morning I've cried,
And over time
I'm done.

My life consists of
Falling in and
Out
Of love.

I just feel
there
Not like I exist
But like I'm just...
there.

I remember when it started.
She was always so terrible towards me, a horrible friend.
But I stayed because I had no one else.
And she understood, she cared.
And every time I went by her house
she would scold me for eating.
She was skinny
And I was... Me.
And if I wanted to be pretty,
Then I had to be like her.
I had to let my hair fall out,
And let my body temperature drop,
And I had to count calories,
Because if I didn't,
Then nobody would ever love me.
I remember her like it was yesterday.
I had a crush on her abusive brother,
Because I thought it was cute that when I said "No"
He would always say, "oh come on, you know you love the attention."
I didn't understand then that I would carry this,
That every time things get hard,
I restrict and I don't let myself eat.
It's a way for me to feel control I guess,
Because I always did love control.
I just never had any.
I'm trying my best to overcome this,
But it's so hard.
If eating didn't make me sick,
Then maybe I could.
But I just can't stop thinking about
the way she would yell at me
and tell me all of those horrible things,
Even when I begged and pleaded for her to stop.
I realize now that she was not a friend,
She was a demon in a girls body.

There's a feeling I get when I look to the west,
And my spirit is crying for leaving.

I can't help but
Love what you write.
Those twisted words that
Mean so little.
I can't help but
Re-read it again.
There is something about the
Way the words look
On here.
I can't help but
Envy his soul.
I'm not him and
I'll never mean that much.
Death would be easier but
I'm not up for easy things.
I like challenges and puzzles.
That's why I won't end my
Labyrinth called life.
I'll keep living for the sake of
You.

Where are you now?
I'm looking for you,
Reaching out,
Waiting...

Lets turn
   Letters into
     Words and
       Words into
          Poetry, babe.

Of course you'd start to come back when you're about to truly leave.

"It was gravity.."they said.
It was gravity's fault that she was dead.
Not her own, but gravity's fault.
After all, she wouldn't have died
if gravity wouldn't have choked her.
It wasn't her fault...
gravity helped, after all.
gravitygravitygravity
It keeps you down,
it keeps us all on the ground and
it kept her from falling
but it was already too late.
A noose caught her around the neck and
gravity let her down,
yet again.

there is something so beautiful about
the way your eyes leave a
bright light in my
soul.

I haven't cut in so long that
I miss the feeling of
something other then
the sadness I feel
now.

"well I just want to be the exception, because I always have been"

sometimes being the exception isn't always the best thing. after all, most exceptions become not enough anymore. and it hurts like hell to think of how you once were an exception, and now you're just nothing.

"How can you keep that?"
                                                                    **"I don't even know anymore."